Saturday, December 27, 2008

Poop, Strep, Pho, Felons

Yuh know, three more days of vacation after Christmas wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Granted, there was lots of laying around and sleeping in---on my part, and that's not typically feasible on regular days. BUT. Changing 5000 diapers, giving Danyo 3-4 baths a day, changing sheets twice a day, and the smell, oh the SMELL...that's not my idea of a great time.

Today Avee has strep throat. Turns out she's more like her dad than me. She says things like, "I'm hot" and she has a blazing temperature of 103.2. She says, "My froat kinda hurts" and it's totally swollen and covered in white spots. She says, "I feel sleepy" and falls asleep on the couch several times and then sleeps in until 11 am.

If I had any of those symptoms, they'd be hearing about it in Kiev.

I started to spend the better part of my day in an urgent care waiting room. I would become one of those people, like, from my job. I was filled with all kinds of cognitive dissonance sitting in that waiting room even though I knew I needed to be there. There was a 2 and a half hour wait and I had to work in 3 hours. And my poor little pookie-poo wanted to be held. While I stood up. By the doors. With my itchy coat off. She isn't a complainer, but she comes demanding in every color.

While waiting, and catering to sick Avee, wishing there was some other way, I suddenly remembered that we have a "connection" and I could avoid that blasted waiting room. I called J and he worked that connection while I took Avee home to change out of her jeans and shirt, back into her princess sundress.

Bo had wanted to go hang out with us at the doctor's office, but I didn't let him come. So, when I had to leave again to get the antibiotic, he was in that car in no time. It was glorious. Within an hour of leaving the waiting room where I thought I was doomed to be all afternoon, I was home with antibiotics, bananas, avocados, Zelda, three bowls of Pho, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Avee had asked for french fries and chicken nuggets and I was going to indulge her. But then I realized it was a perfect day for Pho. But I am the nicest mom in the universe and I let Avee choose. She picked Pho.

Bo has been a little frustrated with Guitar Hero because, well, because he stinks. And because his hands are too small. He's a pretty good sport, but it's just not the best gift for him. So we decided to get him Zelda, a game he knows and loves. I was going to pick it up while getting Avee's antibiotics, and surprise Bo. So now that he was going with me, I had fun building up the suspense for where we were going. The game store is right next to Walmerts, so I was going to get Avee's Rx at Walgreens, swing by Walmerts and get avocados for J's killer guac, and then go to the game store. But on the way to Walgreens I passed my favorite little grocery store and said to Bo, "I'm going to go in here and get avocados instead of going to Walmerts."

He asked why. I answered, "Because that Walmerts is disgusting and if I can avoid it, I will."

I believe I offended him. He said, "That's mean mom. Don't say that about Walmerts!" I was amused by his response. And I said, "Well, it is!" because I always have the best comebacks evoh.

So, Bo forgave me, or at least moved on and we started talking about America being the...wait, about how much "Amewica wocks". Yeah, I'm his mom and it took me a good 15 seconds to figure out what "wocks" means.

We have the coolest flag, and we have Barack Obama. China is cool, but the flag is boring. And Vietnam totally wocks. Actually, China wocks too. You know why Vietnam wocks? That's where Pho is made. And his bunkbed.

The game store was in a strip mall with a Payless, Sally's, Subway, and a hair cutting place. I told Bo what all of those stores were, to make him guess. He was resigned to a sandwich being his "surprise" when I took him into the game store.

And since we were right there I couldn't help but go into Walmerts and check their avocado selection. At my favorite store they were not quite ripe enough. So we dashed inside. They were the same, not ripe enough. But I bought some anyway because they were only 78 cents each.

As we were leaving, Bo acknowledged loudly, as we passed by a whole slew of Walmert shoppers, (without making any connection) "Yeah, you're right mom, this sto' is disgusting, it smells pwetty bad."

Did I laugh out loud? Oh yes I did. Did my face flush red? Oh yes it did. Was I technically embarrassed? Probably. But mostly happy because he said, "You're right mom."

Bo asked to be dropped off at home while I got the Pho. That Zelda game was burning a hole in his wii wee little hands. I told him no. Then at the Pho Store Bo asked the man if he was from Vietnam. He said he was.

Was he born there?
Yes he was.

"THEN YOU CAN'T EVOH WUN FO' PWESIDENT LIKE BWAHK OBAMA!!!"

Fortunately English was not this man's first language, and unimpeded English is not my son's first language and this loud accusation was lost on our kind Pho maker.

On the way home we talked about "loudly pointing out the obvious" and "saying things that don't need to be said if they aren't going to make someone feel good" and also how it's good that the reason he can't run is only because he was born in Vietnam and not because he had committed a felony.

