Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh Yeah, It's All Over The Place

First, some items of business:
Thank you everyone for the nice comments on the Avee posts, and for the birthday well wishes. I was a little surprised to discover she's more like her dad than me, because she kind of didn't care about making the whole day about herself. While I'm a little saddened to see this part of me missing in her, I'm sure in the long run it's a good thing for us. I got the sense that she was a little overwhelmed at her party. I mostly invited adults who may or may not have kids her age. Halfway through the party, she asked if she and her little bff could go upstairs and wreak havoc. I let her. That was probably the best gift of all. And they weren't totally crazy. Although, there is a princess ring down the vent now....

Nextly, thank you also for the great music suggestions. I have gotten through about a third of the suggestions and have already added some great stuff to my ipod. There were a lot of great mellow suggestions (Seven! She's a person, not the number of songs I liked) that I'll have to add to my non workout playlist. Yeehaw! So, thanks everyone.

Thirdly, I saw a new number on the scale this morning. And FINALLY it's going the right direction. I guess it's not "new" per say, but it is one I haven't seen in some time.

I don't look any different, but it sure felt great to see that number. I'm pretty sure it's going to get me happily through 2-3 full cheesecakes. Wait...what?

Lastly, I have my blog posts emailed to my mom for simplicity and because I'm considerate of the elderly like that. She emailed me about my "regret" of dropping her off at the ER and not staying with her. It was all about how everything worked out perfectly, not to feel bad, etc, etc.

So basically what I'm saying here is, I'm finally on speaking terms with my mom now. I'll probably wait until we are on even better terms before I tell her that I gave away that orange and purple sweater she got me....

And now, on to some more pressing matters:

At any given point in the day when J is home, there are at least 4-23 different tabs on the internet open to those scintillating blogs that talk about booooooooooring things like the financial crisis or which politician is sleeping with which head of a financial institution or what Dilbert thinks about the new office policy...

Today after he had left I went to go close down 17 tabs to make room for Bo to watch Mario Kart on Youtube. Something caught my eye just as I was about to close a page.

It was a normal sentence like this and then it read, (Parenthetically, blah blah blah). Really? Come ON. How long did that dude wait to be able to use the word parenthetically RIGHT AFTER A PARENTHESIS!?!?! I may or may not incorporate this level of ridiculousness into my writing/speaking. I'm also going to make fun of my husband for reading stuff like this. Period.

It's okay though, he makes fun of me for watching a reality show with characters who say things like, "I need to get some sugar in my system, I need some sugar, can someone get me a diet coke, I desperately need sugar."

I'm not proud, but it can't be helped. Stupidity makes the reality TV world go 'round.

And one last story:
As many of you know, Avee likes to um...dress herself. Her favorite item of clothing is anything sleeveless. For some reason, Sleeveless=Princess. Even when I show her pictures of princesses with long sleeve shirts. In the beginning it was a big battle. Then I decided I didn't care what she wore as long as she looked normal when I needed her to, and if she was warm. So we had some battles and some give and take on both our parts and we've worked out a great symbiotic relationship in regards to her clothing. Most of the time, I let her go out looking completely insane. Because it's endearing, it doesn't matter, and of course I'm just one of those amazing moms who can allow her children to express themselves. When I want.

So, one day she shows up to the Y looking particularly insane. She had wanted to wear a sleeveless but I told her she had to wear a little shrug with it, if she wanted to wear it out. Avee's ALWAYS three steps ahead of me so she quickly agreed. With every intention of taking it off as soon as I was out of sight.

Which she did.

So when I came to get her after my workout, it was a very cold day, she had on a summer dress that was mostly pinkish, bright red socks, and boots. She also had about 3 headbands in her hair.

When I walked in the room and saw that everything had sort of gone to pot when I left, I laughed out loud.

One of the girls there said, "Why is she dressed so crazy?" and I said, "Oh, I mostly let her do what she wants when it doesn't matter. It works to let her have her way sometimes, so that when I need my way---there's less of a fight."

This 27 year old mother of a 12 year old boy raises her eyebrows at me and says, "Well, I let my son have his way too much and now he's out of control, so I'd be careful if I were you."

Going to this Y has taught me a LOT of self-restraint because I seriously wanted to guffaw so loudly I would be in danger of losing a lung.

I'll let you know if Avee ends up in anger management classes from punching her 7th grade math teacher, because I let her dress how she wants when she's 4.

That's a really good reason to read this blog for the next 10 years.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Four Years Ago Today Part 2

They monitored me and sent me home.

Yes, I felt as stupid as you imagine those people feel who think they are in labor and they aren't.

