I Don't Even Warn You When I Change The Subject

Fair warning: If you are looking for coherent, cohesive, and/or meaningful, this isn't the place today.

I got this email yesterday: "I'm bored. Please blog." I'm blogging, but I apologize in advance it's not going to help your boredom.

I hate bananas but I buy them every time I go to the store. It's almost compulsive how I buy them. I don't want my kids to hate them because I think they are nutritious and a nice totable snack, they shouldn't miss out on it. But I think they are disgusting.

I do not understand why children talk so loud. Bo is at the table making a paper clip be a ballerina. That's harmless enough, but the "ballerina" is yelling "I'm a balloh-weena lalalalala!"
Why?

Lately Avee has been having some frustrations. I remember Bo going through this stage. He would get in trouble and get sent to his room and he'd be so angry and frustrated, but not really have the words to express it. So he would go up about 3 steps, turn and do this lovely combination: Scream, yell the word stupid or shut up, the worst words he could think of, then yell again, and then a heartfelt "thpppppppppp". If we were lucky, there'd be another scream. This little combination would take milliseconds. It was quite a talent. Fortunately he was up the stairs after he finished because it always made me laugh.

Well, now Avee's doing it. But it's just a shrill, long, loud scream. And just seconds after she starts, she realizes she doesn't like the consequences that come with her screaming, and she gets a charming smile (mid-scream), then stops short and says, "Oopths, sawy Mom, I didn't know I did that. I didn't know I screamed."

Huh? It doesn't matter how nonsensical this girl is, she believes in herself so much, she knows it will all work for her.

Bo has told me no less than 8 times since yesterday after school about a kid in his class that exclaimed "GEEZ!" out loud. He pretty much thinks it's the funniest word he's ever heard.

I guess he's never ticked off my mom.

Speaking of my mom. I talked to her other day and she confessed to me that she is addicted to watching Days of Our Lives. This in and of itself is quite remarkable. In some ways, it's so different from the woman who raised me. We didn't own a tv the entire time I lived in my parent's home. On the other hand, it's not too shocking. Now she has her shows, and watches them faithfully, and refers to the characters as though they are her neighbors and best friends. "Well, Jim Bob had that problem with the raccoons until he had that heart attack and Doc (Aka Billy Ray Cyrus) saved his life, and then showed him how to get rid of coons."

My favorite though was, "Well, I know a man who opened his car door and someone drove by and tore that door right off!"

"Mom, that was an episode of Touched By an Angel."

"Oh yeah. That's right. But it could still happen so always close your car door quickly!"

Anyway. The best part is, she asked me to start watching it too so she could have someone to talk to about it. Apparently my SIL watches it now and then, but she doesn't want to bug her all the time.

I'm kind of excited. I've only ever watched bits and pieces of Soap Operas. I like to switch between two or three, and watch how almost seamlessly the dialogues blend together. I guess I can watch an entire one and get about as much entertainment.

Speaking of entertainment--this morning I took the neighbor boys to school. Typically I take my son, the 8 year old boy next door, and then my friend's children. And she in turn, brings Bo home in the afternoon. As well as the 8 year old neighbor boy. I've mentioned them in the past. Well behaved, polite, decent kids with a mom I've seen less than 5 times since we've moved here. And I may have mentioned that 8 year old is not the sharpest tool in the shed. In a way that is downright hilarious to me most days.

So, we're all in the van, and I'm taking the 13 year old to his school and so he's sitting next to me. I say, "Buckle up everyone" and 8 year old doesn't do it. I say, "8YearOld, buckle up please." And this conversation ensues.

8YearOld: We're only going to be in the car for a minute probably
Me: It only takes a minute to get into a car accident.
Older Brother: Or less. 8YearOld, you always wear your seat belt, not matter how long you are in the car. Have you forgotten about Dad?
8YearOld: Oh yeah. That's right. He only has one leg and one eye.

This is where I lost it. He said it with such defeat, and so matter-of-factly.

Older Brother turned to me and said, "Well, he has two eyes, he just can't see out of one of them."

I spent the entire trip to school looking out my window because I could not stop laughing.