Sunday, February 8, 2009

Nobody's Business

Last night at work I asked a woman for an emergency contact for her file.

She couldn't think of anyone. She didn't have anyone. Finally she gave me her landlord's name.

The rest of the night, my heart hurt. No one should be that lonely.

Tonight I asked an intoxicated man if he would be able to write, and sign a form.

He looked up at me with a scruffy beard and unkempt hair and chocolate eyes and slurred, "Let's just put it this way, in the 5th grade I got an award for having the best handwriting."

I choked back tears because suddenly when I looked down I saw a little boy's eyes and they were beaming with pride. I saw someone's child looking back at me.

When do these people stop being someone's child. Someone's brother? Someone's friend? He too had no contacts.

I could never work for real in the medical field because any more involvement than I already have with a patient, and I would probably be a bawling mess all the time.

After he signed the forms (with flair!) I said, "You've still got it! That looks great!" He laughed and then said, "Yeah, but I'm pretty freaking ____ed up. Now go get me some crackers!"

I thought using freaking to classify the F word, was pretty funny. Why not just say it twice?

Anyway. I mostly wanted to post so I didn't have my most favoritest post ever up for like 67 years. But it was fun.

I wanted to say before that happened how appreciative I was/am for all the great feedback I got. I got some good things to try/read/explore, and I really appreciate it. Generally if a kid is crying and wailing more than a situation requires, they get sent away to do their business. We won't begrudge them their anguish, wejust won't subject ourselves to it. But these fits aren't normal, they are indicative of a bigger issue. I feel like I have a better idea of how to deal with him. And I've had some helpful communication with his teacher.

So thank you. And not to be mean or play favorites or anything, but Anonymous was still my favorite. I need a nickname for her.


This morning Avee woke me up by whispering into my ear, almost conversationally, "Those haircutting scissors in the bathroom don't really cut hair very well."

Yes, yes, I did leap out of bed instantly.

She's such a little turkey. I hate to think what she could have pulled off had they been better scissors. She managed to cut along one side, and now it frames her face even better.

It seems entirely unfair that she can be so naughty, and only enhance her haircut. How can I prove to her that she shouldn't do such things when she already has better haircutting skills than I have?

Okay, that's all. Oh wait, no, I'm not done yet.

To people who've "delurked": Thanks! To people who read and don't comment, I don't think it's weird to read someone's blog and not comment. I mean, I put it out there on the world wide web, don't I? And it's not like I blog about my kids or my feelings or anything that's important....
oh wait. Just kidding. I guess I just am flattered anyone would even come back after seeing what a bad mom I am---lurker or not. But still, thanks for the people who said hi for the first time.

Look at me, I'm all kinds of grateful and sweet tonight.

Now go get me some crackers!


MommyJ said...

First?! I'm adding the question mark because I am not going to comment first before I type my real comment, so the question mark indicates that I very well may not be first by the time this long comment makes it in to your comment section.

And I'm done rambling about nothing.

lucy does not have mad haircutting skills. maybe I should let avee try to fix lucy's mullet.

I think you're tough for handling your job even with the minimal involvement you have with the patients. I'm not cut out for that stuff.. I'd be a wreck.

And yes. we're friends. best friends forever, actually. Since you asked.

ucmama said...

C always ended up with a better haircut too after she took scissors to her own head. Life is full of little mysteries.

Analiese said...

Third - I have always wanted to say that.

The Queen said...

Yes. I've been blogging and reading blogs for a very long time..and your Anonymous.. is one of my top five..all time.. posts..

You were beat out by Big Bertha,, some Kitchenitis, and a few family squabbles.. for the top spot..

Delurking is wonderful...but I did't lurk.. I frogged you...

enroll the youngun in beauty school tomorrow..I need a free haircut..

aubrey said...

oh my gosh about those sad people at the hospital. i would be a blubberhead if i worked your job and saw that.

avee is just plain awesome. maybe you should get her some real haircutting scissors and she could turn into the youngest hairstylist out there. she could make you rich. you know it's a good idea.

Clint & Alicia McLaws said...

