Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Iowa Makes Me A Bad Mom

Let me be clear, I don't believe in griping about where you live. I'm a believer in blooming where you are planted.

I do a pretty good job of this. But I can't be forced to embrace this weather. I hate it. And because this is the only place I've lived that it has been this awful, I can't help but blame it on Iowa.

I'd blame it on the rain, but it's not falling.

My kids are going crazy. Danyo brings me a pair of shoes and his coat about 12 times a day. He just wants to go outside. But he can't. Because he can't function with frozen nose hairs and numb fingers and a burning cold nose. Plus, he can't really walk that well in Avee's snow boots that are on the wrong feet. Yeah, I helped. What of it?

Avee hasn't noticed that we haven't been outside in months. Mostly because you can't plug in movies when you are outside. And pink glittery shoes aren't all that great on ice.

How does this make me a bad mom?
I don't know, but the evidence is aplenty.

My kids are annoying and obnoxious and I don't really like them.

They make messes that I'm sick of cleaning up, but that is ten times better than the alternative of getting them to clean up. How many times a day can one person say, "I didn't ask you if you did it, I just asked you to clean it up!"?

I don't want to clean my house anymore either because it all just gets undone. Practically within seconds of it getting clean. Which is just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Aside from the people who change the bed sheets in a delivery room, I can't think of any other job that feels like everything you do becomes immediately undone. Oh, I lied. The job of getting me skinny. That too becomes immediately undone in mere seconds. Brownie, anyone?

So, this post wasn't really supposed to be about my suburban woes.

Yes it was. Just not these particular woes.

Something is up with Bo. And it really could be as simple as, he's just tired. But I've decided that the best use of my time is to obsess over it, create an entire blog post about it, and drag it out as much as I can.

Because I don't have anything else to do. And you don't actually stick to the floor that long when you walk across my kitchen.

Bo is 5 and a half. He has a victim complex and has since the day he was born. I don't mean that as an insult, but I really don't know how else to put it. When he was a tot and would trip while he was walking, he'd immediately look at us and glare and clearly be wondering why we pushed him. It's never his fault. He also has APP disorder. It's "ANNOYING PERSISTENT PESSIMISM" disorder. Maybe you've heard of it?

A few examples:
J took him to the children's museum one Saturday morning, where he had an absolute blast. Afterwards J took him to Mickey D's for lunch. Which is a treat, right? I had my first happy meal when I was 17. Well, I stayed at home and ate slept played on Facebook took care of Danyo cleaned. Bo came flailing through the door and threw himself on the couch with a wail. He had an awful time, it was a horrible day, everything was so dumb. All because he didn't get to go to Wendy's.

Now typically, I agree. McD's instead of Wendy's is depressing.


This kind of stuff is VERY typical. One minor thing that isn't even really all that bad, will make him see EVERYTHING as very bad. And usually I have the patience to talk him through it, but I keep waiting for one day when he'll get through it on his own, but it hasn't happened. And we've been doing this dance for close to 3 years now. I don't know how to teach him that things aren't always perfect and he needs to roll with the punches more.

Or that there are 19 other kids in his class that aren't getting picked to do something at the exact same moment he isn't getting picked.

So these things are Bo. They are who he's been pretty consistently his whole life. And I am aware that there may be a problem of him being too spoiled, so I need to reassess some things there.

But lately, he's been...well....crazy.

When he's asked to hang up his coat after school---something he does EVERY day and knows is a standard procedure, he loses it.

The same thing for brushing teeth, coming to the table for dinner, washing hands before dinner, putting on pajamas, closing the door after he's come inside, putting away toys or books, not being allowed/able to play the Wii exactly when he wants, etc.

Now, you may think "crazy" is a little extreme.

Let me show you what I mean. Wherever he is, he scrunches up his face in this horrible way and it immediately goes red, he stands up if he isn't already and then loses the ability to control his arms, but not to be defeated by that, he uses his torso to fling them about wildly. And then he runs in a stilted, stomping, insane looking "run" to the furthest point of the room from wherever he's standing. During this run, there is an escalating moan/howl/squeal/whine that ends with a shriek, punctuated by throwing himself onto something. Hopefully, for him, it's something soft. But not always. The closet door, the stairs and once the bathroom sink---all unpleasant landing spots.

Now. When I say things like, "would you like to brush your teeth first or put on your pajamas first?" he does this.