The next day was Easter. I had visions of a lovely little Easter with J and Bo and my mom, and baskets for all of us. It didn't happen.

I went for a walk to speed things up, but nothing ever seemed to be more consistent, just very painful.

Finally at 3 pm I couldn't take the discomfort and we took Bo to our friends and made our way to the hospital.

I was only at a 3 and they refused to admit me until I progressed.

By 5 o' clock my contractions were so painful I was crying and calling J names that nice girls like me shouldn't say. One time he told me I squeezed his hand too hard and it hurt him. Yeah, you wouldn't believe the self-restraint I showed in that moment. I never experienced this in my laboring with Bo. With him, I got an epidural when I was at a 7, and while I was in extreme discomfort, I hadn't lost my mind to the pain.

I was pleading with the nurses to check me in and give me an epidural. Finally around 5:30 they checked me and said, "Oh, looky there, you're suddenly a five!" and checked me in.

I got an epidural about 20 minutes later and proposed to the anesthesiologist two minutes after that. He said, "Yeah, I always get all the women, just not the right time or place for any of us." He was about 65 years old too.

I was at a 10 by 7:00 but my genius doctor (who probably just wanted to finish her Easter dinner) said she wanted to let the baby drop on her own, so that I didn't have to work so hard to push. It was the best decision ever. It was the difference in night and day from my experience with Bo. Because I had an epidural, the waiting was easy. We were still trying to decide on Avee's middle name. I pretty much obsessed over it because J picked her first name.

At 8:45 the doctor came and got all garbed up, then stood in front of me like I was going to toss her a water balloon and said, "Okay, I'm ready!"

8:55 Avee was born.

J sort of yells things out in the moment. With Bo he said, "That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!" With Avee he said, "So THAT'S how it's done!?!!!"

She was 7lbs and 7 oz.

At 9:10 my mom was wheeled in to hold her brand new granddaughter.

At 9:15 our friends brought Bo to meet his new sister.

The following Tuesday J rushed from his classes to pick me up and we found out my mom could go home too. J loaded his two invalids and new baby in the car and took us all home. He barely got us all up our three flights of stairs to our apartment, before he had to dash back to class. I'm pretty sure we were a hilarious sight walking down the sidewalk.

Both my mom and I needed prescriptions filled and I was in the best shape of the two of us, so I went back down the stairs and drove to Sams Club to get the Rx's filled. As I was walking at a snail's pace at Sam's, trying to get to the pharmacy, a man in a wheelchair came up to me and said, "Do you need one of these?" I said, "No, I just had a baby like 36 hours ago, I just have to move slow." He lurched back in his chair and zipped off. I think it might have been TMI for him.

My mom and I recuperated together. My sister in England sent us a beautiful bouquet of flowers congratulating us both on the successful removal of our "tumors". The flower delivery guy couldn't wait to see who he was delivering to.

Now Avee is 4. My little bug is a preschooler. Although, by her claims and insistence, she's been 4 for a long time. Along with 5 and a half, 7, and 2. Whatever suits her for the day.

I started blogging just a day after Avee turned 1. She has grown on this blog. The star of my show. I wrote about her growing up just before she turned two.

And then Avee turned three.

Most days I feel like I don't have a handle on Avee. I don't know what makes her tick. She has angles that I don't understand and she works me like a skilled craftswoman. Sometimes this is frustrating for me. I want to know her, I want to understand her, I want to be able to speak her language and meet her needs in the best way possible.

Then I read posts I've written about her and I'm amazed to realize I DO know her. I may not always understand, but I do know her. I know what will make her laugh, cry, get excited, sad...pretty much anything. I'm only a little bit embarrassed that the only thing that gets my little princess to smile for photos, is fake burping. But I know.

She loves her little brother in a way that makes me want to give her a dozen siblings. With a big sister like her, those children will want for nothing. Except maybe clothes and food because, seriously, a dozen more kids?

She cares what other people feel but she doesn't care what other people think. She dresses like a hobo princess and does it with finesse. She soothes Danyo when I can't take another second of his whining. And then informs me, "All he needs is a little love Mom."

Her eyes sparkle when she talks and my heart melts.

Loud and rude bodily functions will forever be the most hysterical thing in the world to her.

She knows what she likes and knows what she doesn't. She likes corndogs. She loves fish and mashed potatoes and broccoli and pho. But she hates cheese. Which is almost blasphemy in J's household.

There is nothing more devastating for her, than for me to be mad at her.

She spends 90% of her day in just her underwear.

