Our Lil' Junior

Since I have had children, I am prone to uh...long pauses in the middle of sentences. Or stories. Or words. Sometimes those pauses turn into complete silence. Accompanied by a blank stare. Even if I am fully engaged in relating a story or news. I just plum forget what I'm saying.

I still remember the first time this happened to me. I was pregnant with Bo. There were so many things changing within me, and well, without me---I just was not entirely prepared for all of it. I was at dinner with my brand new husband. He was proud to be married to a smart, conversational girl. I was that. Once. I remember being mid-sentence, opening my mouth to finish it and nothing came. My mind was completely blank. I couldn't even remember what I was talking about. I barely remembered if I was even talking. I was so shocked by this. And a little embarrassed. There had been no interruption, no other pause, no reason to warrant this complete blanking of my mind.

I've come a long way since then. I totally embrace my complete lack of ability to finish some most sentences.

My husband is nothing if he is not understanding and compassionate, and willing to work with me in whatever handicaps I bring to this relationship. So, he has taken it upon himself to finish my sentences.

Almost all of them.

And if I wasn't trying so hard to hold on to every fleeting thought I have, I might actually be able to enjoy his "participation" a little more. Mostly it just frustrates me though, because he pretty much NEVER comes even REMOTELY close to filling in the "blanks" properly.

For example:
"Oh man, I saw a tandem bike today and there was..."
"A man in a tutu on the handle bars?"

Um, no. A father and young son riding it.

"Oh wow, did you read this article on global warming? It made me think I was..."

"Limber?"

Really?

I finally said something to him.

So now, while my mind is blanking, and my brain races frantically through the empty streets, and rows of houses with lights on and no one home, I get to see him scan his own brain with about 42 different endings to my sentence (none of which are even remotely close to what I might have said if my thought processes weren't so effectively hijacked). I'm not sure which is worse. Watching him have so much more going on in his head, and still not getting it right----or just dealing with his completely nonsensical endings to my thoughts.

What I really wasn't prepared for, was Bo to pick up the habit. Tonight we met J for dinner because he is working late. I was telling J how on the way there I almost missed the turn onto the freeway and kind of made a sharp turn. Bo said, "Whoa, that was awkward! Awwwwwwwwkward!" in response to the sharp turn. As J and I are laughing, Bo is quietly sitting in his chair, "Yeah, well it was awkward, so that's what I said."

I almost didn't hear him chiming in on the conversation. It was unnaturally quiet for him. But he was definitely engaged in our conversation.

A few minutes later J says, "I almost said something, but then I thought...." and he paused. Maybe to take a drink. Maybe to tell Avee to get out from under the table. I dunno. But then I hear Bo say, still quietly, "Man, I don't wanna deal with this!"

It was a great ending to the sentence. And totally something J would say. But it was not the direction J was taking at all.

I think it's good to see our own obnoxiousness in children. It's so much cuter coming from them. And a nice reminder of how uncute we are when we act like that.