Once he did it when I said, "What do you want for dinner?" Halfway through, he realized that it was a question he probably wouldn't mind answering, but it was too late, he was on autopilot and had to finish. As soon as he was done, he immediately turned back to me and said, "I thought you were going to say something else. Can we have pizza rolls and no vegetable?"

Every night he wants someone to lay with him. Usually he can be reasoned with on this kind of thing. For example, if we have company, or the baby is still awake, or the house is obviously a mess. Or Medium is on---I can explain that it's not possible, and he'll be okay. But now, there is no reasoning with him. He cries hysterically and relentlessly. Another thing he rarely does.

I get the wanting someone to lay with him. I was the same way as a child, so I'm willing to indulge him in that (usually J does the indulging, so I'm totally being a glory hog here, but it is my blog and it's not like he'll ever get this far in the post to even notice, right?) but sometimes it is just not possible. Last night, Danyo was up having a fit, J was gone until midnight, Avee was prancing around the tops of furniture in her room, claiming to not be tired, and it just wasn't feasible to lay with him. He would not be put off.

We knew J had to work until midnight on Monday, so I packed up the kids and we went and had dinner with him. Bo literally cried and sulked the entire meal, as he sat next to J for over an hour, because J wasn't going to be home before he had to go to bed.

I know kids go through phases. I suspect he's tired. I also suspect that he's a bit spoiled. And I suspect that he's bored at school. I don't know if that factors in, I just suspect it based on the schoolwork he's bring home, and his willingness to go every day.

It could really be all about being stir crazy and these ridiculous winters here.

And it could not be.

And since I've gotten some great insights in the past from writing on this here blog, I bring my woes to you again.



InkMom said...

E-mail me so I can e-mail you. I'm serious.

megachick said...

hmm, pooka has the same APP disorder. many of the same other symptoms as bo, also pretty much since she was born. she turned 7 last week. no insight here, just commiseration. good luck.

Howertons in Iowa said...

I have no answers for you, I am going through the same things. So when you find out what to do, you MUST share!
I also suspect, that WE (me and you) are long over due for OUR brownies. Friday -my place! Bring the little ones, we can leave them outside to jump on the trampoline wearing their wrong feeted boots and sparkly shoes. It'll be great. Promise!

Heffalump said...

You will probably think that this advice sucks, but here it is anyway...
Sometimes ignoring is the best way to get the message across that a certain behavior isn't working. Not saying you ignore Bo totally, but when he is throwing a fit, any time you respond to that, it is giving him attention. Trying to reason with it is giving him attention and for some kids, any attention feeds some need, it doesn't have to be good attention.
My advice is to praise him when he is doing the right things, and ignore the tantrums unless he is causing someone bodily harm. When you do have to respond, do it as minimally as possible, as in physically keep him from hurting someone else or breaking things, but don't say anything. Saying something opens the topic up for debate.
This is not easy advice to follow. I know because I still struggle to follow it, but eventually (it may take a long time and a lot of practice) Bo will learn that certain behaviors aren't getting him any results and he may change tactics.
I hope this makes sense...

jenj22 said...

We just moved away from Iowa and I totally agree with you about the horrible winter weather. It sucks. I don't miss the length of it but I do miss seeing and playing in the snow. But it would only take be about two days to get over that. My 5 year old does some of this too. But she doesn't seem to do it for anyone but me. No problems at school. So I think I'm going to have to go into tough love mode and let her know I'm not going to have it. Really I don't know if you figure out anything let me know.

InkMom said...

Forgot this part. My neighbor is from Michigan and she sends her 5 boys outside no matter what the weather. Well, if I had 5 boys that I homeschooled (all 8 and under) I might send them outside in any weather, too, but I mean, come on -- it's 10 degrees with a windchill of -6 outside today and they want to play in the sprinklers! Not really. But I wouldn't be surprised. So instead my kids sit at the window in the living room and stare longingly at their peers who I swear must be popsicles on the inside even without the weather. Crazy. But not for my little munchkins. They will stay warm, toasty and miserable inside lest I should feel guilty of encouraging frostbite.

mary ann said...

Nobody, our oldest boy Will has been in the same boat. We first noticed it at about four and he's eight now. Two things come to mind: first is the kids' section in a book called _Learned Optimism_ which gives you a couple of questions to ask Bo 2-3 times a day. These will help to deal with the victim mentality and help it not to get worse as he grows older. The other one is that we're taking ours to a child psychologist right now (called the 'happy doctor' at our house). Will has a great time there and it's helped the Professor to learn some new parenting techniques (nothing new for me -- I guess Rob hasn't read so many parenting Q&A and behavior sections . . .). But it is getting a little better. You're right on to work on it now; doctors keep telling us that it is possible to change it now, but if we wait . . . too late. E-mail me if you have questions. MA

My Diary said...