She's smarter than I realize, but only shows it off when it keeps her from getting in trouble.

"What's wrong with your face, why is it all red---did you use all the Kandoo wipes on your face!?"
"I didn't use five of them! I put make up all over my face, I wiped it off. I put more on, I wiped it all off. I put lipstick here, here, here and here, and then I wiped it off. I only did it four times. I didn't use five Kandy wipes"

"Avee, please pick up 5 toys and put them away."

"Avee, eat 7 pieces of broccoli and you can be done."

It's not a question either, it's the final offer in a bargaining I don't have the upper hand in.

I only point these out because, when asked---she can count to 11. After that is 63, then 49, then 18, 18, 18, 23, 63....

I hope there is never an ounce of doubt in her mind how very much we adore her. I know she will go places, and my only prayer is, they are always good places for her.

Happy Birthday Avee Suuuuue, we love you.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Four Years Ago Today

Four years ago today, it was a lovely Spring Saturday and we lived in Provo Utah.

Our friends came to get in one last good visit before we entered the whole man on man defense of parenting. Avee was due in 5 days.

Jay had about 3 more weeks of classes before he graduated from college. He was taking 24 credits, working about 35-40 hours a week, and worked evenings and nights on the weekends at a retirement center, soothing the elderly with dementia and promising to call the mayor about the birds who were freezing outside.

It was a very hectic time for him, but fortunately Bo has always been a good kid and my pregnancy with Avee was one of the easiest pregnancies of all time. I'm sure of it. Except for those people who go into labor and never knew they were even pregnant. I bet those pregnancies were easier.

My mom flew out in the beginning of March to help me with the transition from one child to two, and help while J finished out school.

In case you haven't picked up on it from my blog---my mom is awesome---and she makes everything better and I can do anything if she's around. Actually, everything gets done when she's around, and I don't have to do anything---but the other sounds more flattering, for both of us. I can remember counting the weeks, days, hours before she came. And it was everything I hoped it would be.

Until March 20th. She had spent the night with horrible pains in her stomach, and because I'm selfish and didn't want her issues deterring her from helping me with my issues, I made her go to an Insta-Care. Two minutes after the nurse took her back, the doctor came and got me and brought me back to her room. He said that she had a lump the size of a grapefruit (or was it a softball?) in her abdomen. He was fairly certain it was colon cancer, based on her recent, severe anemia. One of the only symptoms of colon cancer.

I actually dropped my mom off at the ER, per the doctor's instructions. There are moments in your life that when you are in them, you don't realize how incredibly stupid you are being, but when you look back, you'd give anything to do it over. And do it differently. I wished more than anything I hadn't dropped my mom off.

I had a 22 month old baby who needed a nap, and in true Cheryl fashion, she insisted I take him home for his nap.

I wish I had stayed.

Long story just slightly less long: She had a cancerous tumor removed from her colon the following Tuesday.

I waddled my pregnant self to the hospital as regularly as possible, with and without Bo. While Bo was a good boy, that doesn't mean he didn't often act like an ape on crack. He was

I have little to no memory of seeing J during that week. He was so incredibly busy.

Friends and family came and called all the time. Sometimes at 6 in the morning. And regardless of who you are or why you are calling, that kind of thing requires me to give you a what-for.

My mom was recovering beautifully. Her spirits were high, she was making fun of the older men on her floor who walked the floors in their gowns, letting all their backsides enjoy the breeze. That was until someone kindly told her, she herself was leaving little to the imagination on one of her walks.

Laughing hurt, but she laughed a lot. And then yelled at you for making her laugh.

I may get in trouble for telling this story, but to this day, it makes me laugh. One day she was sort of fading in and out of sleep and was getting so annoyed by a loud, buzzing/growling sound being made by one of the machines in her room. She wished they'd turn it off so she could get some real sleep. She almost even called someone to help her, when she jerked fully awake and realized the sound was actually her snoring.

Back to the lovely Spring day 4 years ago today....
We had a delightful afternoon and evening with our friends and the evening ended too soon.

Within an hour of them leaving I started having mild contractions.

I drove myself to the hospital at 3 am because the contractions, while still somewhat irregular (10 minutes, then 8, then 17) were more painful than I remember Bo's ever getting....

The rest: Four Years Ago Tomorrow----tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Potlucks and Pokemon

Methinks I spoke too soon!
I'm healthy again, but seems like my days are filled with everything but my much loved---being a blob in front of the computer.

It's Spring Break and we are having fun filling our days with adventures.

A few things I've learned this lovely Spring Break.

