Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Little Bit of This, Little Bit of Nothing

I have every intention of rambling for the next 8 or 17 paragraphs, so never let it be said, you weren't warned.

This is what happens when your mom gets a new outfit for your doll that has been at the bottom of the toy box for the last 10 months:
Avee immediately began rocking her, handling her so gently and lovingly, cooing, etc. So incredibly darling. So Avee.

This is what happens to the pig that was the baby just seconds before:

Poor poor little peeg.

I was surprised to learn the Brittany Murphy died. I'm not a big fan of Hollywood and definitely have strong opinions about letting them run our society, buuuuuuuut, I've always been kind of partial to Brittany Murphy. Who knows what her private life was like, but I was always impressed in interviews and "spotlight" type things I saw of her. She seemed sensible, down to earth, kind of delightful. Anybody can be anything on camera, I'm aware of that. But she did seem genuine. And she also seemed to manage to keep the craziness of fame at bay. Regardless, 32 is much to young to die suddenly like that.

I already posted it on Facebook, but it's probably my favoritest thing that Bo has ever said.

J's younger brother Sam (18) is here visiting for the holidays. J, Sam, and Bo are three peas in a pod. So many similar mannerisms, expressions, intonation when they speak, etc. I love when I see J in Bo. So, here's Sam, the great exciting visitor and Bo will do anything to be with them, one of the boys.

Sam and J disappear into this bubble of totally boring and mostly over my head conversation when they get together. Really, I'm being nice when I say, "over my head" because in actuality, the topics are so insanely boring no sensible person would stick around and listen. But I'll just say "over my head" and hope J skims this part.

Well, Sam brought up the topic of a credit card and the minimum payments and the percentage rate for the interest that was being charged, and the balance, etc. I was mildly interested because Sam was referring to a high school girl who'd already gotten into debt. But then they sat at the computer and started doing mathematical equations and I think they figured the girl would have 57 gray hairs, 12 wrinkles, 3 dogs, a double mortgage and a used Subaru car payment before she had that card paid off.

That's where I checked out, and that's where Bo checked in. Trying to make sense of it all, and thinking he had it, he came over to me at the kitchen table and said, "Mom, look at the percentage I can hold my balance." And there he stood, so still, on one leg. So confident, so sure, so a part of the conversation. It took me about a second to catch what he'd done. And then I did everything within my power not to laugh until I couldn't breath anymore.

I saw me. The eighth of nine children, just desperate to be included, desperate to be acknowledged as smart. I saw me, an adult, clueless about the topic at hand but wanting to contribute, and doing my darndest to make sense of it all.

I cannot get over how darling and hilarious this was for me. Have I mentioned lately how thoroughly I adore this boy?

I have been a real grouch lately. One of the things I pat myself on the back about is that I'm a pretty even-keel person. Even J, who sees me, warts'n all, gets a pretty even-keel wife. He's grateful for that. And when he forgets to be, I remind. So, he's pretty much always grateful.

If I'm annoyed, or irritable, I usually get quiet until I'm over it. But the last two weeks, I've had a sinus pain, right above my right eye. It comes around 11:00-12 every morning, and lasts until about 5 or six every night. Some days it's so intense I can hardly keep my eyes open. Some days I take drugs and it takes the edge off, but still I'm not myself.

It's frustrating. It's painful. It's exhausting. And so I've become a grouch.

I heard myself snap at J several times over the weekend. I noticed that I just didn't want my kids near me. I was constantly telling everyone they were talking too loud. I couldn't figure out why Avee yelled, "I like peas!" at dinner, instead of talking normally. I had no oomph. I wanted to sleep, but wasn't necessarily tired-feeling.

Of course J got the brunt of it. But instead of saying, "Hey lady, pull yourself together!" he just kept being nice, picking up my slack, and making me feel like I'm the awesome wife and mother I usually am.

Then Sunday I felt a little better. J introduced me to his girlfriend Neti Pot and that helped a lot. But I wasn't 100% and I heard myself say something rude to J. I stopped short and apologized. I leaned against J and said, "I'm sorry I've been so grouchy today, I'm at least aware I've been a grouch today." J wrapped his arms around me and said quietly into my ear, "And yesterday? And the day before?"

HAHAHAHA! Funny guy. I was surprised for a couple of reasons. Surprised that I had been notably grouchy that long, and surprised that he brought it up. Guess it was pretty bad.

I still have the headache. In fact, I can feel it creeping up right now, but it's better and I'm nicer. Well, I think. J will have to give the final verdict on that one.

I try not to compare my kids. It's hard not to. I never let them hear me, but some of the differences are so funny to me. Yesterday as we were driving around, Avee noted that a part of the song we heard rhymed, "Moose and goose, they rhyme!"

I remembered that that was something they assessed in preschool and Kindergarten, so I thought I'd see how she did, now that she's halfway through preschool and has learned so much.
Avee, what rhymes with blue?


Um, no. Rhyme means they sound the same. Different words, that sound the same. Like blue and shoe. So, what rhymes with house?

Cuhhhh...dim.... SLOPFEE!