He sounds tired. Poor guy, but more so poor you. I hope that this phase of life ends soon and you are on to an easier one.

My Diary said...

Ok here is what I do with my over dramitic children. If they start to whine or cry, I tell them they must be tired and to go to bed. Then I send them to bed for a while. I come in and say, are you well rested and done throwing a fit. Yup they say. Then you can get up, if you cry again You will need to sleep again. Now they either dont throw fits or stop immediately when it sounds like you are tired. Works like a charm with my kids. The key as always is consistency.
Some times I say you have 10 seconds to pull it together or I will know you are just tired and cant help yourself and you will need to take a quick nap to help you feel better.

Try it, it works.

ucmama said...

5 year-old little boys are not my favorite. It does get better. M doesn't throw himself around anymore.

Beckie said...

There might be something going on at school that he just doesn't want to talk about. Zach bottles things up and we practically have to treaten his life before he will tell us. Start digging and asking questions with him and with his teacher. If there is a behavioral change there is usually a reason why.

Plain Jame said...


Having children made me a bad mom.

I like your reasonings better. Although it's totally false and we all know you're a wonderful well-suited mother, you are entitled to this post.

Not that you needed me to tell ya that. Because I, unlike your mother, will have the least credibility to any advice I offer up.
You are so quick witted, you always come up with something. Maybe change the brand of milk you drink?

see, dont say I didn't warn you.

Bryner Family said...

This sounds familiar. I agree that he most likely needs some more sleep (that works wonders for my kids' behavior!), he is probably a little spoiled (how can we not do what our kids want, they are so precious... but sometimes it comes back to bite us), and I think it's very normal for this age. I've worked hard at convincing my kids that things they get to do or get to eat (like eating out), etc. are privileges and they better appreciate them or they will go away! Like, "Oh you didn't like McDonald's? Ok, well I guess you better just eat at home from now on." Stuff like that usually gets my kids apologizing and snapping out of their hissy fits. I totally agree with MyDiary about telling them they must need sleep when they throw those fits. It has worked wonders with Jill and Miranda. I try to show a little sympathy and convince them they're lacking sleep. They snap out of it fast! Good luck! I've never had a boy but my girls have shown some of these same behaviors. Parenting is so hard. :)

Barnecked Lady said...

We have the same problem with number one boy, it comes and goes though, so I can you usually handle it. Once we were at sea world and he was sulking and complaining and saying it was boring, just because he saw a ride on the map that look like it might not be fun. He is getting better though each year as he matures and can realize that life is not always perfect. The other night at dinner he said he couldn't eat because he was bored. WHAT!?!?! He had just gotten home from the movies with a friend. For my #1 son, I feel like he does this to get attention at times, or that he might have been a little spoiled at times, but I do see him getting better each year. He is finally starting to listen to us and our advice and actually follow it. It's hard to know what goes on in their little minds. He also went through the same thing with laying by him and whatnot, during those times we have made charts to get us through, like go to bed on your own without anyone laying by you charts etc. lol. It helps for him. So good luck and hang in there! By the way, I would love a brownie!

Rebecca said...

sound like you need a this is what a really sucky day is like.. we do that here about every few years when the kids get whiney and ungrateful.. spend the entire day with a container of clorox wipes going to town on each room, and when they were finished we moved on to another room, all never ended till it was time for bed.. then I explained thats was a bad day is like, and what a mean mom is like.. makes cleaning up a few toys sound fun.. but beckie is right.. check at school..find out if its something else.. and sticker charts work like magic too!!! Good luck.. this too shall pass!!

MommyJ said...

I feel your pain... I have an over the top much too much drama the world ends when even one thing is a little off kilter kid too... though I'm not sure to such an extent. I will say that from my experience, there are absolutely times when the problem and the behavior the problem creates are sometimes totally unrelated, so keep your ears and eyes open for any possible triggers...

the fact you can even write an entire post about your worries means you are a good mom.

and AMEN to all the stuff you wrote about cleaning and having it undone. Sigh.

I love my job... but sometimes it makes me very, very tired.

rychelle said...

Good luck with that one!!! I have no remedys. Will stopped eating unless it is sugar!!!

omar said...

I was told that this sort of thing doesn't happen once they turned four.

I've generally got no advice for you, since Bo's a year and change older than my oldest. If you've got any tips for selective mutism though, feel free to send them my way.