1. Danyo is a little bit crazy. We went to a museum that was totally awesome for all three kids. Danyo toodled around for over 2 hours and had a blast. And then suddenly he was done and went stark raving mad. Throwing his head around, preferrably against my jaw or shoulder, screaming, writhing, not wanting to be down, but not wanting to be held---completely irrational. So I left. On the way home he threw things at me, screeched and spent a good 7 minutes focusing on his finger control, trying to manage the bird for the next time I looked at him. Totally rude.

2. Iowans are like crazed inmates who were wrongfully imprisoned, being released from jail-- when the weather warms up here. It's not just Iowans, because I am not an Iowan, but I'm totally guilty of said behavior. The temperature is above 30 and we're out in our flipflops shoving our kids down half frozen slides and breaking the ice off the swings. Our kids teeth are chattering and their runny noses have turned into slush, but we're just happy their lips aren't blue and their snot's not ice.

This week has been nice, and getting out and letting the kids run around has been wonderful.

Next item of business:

I love Bo. What? You didn't know that? The boy just cracks me up. It's the same ol' stuff, I just love it more every day. He's very interested in adult conversation and often answers along with or in place of J, when I ask a question--to J. Such as, "What did you think of that presentation?" Bo will say something completely appropriate, but totally unusual for a 5 year old. He's like a short, red-haired J. Who hasn't learned that covering your nosepicking with one hand, does not make your nosepicking invisible.

Sunday after church we had a potluck. Bo has told me in no uncertain terms that he'd pretty much rather do anything but go to the first hour of church. It is very boring, I agree. But he loves the rest, so he's getting better about accepting the whole package. But when he learned there was a potluck afterwards, we couldn't get to church soon enough.

Only, he calls them Potlicks. And it's probably my most favoritest mispronunciation of all. There's some stiff competition too, "Fpidoman" and "Excelerate" (for celery)....

Well, his favorite part about potlicks, is the running around like wild animals that takes place after your mom lets you eat a plate of whip cream fluff, chocolate chip cookies, a tablespoon of rice, and two scoops of ice cream.

Bo chose to sit with his bf "K-K's" family instead of ours. Typically we would have been sitting nearby too, but we try to branch out sometimes.

Bo never left K-K's dad's side, the entire time. He went back for more whip cream fluff, but it was like a magnet in his chin was attached to BA's elbow. I noticed it about halfway through dinner. Bo was enthralled and engaged, and laughing quite a bit.

Then I found out what they were talking about.

BA was giving Bo band name ideas. I have no idea what conversation led to the final decisions, but they were "The Tongues" and "The Colonoscopies". It doesn't matter who you are, or where you are---a 5 year old saying "colonoscopy" with pride, is hilarious.

Today I also learned a little more about what BA has to offer in conversation with a 5 year old.
Turns out he has his very own Pokemon character. And while this may be greek, or unfunny to those of you who's lives have been unfettered by Pokemon---I find it hilarious.

He is "Dad-i-chu". And his special powers are "spanking power" and "grounding power".

Now, I love that he has the lingo and plays the game with these kids. But on his own terms.

Today when I was driving with Bo he was telling me about Dadichu's powers.

"He can like, use his powohs and gwound you foh a WEEK! But you can dodge it, and if you dodge it, than you can still play outside with yo' friends."

I'm not sure why this made me laugh so much. I guess it's because to me, Dadichu is totally off the wall, but somehow it's completely acceptable and admirable to these Pokemon fanatics.

The funniest part for me and J, was that as we were driving home Sunday after the potlick, Bo completely cried and complained the entire way home because we didn't "let him" play with his friends. J and I couldn't stop laughing enough to explain clearly that he CHOSE to sit next to BA the entire time, and that he spent over an hour sitting there instead of playing with his friends.

If he had to do it all over again, he'd still sit next to Dadichu---even knowing what he knows now. But Bo's always been really good at crying over spilled milk, and wanting his cake and to eat it too.

I feel like, for Omar's sake, I should round this out with a little bit about Avee, but this is already long enough. We did talk about her birthday this morning and as we talked about what decorations she wanted, it led to what gifts she wanted. She spotted a nice gold bra on Ariel, on the Little Mermaid pajamas she was wearing. She asked me if I could get her "a small one of those". It's this strange combination of completely aware ("small") and totally clueless (a gold strapless bra for a 4-year-old).

Oh! Oh! I have a story I need record of. It happened a couple of weeks ago. It was when Bo was sick, but almost better. He and I were upstairs, preparing to take a nap. Downstairs, J told Avee she could watch Spiderman.