Does house rhyme with slopfee? Does that sound the same to you?

Yes. And slopfee IS a word.

Okay, what rhymes with snow?


I'll spare you the details of the next 10 minutes. I kept trying and it was to no avail. I don't worry about Avee. She gets what she needs to when she needs to. She is never lacking. Bo is like J, he likes to know everything about everything 27 years before it's ever even necessary to know. Bo was rhyming at three, so I kind of assumed at almost 5 Avee would know. Mark my words though, when it's assessment time, she will not come up lacking.

I'm ready for Christmas to be here. Today is Bo's last day of school and tomorrow is J's last day of work. YAY! I love having everyone home. I like to control and oppress them, and when they leave my house, it's difficult to do.

Merry Christmas Y'all!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Last year I read this post, loved the idea and immediately incorporated it into our Christmas celebration.

That was last year. This year, I couldn't be bothered. Unfortunately, I have a child who has the memory of a herd of elephants. (I just asked J, "what's something that has a good memory?" because I couldn't think of a simile on my own. These were his suggestions, almost in rapid fire: Steel trap, fox, CROW!?)
He's awesome.

So when Bo asked me what the Elves' problem was, and why they hadn't come, I let go of my scrooge-like attitude this year, and got some treats for the stockings.

But then I forgot, two days in a row because we were sick, and just remembering how to walk kept us busy. And then the third day, I remembered, but the house was truly a wreck.

I decided to go ahead and make up for the lost two days, but leave a warning. I mean, the Elves did. They wrote this letter:People who know me well, may be surprised that I have engaged in this sort of "deception". While I revel in the ability to nag my children via a different medium, I was the one, a year ago, trying to figure out how I could be "honest" with my children and tell them about Santa without them ruining it for other kids. And now look at me.

Say what you will about even considering telling my kids the truth, I still lean more toward that way, but Bo has totally and completely ruined me. He LOVES him some imaginary little people communication. And I am a sucker for his happiness.

He wrote this while I was at work:on the "flip over" side:
I laughed out loud at his generous offer of cookies that were given to us by a friend. Turns out, he was desperate for a "p.s." and that is what J supplied him with. I guess those Elves will enjoy themselves tonight!

Avee's response to all of this? At 3:25, a good 7 hours after Bo told her with excitement that the elves finally came, and a good six hours and 59 minutes after he revelled in his treat, Avee inhaled an entire chocolate covered marshmallow snowman. Never wondering where it came from, or how she got so lucky.

This my friends, is a comprehensive and nearly exact summarization of J and me, respectively.

Totally unrelated to the post, just because he's darling.

Monday, December 7, 2009

You're On My Toe

This morning I was showing Bo the lunch I was making for him. I have found that if I show him what is in it, he is more inclined to eat all of it at lunch time. It's sounds overly simplistic, I know. But I can't tell you how many times he's come home with a completely uneaten sandwich and has been genuinely surprised when I point it out to him. "I thought that was weird that you only packed me chips and a yogurt!"

For some reason, "under the chips, out of mind" really applies with him.

I show him his sandwich and remind him that if he continues to eat the healthy stuff first, he'll continue to get a treat in his lunch. As I do this, he gets unnecessarily close to me and stands on my big toe.

"You're on my toe."
"Make sure that turkey is good, last time it was crunchy and I know that isn't right."
"It's good turkey. You're on my toe."
Bo chuckles lightly.
"You're on my toe."
Bo leans closer to the turkey and smells it.
"You're still on my toe."

I have a weird tendency to like to watch how far something can go. I mean, I had just told the boy four times, quite clearly that he was standing on my toe and he made not even the slightest effort to move. I was curious.

"Do you see your shoe right there Bo? Notice that my toe is right under it?"

Slowly he lifts his shoe up and there sits my slightly squashed, now red, big toe.

Bo says with some surprise, "Oh wow! Sorry! I didn't know."

"Really!? You didn't hear me tell you all those times that you were on my toe?"

"Oh yeah, I heard you. But I didn't know you really meant it. I just thought it was something people say, like, 'get off my back'. You're never really on someone's back when they say that you know."

I realized several things in that moment. 1. I was the dumb one in that situation. 2. I'm a little sad that my six year old is so well-versed with the phrase and meaning of "get off my back." 3. My boy is smart. 4. Now his little chuckle at "You're on my toe." is waaaaay funnier to me.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm Starting To Feel A Little Picked On Here...

Bo brought this home yesterday and a minute after I saw it, I had the phone in hand to call J. What I didn't realize was Bo was watching me like a hawk and said, "Don't call anyone and tell them about it Mom!" I don't know what he's being so touchy about, I didn't just bring home a picture of him towering over every person in his family. Like some kind of behemoth...

I sent a note to his teacher that said, "Next time, I think you need to include in the instructions, 'If you happen to have a mother that is big boned, and your father is not, please do not exaggerate it so much, it's offensive'." I'll let you know if my helpful suggestion is something she'll consider.

p.s. the upside, I totally turned down the cookies someone offered me repeatedly, last night at work. This image was way too fresh in my mind...