Mikelene said...

Lots of good advice from everyone else! Not really sure what to say. My 9.5 y.o. is the drama queen (nothing is ever her fault) at our house--always has been. Maybe it's the stir-craziness of a freezing cold winter. I try my best to ignore the tantrums. And listen to the girls when they talk about school & all the friendship dramas. Let them "air their grievances" so to speak. Sometimes a nap is all it takes for an attitude change. Mine are nearing the teen years, so maybe it's all hormonal? I don't know. Oh! And I've been telling them since they were 3 or so that I don't speak whinese.
And having all your cleaning undone? That made me think of Mr. Incredible: "Hey! Didn't I just clean this place up?!"

Emily said...

my advice: move back to Texas.

Your description of Bo "losing it" is way too real. I totally thought you were talking about Isaac for a minute. . .

You are an amazingly perceptive mom. And yes, I'm guessing being bored at school and crappy weather have more to do with it than you think.

No Cool Story said...

"I'm a believer in blooming where you are planted."

This is why I live in the gorgeous Pacific NW. I'm a'blooming!

No Cool Story said...

Ok, now I read it all.

I was serious when I said my kids were perfect angels when they were little, they virtually gave me no problems whatsoever: no whining, tantruming, in fact, they'd even behave perfectly during Sacrament -no toys, coloring, books or nuthin' they were that good-, so I am a bit at a loss on what to say(just like I was yesterday) other that "sorry, that sounds hard".

The only thing I do know is that they have these weird stages that they go through. He's a pretty smart little boy for his age, but he's still a little boy and maybe all that thinking he has going on makes him very frustrated :(

Everyone has given excellent advice. I know for a fact you are an awesome mom and Iowa can't make you bad because you are too good to ever be bad. EVER DUDE!

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.
Or Namby Pambies.

No Cool Story said...


Physcokity said...

I concur with Heff. Ignorance is bliss! If you "ignore" the bad behavior it's usually squelched the moment they realize they aren't getting what they want (read: attention). I've had to do this in the past when watching other people's kids.

Her suggestion is much better than mine which is bundle the kids up, put them out back and tell them they can't come in for twenty minutes...or at least until they've made ten laps around the yard. YAY for PE jk ;)

They call me the drill sergeant hehe

Physcokity said...

Danyo of course would be the exception to that rule. I know it's cold, but that just means they burn up more energy trying to stay warm right? ;)

I feel your pain, and if I haven't I don't doubt that one day I probably spades.

Hang in there I know you can do it! You're the mom for a reason.

Code Yellow said...

OK. First I'm going to admit something...I haven't read all 24 comments. So, sorry if this is repeat and sorry for not being THAT dedicated to your blog this morning. :)

I would just like to say...everything about Iowa, ditto for Ukraine. Including that when you do go out, there are lots of people who don't speak real English and that can be real frustrating. Oh. You didn't say that part. But I know. Except at least here they go to school no matter what. There's nothing else to do. Also, they take winter dressing seriously. Which no one in the continental US does. Those two things help with winter immensely.

But I digress.


Oldest child. I know there's only so much you can attribute to birth order, but some things commonly surface for unknown reasons, even with a parent's effort to counteract them. APP and victimness go with oldest children a lot.

5 1/2. Cal has been throwing himself on the floor over hanging up his coat and putting his snow pants away. And going to bed. It's like the last (i hope) hurrah for tantrum throwing before becoming a bona fide big kid. The magic words of parenting: It's a phase.

Spoiled? I'm pretty sure you are incapable of spoiling a child. You have a great sense of balance that way. I'm also pretty sure Bo is not spoiled. I know a spoiled kid when I see one. :) On the other hand, a little spoiling is not a bad thing. Everyone needs to feel sometimes that they are the one and only for a few minutes. That's not a bad thing. It's natural and it lends security (which in turn helps them not feel like the only one out when they are not picked for a turn or whatever in other situations.)

Rather than the ignoring approach (which I also believe in), for the bedtime thing especially, I'd take a "Taming the Shrew" approach. Cal was to pieces about NEVER getting snuggled anymore (he's on the top bunk!!! How in the world am I supposed to feel OK getting on the top bunk?!) so I started snuggling him and pillow talking and snooky wookying him until one night he said, "Mom, I'm OK now. You can go now so I can go to sleep." I felt so rejected, but that's mostly been the end of it.

And that's my two bits. Hang in there. He's a fine boy and he's going to be OK in the world. The only worry is you coming out of it sane. Ah, motherhood. :)

Carrot Jello said...