In her excitement Avee ran upstairs and said, "Mom! Mom! I'm going to watch Spiderman, but I'm not going to watch the one that says, 'What the hell?!' I'm going to watch the one that doesn't say 'What the hell!?' I am mom, I am!" I assured her of how wonderful that was and she dashed off to watch her "age-appropriate" Spiderman.

Bo was giggling next to me and I was laughing too. I said to Bo, "It's so funny, she doesn't even realize she's saying a bad word when she says that to me!" And Bo said, "And she said it two times even though she could have just said it once!"

I'm pretty sure Bo's been trying to figure out a way to get two bad words into one sentence like that, ever since.

I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm Baaaaaaaaaack

That's the good news.

The bad news is: I have nothing to blog about.

That's never stopped me before though.

It's Avee's birthday next week. I'm trying to decide if I want to have a little party or just have cake and ice cream with the family. All she cares about is the cake---so I'm considering just going with that and saving myself the trouble.

Bo has been focusing on earning money lately. He doesn't have any particular purchase in mind, but he's very intent on saving up for something big. The other day was Popcorn Day at school and they get a little bag of crappy popcorn for 50 cents. He came down the stairs in the morning and said, "Mom, I have a problem. I'm trying to save my money for something big, but I'd really like to get popcorn today and it costs 50 cents."

I'm a bad mom because that stuff TOTALLY works on me. "Here sweety, here's $20, buy 40 bags of crappy popcorn." Seriously, that's what this kid does to me, and I'm only barely exaggerating. I tried to get J to save me and be the parent with backbone so I said, "What do you think Dad, could we just give him the money for popcorn?" I totally expected J to say, "Yeah, sure." But instead he said, "How much does it cost?" I ended his involvement quickly before J did something crazy like deprive my baby of crappy popcorn.

Then, the next day Bo found 5 one dollar bills on top of the tv. He said, "ooooh, I wish that was my money!" In that way that kids say things like, "I wish I could have something cold and creamy from the freezer that's flavored chocolate, but I don't know what it is..."

When that didn't do the trick, a few minutes later he lovingly caressed the ones and said, "If you wanted to give me this money, I wouldn't mind, I wouldn't mind at all."

I secretly love his obsession with money because I think he'll have worked out a lot of kinks by the time it matters. Kinks that many of us as adults, still don't have worked out. Plus, my cute little niece was like this when she was his age and now she is like the queen money saver of England at a mere 15 years of age.

We're trying to think of something fun to do over Spring Break. If anyone knows of anything family friendly and fun, anywhere in the state of Iowa, or Illinois. Or Nebraska. Or....Wisconsin? Let me know. Keep in mind, we have a 5 year old, an almost 4 year old, and a 21ish month old and we really don't like having to watch them. A lot. We're considering one of those indoor waterpark thingy-ma-bobs and even J's game (he's the biggest vacation scrooge of all time) but I think I'm not. I'm terrified of one of my kids drowning, so I imagine all day at a waterpark would be ulcer-making material.

Well, since I have nothing to say, I may as well use the time to get some ideas from y'all.

Two thing: One, I need to spice up my ipod. It's El Lamo. So, I want from anyone who reads this, your top 5 picks for your own ipod, mp3, walkman, boombox, what have you. If you have 10 must-haves, go ahead and list them. But try to do at least 5. Even if you've never commented here, I want to hear it. You can do it anonymously if the soundtrack of your life is as ridiculous as mine and you don't want to be outed.

Nextly: We are in the market for a new digital camera. Two things that are important to us: Rechargeable battery, video taking capabilities. My friend has one I love and would buy in an instant, but it's like $400 and I just don't think I want to spend that much on something that may or may not end up in the toilet the day after I buy it. Do you have one you love? Any ideas?

Aren't you glad I'm not sick anymore and I'm clogging up the blogwaves with such scintillating writing?


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Conversations That Have Made Me Laugh

Me: You do know what "WTF" means, right?
Friend: No. But hey! What does S-A-H-M mean? I think I figured out, I think it means "sexy and hot mama." I saw it on this one girl's blog and I didn't know what it meant, then I figured it out and I was surprised that she was calling herself that!
Me: HAHAHAHHAAAA! That's hilarious. It means, stay-at-home-mom!
Friend: Oh.

J: Come help me
Me: Okay, hang on though (clicking on my sitemeter) I just have to make sure no pervs are linking to my blog. Okay! Looks good, no pervs today!
J: I guess that makes your blog impervious, huh?

