Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In Which Nobody Is Possibly Mushy

Dear J,

There are things you can't know about someone when you agree to marry him and raise a family together and spend happily ever after together. And it's a good thing you are twitterpated and hopelessly in love, because that's pretty much what compels you to make the biggest commitment of your life..

Plus, most people tend to put their best foot forward when they are dating. You can never really be entirely sure if some behaviors are lasting, or are just a show to win your hot self over.

There's really no sure fire way I could have known that you would be the kind of guy who comes home to utter and complete chaos, laundry everywhere, a screeching baby, and 5 other kids, all under the age of 5, hungry and tired and needy---and not even bat an eye. I pride myself on being a good parent, keeping my cool, being patient, and enjoying myself as much as possible, even amidst the chaos.

You made me look like a total poser last night. You quickly got dinner rolling and made dinner an entirely enjoyable experience for all 6 kids. And your wife. Even if you did bring home spicy chili chips for a bunch of little kids. Who insisted on eating them. And burning their mouths. But still eating them.

I think I can do things by myself. Things I don't have any business thinking I can do by myself. But you don't ever tell me I can't. Or make me feel dumb for being so delusional. You just quickly step in and pick up the slack. Or take over the reins completely and do it even better.

Thank you.

Thank you for bringing order home with you last night.

Thank you for doing every little dumb thing that needed to be done that I couldn't get to or didn't. Thank you for not letting the 5 year old talk me in to hauling the twin mattress upstairs so that he could have his cake and eat it too.

Thank you for being kind and gentle with me when I'm being a ninny-mom and having trouble letting my 5 year old be a 5 year old. And not a 5 year old who's treated like a 6 month old.

Thank you for always being kind to me.

Thank you for being late to work so I could clean up all the complete-lack-of-bladder-and-bowel-control problems that happened in the night before I succumbed to a lack-of- gag-reflex-control problem. And without Danyo dancing in the mess or hitting me with something or screaming in my ear because I'm cleaning up crap instead of...oh, looking at him.

Thank you for taking Bo to school even though you didn't have to.

Thank you for not yelling at me when the backpack you looked for for several minutes was underneath me the entire time. I so would have griped at you or made fun of you for being a big backpack-sitter-onner if the tables were turned. Thanks for being better than me. In so many ways. But never acting like you are.

And for never asking me what I did all day. Even when it would be a really justified question.

Pretty much every day (except when you leave your dirty socks on the floor) I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, to be married to you.

Then there are days like today when I am overwhelmed with gratitude that it wasn't a game to win me over---you really are as wonderful as I thought you'd be, and then some.

Thanks for putting an even better foot forward in marriage.

Love Always,
Nobody

20 comments:

InkMom said...

Wow . . . sounds like a really loaded 24 hours or so. Thank you for sharing. Your husband redeems Y-chromosomes everywhere.

Totally unrelated: your kids look like they could be related to my kids. Who knew red hair would be so dominant?

MommyJ said...

Awww shucks... you are totally mushy. But I'm glad. I love this post.

look... sisters commenting together...

Child Family said...

Do you happen to pimp him out? You know, you could probably make some good money. :)

Wha? Your selfish.

:)

Code Yellow Mom said...

I love you too, J. (In a nice, Nobody's friend kind of way. :))

And I don't know why, but this post just makes me want to make a whole bunch of corny "who's on first?" type jokes...

Who's sitting on the backpack?
Nobody.

Who tried to get this mess cleaned up all day and couldn't get to it? Nobody.

Who's kids need fed?
Nobody's. And Nobody's neighbors'.

Who are you married to?
Nobody.

No, really. Who?
NOBODY!

Shoot. SOMEBODY needs to go to bed now. (That would be me.)

Code Yellow Mom said...

BTW - Nobody, I'm so glad you have someone so great. NOBODY deserves it more. :)

Mrs Lemon said...

Yeah - husbands like that rock :)

Emily said...

Awww, I'm speechless.

The world would be a better place if EVERY nobody had a J and every J had a nobody.

love you guys. . .

The Howertons said...

I have to say - that although this is written to big J - It made me feel all happy in side for you.
Oh and I am totally still laughing about the backpack sitter onner!

Also you should know that I was at J.S. house today when you called. so this could possibly be me tomorrow -

yeah, I think....


Why do I hear laughter?

omar said...

Bo, Avee, Danyo... I've done the math, I only count three.

And not that I'm overtly questioning your love for your husband, but if you really loved him, you'd watch Star Wars. (High-five, J.)

Cindy said...

That was so sweet! We also think that J is pretty great!

Tori :) said...

When you slept right next to me in Oregon I didn't notice you having any bowel or bladder control problems...

This was a very sweet and mushy posts and since I never write posts like that it almost made me gag. Not. I loved it! Just remember J is lucky to have Nobody.

And I'm gonna have to agree about the Star Wars comment by Omnar 3000. (I'm not a good nickname maker-upper.)

No Cool Story said...

This is NCS post recap:

J = WIN Maximus
CYM = Full of Win

Big backpack-sitter-onner = Loser!

No Cool Story said...

Your life could potentially change Nobody.
From big backpack-sitter-onner loser to Gigantic Nobody of Awesome if you watched Star Wars.


Now, if Omar tuned into Tina eat your food you fat lard...well, then we'd have ourselves an Epic Win.

Klin said...

I was all teary eyed and thinking he was perfect and then you mentioned the socks on the floor and I realized that he is still perfect and human.

NOBODY should have a husband that is awesome.

You could watch Star Wars. It's pretty good. You'll probably like it.

Big Jay said...

Omar,

You're pretty much right about the Star Wars thing. I mean what is the deal here? It's totally a double standard. I watched FRIED GREEN TOMATOES with her for crying out loud. And The Notebook. And... oh never mind.

Another movie... Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan. I think in the seventh grade they make you watch that movie and do a 2 page paper on it. It's like the Harry Potter of 1982, ask anyone.

Big Jay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Tilley said...

khaaaaaaaaan!!! sorry, i couldn't resist.
i love hearing (reading) you get all mushy. ben makes me wish i were better at junk and stuff. i should be more prone to getting mushy and whatnot, but then he'd think something was wrong, that i'd burned down the house or something and didn't want him to kill me...

Sketchy said...

I was going to post something sweet and mushy, because I loved your post.

But seriously, once you start down the Star Wars path forever will it dominate your destiny.

Especially since you have little boys. And J.

And you probably won't get that joke since you haven't watched Star Wars.

megachick said...

oh, i am so jealous. it's not fair you flaunting your near-perfect husband like that.

aubrey said...

i know i am weeks late in reading this but this brought tears to my eyes. it did. you are married to one heck of an awesome guy, nobo. and almost every single thing i read {almost} reminded me of paul and myself.