You are overwhelmed.
The best advice can come from praying. Sorry commenters.

Cindy said...

Maybe J's schedule is throwing him off a little? I dunno!!

Cyndi said...

Sounds so familiar!! I'm at my wits end with Andrew. I just started a book called "Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child" which is promising to be very helpful in dealing with those behaviors. I'll let you know if the methods work for us.

Tori :) said...

Sounds to me like he's a total brat.

Tori :) said...

I was totally kidding- because I knew I could with you. I don't think he's a brat. I think it may be the age. Taj doesn't throw quite the same fit, but everything is ruined by ONE little thing. It's ridiculous. I don't have any advice, but if you want the twins to be together I could send Taj up...


No Cool Story said...

Have I told you this one before?

My stepdad (Bill) was a bit spoiled as a child. Anytime anyone would point that out, his mom would say "Yup, and that's the way we like him".

ITA with Code Yellow, Nobody can't spoil a child. You love those kids too much which happens to be the right amount.

The End.

Mycurlyhairdays said...

First, I want to say, the weather is makine me a bad mommy. Chach about died when I informed her that she wouldn't be watching tv this morning. To get anything done, I have had to employ the tv to teach my children the wonders of the universe! So I am working on that.
Second, poor J and Nobo and all the kids for having daddy working late. That is really rough on everyone!
Third, I would talk to his teacher to just check on what's up at school. Just in case. It sounds like you have a great repore with her and she could keep an eye out. It wouldn't hurt, anyway.
And forth, you can spoil a child. I think there are different levels of spoiling and I just try to keep it above the "entitled to have everyone worship me and give me all their stuff" level. We all know that our children are little preshies sent from Above and they need to know that, too. We just need to keep a balance.
Hang in there, we are all ready for better weather and I think that the kids can sense that.

Sarah Tilley said...

when henry acted similarly (though bo sounds a bit more extreme) i just told him that i understood that he was angry/upset, that it was okay to feel that way, but that the crazy behavior was unacceptable. if he wanted to go nuts he could go to his room and be by himself, or he could calm down and talk about it. when he's calm he gets hugs and attention, when he's crazy he gets nothing but a trip to his room. so far so good.

Methodical Wormer said...

You NEED to go get the book "Parenting the Ephraim's Child" like, right now. I just started reading it not too long ago. It has been amazingly helpful. A lot of your frustrations I've noticed with Bo and Avee are directly addressed in the book and how to deal with it. Go buy it now. I'm not kidding, now!

Klin said...

How many times a day can one person say, "I didn't ask you if you did it, I just asked you to clean it up!"? I'm pretty sure that I say it at least 17 times a day and that's an average.

Now about Bo. You are his mom. You are a good mom and are VERY in tune with your kids. You know best what he needs and it will eventually come to you as to what he is dealing with. I know this because you are thinking about it, posting about it, and seeking answers. They will come. I like Carrot's advice.

You do have lots of other suggestions to try as well.

Now send him outside to play. To quote Bella in Eclipse, "Nobody really needs all 10 fingers and toes."

If you don't see an improvement or have a satisfactory solution (as judged by you) email me. We will figure this out.

swampbaby said...

I feel your pain. Both from the weather and from your 5-year-old son. I can relate to both and it sucks! I wish I knew the right answers.

Anonymous said...

How can you sit there and bad mouth your own child? Mu God do you really hate him that much that you devote an entire about how awful he is. Do you understand that millions of people would LOVE to be parents to a child any child yes even your probem child. I hope to God he never reads what you write about him. My heart is breaking for him. Dose your husband also hate him? I can't imagine feeling so much hate toward any of my children.

So the weather sucks, pack up the kids and take a vacation somewhere warm, go to the mall and play at the indoor play grounds. Why sit in the house and piss an moan all day? I mean really your an adult make the situation better. Oh thats right you probally wouldnt want to take your son. Maybe he can stay with loving grandparents.

This post of yours really makes me sad.

Praying for your son to find peace and love somewhere then at home.

Nobody said...


I got my first troll.

I can't even describe how exciting this is for me. In nearly three years--this is my first real one.

Thank you Anonymous. Thank you for referring to my oldest child as a "problem child". I think you were accusing me of that, I think, but I can't be sure. But WOOHEEE! In all your righteous indignation, you failed to notice that in a million years I would never do that to a child of mine.