Me: Avee, you have two choices, you can either sit quietly on the bench, or you can sit quietly on my lap, what's your choice?
Avee: A spank! I choose a spank. Just don't do it very hard.
Me: (Laughing too hard to hide from her)
Avee: I love it when you laugh like that Mom.
Me: Spanking is not a choice. How about this, you choose to sit quietly or you'll get yelled at, do you want to get yelled at?
Avee: No-I mean, yes! Just do it quietly and not very long.

Bo: Is Avee still up in her room?
J: No.
Bo: She already came down?
J: Bo, guess how many seconds Avee spent up in her room.
Bo: 70?
J: None. She spent no time upstairs in her room. And you know why? Because she weasels out of everything. The ability to weasel, that's what separates us from the animals.
Except the weasel.

(on the phone) Do you have any yellow cake mix?
Jay:(after I hang up) I don't see what the big deal is, if Iraq buys a yellow cake from South Africa. Heh heh heh.
Me: blank stare
Me: was that a joke?
Jay: yeah!
Me: Don't tell jokes that are not funny and make people feel more stupid.

Then J explained the joke and it still wasn't funny and still made me feel stupid. I totally win that discussion. And I keep score of discussion winners.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Message From A Bottle

I have been sick.

I know a lot of people have gotten this. And I'd like to say I'm sorry. Well, I am. But I'm more sorry about me because that just seems to work best for me.

Today is the first day I've wanted to be upright without causing great bodily harm to anyone near me. And I use the word "wanted" loosely. I finally went to the dr this morning because I couldn't take another sleepless night. My lungs pull out all the stops and have a huge party and don't invite oxygen and I cough and cough and cough and thus, don't sleep. Sadly, neither does my husband. But I'm more concerned with my lack of sleep. Because that also works for me.

I'm not nice to my kids either. I've yelled at all three of them more meanly than a child should ever be yelled at in their lifetimes. And yeah, it's made them cry. But guess what else it did? It made them listen. I didn't yell the first 5 times I had to say something, but looky there, screaming like a banshee does the trick!

I took some medicine that "may" cause drowsiness and "may" has turned into "yeah, it do" and I'm typing through half closed eyes. Not even lying. This is either sincere devotion or complete psychosis. I'm pretty sure I flirt along that line daily with my actions.

Mostly I wanted to say Hi, Y'all. And that I probably won't be blogging for a few more days until I can rid the demons of fever and pain from my body.

The good news is, I've made a priceless discovery that will help me in parenting Avee. In my limited capability of being on the ball as a parent, I've only half-heartedly kept my kids on the straight and narrow. The one that they seem to have a hard time keeping themselves to. Avee promised me she had eaten her lunch and was ready for her chocolate (she found a king-size Hershey bar in our glove compartment this morning, right after her eyes rolled back in her head from the sheer joy of anticipation, she broke into it and had 4 complete squares down her before I stopped her). Avee will stash contraband anywhere, so I assumed she had done so with her lunch, in order to get to the chocolate faster. So I listed off the normal places, "trash, toilet, drawer, under couch cushions," etc. And she laughed. She thought every thing I said was SO funny. Then I suddenly remembered this happening before when I thought she had done something that her friend had actually done.

Even though her little mind thinks of these things on her own---she thinks they are outrageous and hilarious coming from me. So, this is good news. Laughing= she told the truth.
Darting to recover hidden food = she lied and I busted her.

Now I'm going to go lay down on the couch.

Probably on a peanut butter sandwich...

*any and all spelling, grammatical, or political incorrectness are a direct result of the elixar that "do cause drowsiness" and any issues with such errors or incorrectness can be directed to that bottle.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's Just a Joke

I was sitting at the computer with my back to the kids when I heard J say,
"Hey Avee, why so serious?"

I whip around to see her face (earlier this morning she was sobbing because she heard me say I loved J and I forget that in her mind, loving her and loving J are mutually exclusive). To be honest, I was shocked to "hear" J noting a female emotion that hadn't been verbally expressed. Loudly.
He hadn't. He was just quoting his favorite movie. Aptly though, dontcha think?

p.s. Mom, J was quoting the Joker in the most recent Batman Movie. Even though it's J's favorite movie, you should not see it.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Lesson Learned

"Sure Bo, you can choose that 'hammer' for your prize, but I don't want to see you hitting any people with it, okay?"

I may as well have said, "Sure Bo, there's oxygen in this room, but I don't want to see you breathing any of it, okay?"

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Skip to the End (Name that movie!)

Wellllll, I'm back from the living dead. You didn't know I was with the living dead, did you? The beauty of saved drafts.