Hey Aubrey's today's economy, we could all use a break. Put her amazing haircutting skillz to work! You make a profit, and we benefit with affordable and amazing haircuts =]

S said...

Awe shucks sis, you would be a great nurse nurse. Sometimes is only about finding crackers:)

S said...

Sometimes its not.

Code Yellow said...

Re: Aves. She really is mini YOU. That's all I'm sayin'

And your interaction with patients is also totally why I'd never make it in a profession like that. Except from what I can see, by the time you get out of med school, they pretty much hammer any human feeling and sense of humor right out of you so you can deal with stuff. So yeah, definitely don't YOU go being a doctor. Ever.

Code Yellow said...

PS...Nurses are a different story. Some of them can still be very cool. Just to qualify. :)

Millie said...

I liked this post. I can't be any more creative or witty than that at the moment.

The "when do people stop being..." paragraph really got to me. It seems like some people never really get a chance at life and it makes me wonder why, and feel sad, and yet feel blessed. Then feel guilty for being blessed.

It's complicated. :)

Charlotte said...

Sometimes I think my husband heart breaks a little (sometimes a lot) every shift he works in the Emergency Department.

And most drunks in the ED are making an understatement if they qualify their condition with only two "F" words.

I have never been so lucky with my kids and scissors. I get entire chunks of hair cut down to the scalp. And then they turn to their clothes, making sure to get anything brand spanking new. And sometimes if they aren't tired yet, they'll hit the sheets on their bed, too.

Eric & Kristi said...

I admit I'm a lurker. I don't comment everytime, but I'm a faithful reader. Love ya, Nobody.

Mikelene said...

Would you like saltines, Ritz, Goldfish, or graham crackers?

My hubby's in the med. field. He's able to block a lot of stuff out. Except when it comes to kids. :(

NOBODY said...

MommyJ: Even with your prologue, you were first! I know this makes you feel complete. I'm glad. I had a mullet when I was a few years older than Lucy. I think we even PAID for it. And I'm glad to know where we stand. :)

UCMAMA: "Life is full of little mysteries" made me laugh.

Analiese: I love your sense of humor. Seriously.

The Queen: I'll have to check out some of the Anonymous competitors. I've seen some good ones in my time, but there's nothing like your first.
I'm fairly certain you will never be called a lurker. :) And I still don't know what froggin is.

Aubrey: It is a good idea! But I pretty much gauge every parenting decision I make with this question, "Does this action make me a potential for a Lifetime Movie?" If the answer is yes, I forgo it. It's worked for me so far. I'm gonna have to let Avee remain ordinary.

Clint & Alicia: May I call you Alicia? :) Your comment inspired my last paragraph. I was flattered that you've been a lurker and delurked. And re you suggesting I be responsible for my own finances in this economy? Are you kidding me? I'm too big to fail. I'm waiting for my bailout.

S: Everytime I leave a room and they person has been nice and would just like some water when it's convenient, I think "I can do this!" Then I go into a room where there's things like gaping, or weeping, or infected wounds, or a serious lack of bathing skills and I realize i could NEVER do it. I don't even like my own kids when they smell.

S2: LOL!

CYM: Why I oughtta...
It's interesting, working right in the ED, I've found it to be quite different. The doctors seem to be the most compassionate and patient. Typically they have 7-10 rooms to a nurse's 2, so they are of course a lot more pressed for time. But I promise I'll never go to Med school. Ha!

Millie: "It's complicated". That's awesome.

Charlotte: The BED SHEETS!? Is nothing sacred!?

Kristi: Hi! You lurker you! I'm sure it doesn't count if you've like uh, watched my kids before, had dinner with me, know my last name, etc, etc. My mom's a lurker if that's the case! :)

Mikelene: Hmm, now that you ask---I realize I don't really like crackers that much. I prefer the hard stuff. Doritos, cheetos, etc. I think survival in the medical field does require the ability to block things out. Doesn't make you insensitive, just makes you able to work. I think it's a common sentiment, all bets are off when it's a child.

Plain Jame said...

I have a very similar reaction to hospital situations... I worked in admitting and also in xray, and it was definitely the admitting that brought out the WORST in me.
I could ellaborate, but I think it would make me sound like a heinous person, so I'll stop at that.