But, there are other issues too.
You assume I'm an adult. What is THAT about?
I only know how to "piss and moan" it would be breaking a lifelong habit of WHO I AM and I really don't think kids are worth that kind of effort

I HAVE packed up the kids and taken them to a germ infested nasty ol' indoor playground. But I didn't take HIM! Are you kidding me? He's such a problem.

Please keep praying for my son. Perhaps "Mu God" will tell you in all your holiness, that you will never find a more adored child on the face of this earth.

p.s. I tried to "dose my husband" once as you suggested. Apparently that's illegal. Keep praying us. We have so many more issues than the ones I blog about. Oh, no we don't. Who am I kidding!?

Mikelene said...

Now I am laughing. Not b/c of the post, but b/c of your response to anon's comment. :) Thanks.

Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tori :) said...

Who's Mu God? Is this some new religion or is it your secret nickname Nobody?
Sheesh Anonymous- if you're gonna leave a comment like that at least PROOFREAD it. Or maybe you did. In that case... you are stupid.

Lisa said...

My youngest was a tantrum thrower, but not when she was anticipating what I might say. That Is crazy! But I am a mom that will send the tantrum kid to their bed until they can return to the family without the hysterics. I even had to do this one night this week with that same kid who is almost 12. I think some kids are born with that "my life sucks". And funny, she wants me to lay with her (she is again-almost 12) when she goes to bed, we have to remind her that her life is Awesome! And I even have asked her to write down good things from her day. The day she had the melt down she came up with 3. He is so smart that it's hard to remember they are still kids. Sleep is huge-hopefully you are all getting some. And I have lived in Erie where the snow was relentless. It is totally depressing and maybe it is affecting him, too. Hang in there!

Lisa said...

I just read someones comment about "Learned Optimism" (that looks weird?). Anyway, I think I bought this book. One thing I have noticed with my older daughter, who is a pretty bright kid, is that the emotional and social skills tend to be lacking when they are that smart. Bo is smart. He may lack some social/emotional skills. I tried to read those types of books, but I am not that great of a mother. Instead, I just buy them and pretend I've done my job. Anyway, I would bet some of his behavior really does have to do with boredom and his smartness. My older daughter needs to be reminded to be social and to have fun and that her life is pretty amazing.

Okay, I will move on now and stop pretending I am a doctor or some sort of expert.

Plain Jame said...

First of all, I love that your blog is nearly shrine to your children, showcasing EACH one of them. THATS love. My blog is about ME; my kids are secondary there. BWAHAHAH!

Second, heard of "by their fruits ye shall know them"? Your son is an intelligent, witty, loving little boy and that says alot about who he comes from.

Third, having a "day" or a "moment" and venting about a frustration you have with a child in NO WAY means that they are a problem child, and the NORMAL people in the world get that.

Sarah Tilley said...


ucmama said...

Tori, I think Mu God is some kind of Thai dish. It's made with coconut milk. Try it - it's divine!

ucmama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mommydew said...

I was blog hopping when I came across your blog. Holy funny! Anyway, I was going to just mention that I had a good friend (a real one and not just a cover for meaning myself) that her son at 5 was just horrible/unbearable. She kept thinking maybe he was just tired. So she took him to have a sleep test and it turned out he had sleep apnea. They took his adenoids out and she said it was like night and day. His behavior improved dramatically. He finally started getting good sleep and it made all the difference.

The Queen said...

OMG..Ok I totally love that you reacted right here in comments to any o mouse...

When someone has that much to say.. YOu would think they would want to claim their words... but.. no..

So.. whatcha gonna do?

Sketchy said...

I say ignore it or laugh. The 2 absolute opposites of what response he is really wanting. I always veered to the ignoring response and my husband the laughing, and I can see his point, little kids can be hilarious in their fits if you step back and really watch them.

But what you absolutely cannot do is give in or admit annoyance at the behavior. And as soon as his behavior switches to something more reasonable you have to Super Mommy him, snuggles and kisses and catering to his every need.

He's a smart kid, he'll figure it out. That this, that this form of manipulation isn't working and switch to another kind.

Man, that darned Anonymous ruined my perfectly wonderful insight. You probably won't even come back and read this now.

Sketchy said...

Heffalump and I went to the same Mommy school.

Sketchy said...

That first "That this" was supposed to be "That is" please don't brilliantly mock my poor grammar skills like Anonymous's.

Charlotte said...

Great response to Anonymous.

When my kids get out of hand we use push ups. My 4 year old can do them and my 2 year old is tries. And my older kids are push up machines (if this winter weather really keeps up for another 5 weeks they are going to be able to start one handed ones).