Is it just me or is this winter's round of illness particularly prevalent? And harsh? Bo has been SO sick this whole week. It started last Saturday and the moment he said, "My head hurts" I looked at him and knew it was the flu. And it was a doozie.

Today is his first fever free day and he is using all newly regained energy to yell at and taunt Avee---so I know he's on the mend.

I loved the comments in the last post--I wanted to respond to them individually, but I just didn't have the oomph to do it, and now it seems like I'd show up at a Fall party wearing white shoes---so I'm just not going to embarrass myself. But I appreciated what people shared, and some really got me a'thinkin'.

One thing that stood out to me was how much other's words affected us, in our youth. I told J last night, "If I ever catch our kids being cruel to each other, I will...I will...I will beat them." I was so serious and he laughed at me. It makes me sad that people still struggle in their adult life with things their siblings said carelessly or even parents. It makes me want to be more careful with how I say things to my own children. Makes me want to.

Bo really wanted to go to school today but I bribed him to stay home with the promise that he could play with friends when they got home, and we'd go on a walk or to the park, and that we'd go to Family Fun Night at his school. Sort of backwards, but ehhhhhhhh, he wasn't quite ready for a full day of school, even though he wasn't contagious anymore. If it's possible for a child to ever not be contagious. What with all the licking and picking and touching...
This was acceptable for Bo.

So basically, what I realized after a day spent with semi-healthy Bo is, I could pretty much never send him back to school and be happy with it. There'd be some guilt with such a decision because I also probably wouldn't homeschool him--but I'm sure more TV and less getting up to take him to school would assuage that guilt. He's just downright delightful. And I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom. People stop me all the time and say, "he looks like he's downright delightful."

No they don't.

We had a really fun day.

My friend came over in the morning and after stepping over my piles of laundry long enough, we decided to get lettuce wraps and go to the park. We called a couple of other friends and made it a party. The weather is beautiful here right now. Danyo thinks he's died and gone to heaven---he hasn't played outside since the Bush Administration. We all know that the Bush Administration essentially ended before a new president was actually put in. It's been a long time for poor lil' Danyo.

I was sort of dreading FFN at Bo's school, but I had a promise to keep. But THEN I found out that the Family Fun Night was actually Family "Empty the Bank Account" Night and that it was a totally packed event and blah blah blah. So I bribed Ben AGAIN with a trip to Mr. Cheese's to play ski ball---his new passion. He threw in a trip to get a pack of Pokemon cards with his own money, and we had ourselves a deal.

We got a babysitter for Avee and Danyo and went out on the town. By way of Chuck E Cheesery's. My friend called me on our way home and asked incredulously, "Why'd ya get a babysitter to go to a kid's place!"

Ehhhh, we wanted to play. Avee and Danyo were tired and are kind of the "have to be watched and stuff" brand of kids.

Bo probably played 37 games of ski ball. He's really good and it kind of cracks me up to watch his little 5 year old self hurl a ball up the ramp in hopes of the 10,000 point hole "up in the coh-no"

I've been a little sick myself this week, and while one of the symptoms is exhaustion, for me it's also coupled with mild restlessness. Where I usually fall asleep quickly at night or take a nap easily when the opportunity presents itself, I have been unable to do both all week. The combination of which, has resulted in a Nobody with diminished capacity. On all fronts.

I knocked the cup of tokens off the ski ball lane two times in less than 5 minutes. My high score on ski ball was on average, 10,000. For some perspective, Bo was averaging about 22K. There's a basketball game I love to play there and I try to beat my best every time I go, my best of about 197 or something. I got nothing over 150. I bumped into people regularly, I dropped over 100 tickets, like three times. Basically I was a bumbling idiot. It really made me laugh. J? Not so much. I guess he doesn't like "picking things up all the time". Whatever.

We got some nice pictures taken. I think I'll cancel our appt with JCPenney's Photography and just have Avee and Danyo photoshopped in. What do you think?

One thing I noticed is Bo's similarity to Barack in that 3rd picture. As much as he'd like his skin color, his nice suits, and his residency in the White House---for now he'll have to settle for pictures of them both with a disproportionately large hand.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Things That Change You

Do remember those certain moments in life that sort of define how you are today? Not big life changing moments (although, I guess they could become life changing) but--more like small moments that change how you view the world?

I was thinking the other day about some when I went to wash and condition my hair, and did my usual, check and double check of the label on my shampoo and conditioner bottle.