I love that Avee let you know the scissors were not up to par by whispering in your ear. Usually my kids talk at a high octave at a high volume, telling me they're "starving" and need some breakfast...

CoconutKate said...

No contacts would have me teary eyed too. I'm trying to be better at commenting on blogs I read but really, I'm not that good at it so usually I erase and walk away. Or I read the other comments and think "they've already said what I was going to" and leave without even trying. So there you go. I may lurk some more and I might not who knows? I'm feeling pretty chatty so...?

Sarah Tilley said...

i'm sure there are graduating degrees of being f'ed up, like freaking f'ed up is better than being f'ing f'ed up.

still, it's sad that there are so many people in the world who are lonely and messed up. you're awesome for seeing people as they really are: somebody's kid.

lucky for me henry hates haircuts, so he's only cut a shirt and a pair of underwear with the scissors.

and yes, i had a mullet when i was twelve or thirteen. on purpose.

Mycurlyhairdays said...

Missed you at church. Did you get the book from J? I gave it to him for you.
Sad to think that there are people out there all alone. That is sad and hard to think about.
Oh scissors! SO scary! But maybe Avee will become a hair dresser!

Heffalump said...

I think the world would be a better place if everyone could look at others and see someone's child there.

Ah...the cutting of hair. It's like a childhood rite of passage isn't it?

No Cool Story said...

How can you make me teary eyed :'( and laugh :D in the very same post?

It's like you gots magic or something.

My Diary said...

Nobody, You are my favorite. I look every day through all my blogs to read and rush down or up as the case may be to find you. You are a kindred spirit. Love your guts girl.

Tori :) said...

Sometimes I wanna say "I'm pretty freakin' effed up" too. That's a funny way of putting it.
I couldn't be a nurse, cop, 911 operator, counselor... anything where you have to stuff your feelings down in your gut instead of crying with the person I would not be good at.

omar said...

Thinking of people as someone else's kid would totally ruin p0rn.

omar said...

I can't! I wanted that to be my only comment, but I can't do it. I tried. Then at the 10 second mark, I had to start typing again.

Avee can cut hair, Danyo's already a TV star. You hit the jackpot with these kids.

Nobo said...

Omar, you're a big chicken. As big of a chicken as Tori, who dared to call my kid a brat.

portuguesa nova said...

I never wrote back because at some point in an e-mail volley, I tend to get way too into it and save something as a draft and never return, but when I was on the verge of visiting the QC and we had a maybe-possibly-we'll meet up in mind and you gave me the rundown on your children, I was bowled over by in such a palpable manner you were able to convey in three paragraphs you conveyed how much you love them, and then you somehow wove in a little "but the mother/daughter thing is special". The haircutting reminded me of all of this. Avee for President!

Sarah said...

I may not comment either all the time but I swear baba your the only blog I read, your the only blog I need, your the best blog ever, your a beautiful blog, nobody blog forever *wink wink

Klin said...

No. They don't stop being someone else's child as long as you still have compassion and care for others. When you are hard enough to not care that can change.

I started tearing up as I read.

Avee's got mad hair cutting skillz. I think I woulda bolted out of bed, too, only prolly much slower than you did. I'm older :P

I thought you were naming anonymous "segway." Doh!

Beckie said...

I need Avee to cut my hair! tell her I will give her 5 dollars to do it.
Everyone needs to feel loved, what a wonderful thing you did by complementing that man's handwriting! Nobo, you are a saint.

Andrea said...

Ok.. I'm a lurker. I just can't help it. You make me laugh. cry. think.
I feel like my comment has to be as witty/ intelligent as your post.. and hence the no comment.
I too thought anon name was segway. lol.
Thanks for the great blog.

The Preschool Teacher said...

Those people stay with you forever. I used to do that kind of work as well.

Sketchy said...

Too bad Avery's got skills, you could have totally used that one as a lesson in consequences...oh well there's always next time.

Your people stories made me cry. This is why when I went back to work I went to the tax industry, I never cry there. Maybe in frustration, but not in empathy.