When I was about 5 years old, my mom let me wash my own hair. And so I did. And I done good. When she came back, she asked me if I had washed it. I told her that I had. And she looked around and said, "with what shampoo?" I pointed to a large bottle. She picked it up and said, "This is conditioner, not shampoo!" I insisted it was shampoo, I had looked at the label and saw that it was shampoo and knew that by reading it, I could be trusted to wash my hair with shampoo. She showed me the label, and it did in fact say conditioner. I scoured that label looking for ANY word that looked like shampoo. I was SO SURE.

Of course I was wrong. But I remember so clearly seeing the word shampoo and feeling confident that I wasn't acting like an irresponsible 5-year-old.

To this day--I will not pour it out into my hand or put it on my head until I've seen the word "shampoo" at least two times on the label. More likely 3 or 4 though. Even if the bottles are different colors. Even if I'm completely out of conditioner, I will still check the label of the only bottle available.

Another one:

When I was about 9 years old I was outside when someone was visiting our house and I was laughing and smiling and doing my darnedest to get attention. After the lady left, my mom said to me, "You didn't brush your teeth today." She was right, but I didn't care. I had more important things to worry about than dental hygiene. But then she said, "It's really pretty awful Nobody, people see this pretty little girl with a great smile and beautiful red hair and then you smile and then they think 'eeeeewwwww, that's a shame, she'd be so cute if she had clean teeth'."

Of course what I heard first was "pretty little girl". But the description of me smiling with nasty teeth really stuck with me. It didn't just convince me to brush my teeth regularly, but it made me aware that people see more than I realize they see. And you'll be relieved to know, that I take personal pride in my dental hygiene now.

Fast forward many years.

I was about 23 years old. I was going to college in Northern Utah and my cousin was going to school about 100 miles south. We were going to drive to our family reunion in California together. We met and packed up the car in Salt Lake City and started to head out of town. We were winding our way to a freeway entrance. I think we realized we needed gas. She went to make a left turn from a middle turning lane. The two lanes in the opposite direction were slowing down for a red light. The lane closest to us slowed to a stop to let her through. The second lane was slow, and she slowly rolled through when a jeep came flying down the lane and broadsided us. It was my first and only car accident. Because I could move and nothing was broken, I thought it was no big deal. The stupid jeep was going about 35, when he was supposed to be slowing to a stop anyway. Either way, it was our fault, so it didn't matter how fast he was going. The best/worst part of the story---it was a mechanic test driving a customer's car just before he finished up and gave the car back. Yikes, eh?

To this day, I will not make a left turn like that. I can't bring myself to do it. If there is any traffic at all, I'll go to a light to turn around. The weird part? I'll totally do it for a right turn.

And then the last one I was thinking about.

Not much later, when I was a senior in college I lived with a great group of girls. One had been my roommate the year before. Another was a freshman girl I had babysat when I was 14-17 years old and her dad was in med school. Her mom and I had remained friends after they moved, and that year, Camille and I became very good friends. Later she babysat Bo for me when I worked a part-time job while J was in school. Then we traded childcare for date nights, and when we weren't doing that, we spent the time dancing around the streets singing "The Circle of Life".

So that's not the story. The story is---I was kind of a rude person. I didn't hesitate to make other people the butts of my jokes. I had no idea how rude I was. Because I still had the world view that people saw the world the same way I did. And I didn't mind people making jokes at my expense. Well, only if it was funny.

Well, we had a roommate named Heidi. And Heidi had a friend named Heidi. Who called 2-3 times a day. But Roommate Heidi was rarely home, so Friend Heidi would leave a message. And she'd say, "Hi Heidi this is Heidi, just calling to say hi!" And she said the same thing EVERY time. It was really funny. But because I deemed it kind of ridiculous, I sort of treated her like she was. I didn't consciously THINK that about her when we were together, but I definitely treated her that way. So, one day she was over at our house and she said something and I responded with something I'm sure I thought was funny, and I'm positive was rude.

Then I heard Camille say, "She isn't trying to be mean, I promise, she's really very nice."

It struck me to the core. I couldn't believe that THAT was being said about me, and I watched Heidi's face kind of change like, "Oh, she isn't picking on me because of me?" and I felt horrible. As I should have.

I doubt Camille remembers this. I hope Friend Heidi doesn't remember this. But I'm glad I do. There is no place for that kind of humor and if someone else has to be the butt of your joke, it isn't worth it. Unless you sit and make bracelets at a Girl's Night Out and I know you can take it. Then all bets are off. I will totally make fun of you, all for a laugh.

What are some of your "defining moments"?

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Best Part?

I actually paid someone to do this to her hair.

Sorry about the drool. She is impossible to photograph. She thought it was funny when she did it, thought it was "soooooo disgusting" when she saw it.