Of course, we don't actually know that for certain.

21 comments:

Howertons in Iowa said...

Bo is Frickin Hilarious!
Still laughing about the poor pho maker - I so wish I could have seen it!!
poor little Avee and OMG -so glad you didn't have to wait in urgency care - totally sucks. I will remember that you have a hook up for easy no waiting dr prescriptions, though. When whichever of my children decide to get sick next, they can become yours for the quick and easy service. :)That would be GREAT!
Nobody Rocks!

Klin said...

Bo is AWESOME!!! But you already knew that.

The guy that does my nails is from Vietnam. He agrees that "Amewica wocks" and even though he can't run from president he refused to vote for BWAHCK OBAMA! I just had to put that in there cause he is so cute. Smart. And stunning. Any kid that says, "You're right mom" is totally stunning.

So what are your plans for New Years? The flu? Hope the kids are feeling better.

Cindy said...

still laughing..with a little tears. Bo is so funny. I wonder where he gets it from. He is also dang smart. I think he will be president someday!!

InkMom said...

I would vote for him just because he has red hair, and I read somewhere that redheads will be bred out of existence in something ridiculous like 40 years . . . or something.

Mostly I'm commenting because, as I'm sure you've heard, I haven't been to that gross store in almost two years now. I had a TERRIBLE experience at the nice brand new one here in our town and haven't been back since. Except MommyJ made me go with her once but I didn't buy anything and I looked at MommyJ like I was tasting something bad the whole time we were in there. And made sure to tell her that I couldn't believe she would make me bend my principles like that. And that I must really love her or I wouldn't lower my standards so much.

But the downside is that I always pay more than 78 cents for my avocados.

Barnes Blog said...

Okay, for some reason this post was EXTREMELY hard for me to follow.
What the heck is Pho? I am totally lost!

Physcokity said...

LOL Thank you. Sorry to hear about sick kids. Bo has great stories. It cracks me up that Avee picked Pho of her own volition.

Sketchy said...

I was so waiting for the Felon tie-in through out the whole post and just when I'd given up as an alliteration anomoly (see what I did there? I have to point it out because secretly I'm very proud of my alliteration abilities and can not stand if someone misses it. I'm working on it.), bam! You came through for me Nobo.

Hope your babes are all feeling better with the magic of modern medicine. (ahem)

Bo can come with me to Walmerts. And I will even laugh with glee when he makes loud and rude comments.

Big Jay said...

Barnes,

Pho is vietnamese beef noodle soup. It is the most delicious food on the planet. It originated when the wimpy French first exerted their influence on Vietnam back in the 1800's. If you haven't tried it you should do yourself a favor.

-Big Jay

Code Yellow said...

I don't mind hearing about...er...symptoms...in Kiev. Any time, really.

But PHO? AND Jay's rockin' guac? You. Are. Killing. Me. A slow, painful death by mouthwatering. Seriously, I have no words. I can't even comment on Bo's extreme astuteness and cute little guitar-struggling hands because the sadness of being pho-evoh without pho is terrible. I hope you enjoyed it three times as much, for me. :)

aubrey said...

poor little avee. and i love how ava prays for barack obama every night. along with president monson and our bishop. kids are lovely. bo is cracking me up!

Heffalump said...

I hope everyone is back in good health soon!
I always get a chuckle out of reading your posts.

No Cool Story said...

5000 diapers?
Me thinks you are bending the truth just a little bit.

No Cool Story said...

Pho wocks.
The other (as I was enjoying a huge bowl of delicious Pho...with almost tears in my eyes) I almost called you to thank you.

Thank you dude for introducing me to pho.
Pho wocks.

omar said...

There were a few Ukrainian kids in my high school. From what I gather, there's not a log of English spoken in Kiev. They'd all hear your complaining and be like, "Що це значить?"

I've never had Pho, but I'd venture a guess based on its description that it's not the most delicious food on the planet. Maybe I'd believe that it's the most delicious soup, but even then... my grandma in-law's lobster bisque? A good New England clam chowder? I guess I just need to try this Pho stuff.

Tori :) said...

I'm still laughing at the "they'd be hearing about it in Kiev." It made me think of Chandler, "But I do know it's somewhere in Yemen..." So random.

Bo wocks fo' evoh!

Tori :) said...

Ha! Big J said "Wimpy French"!!!!! YAY!

Mrs Lemon said...

walmerts does smell ... :)

Charlotte said...

So you stop at the more expensive place to avoid going to Walmerts and then go there anyway. That sounds like an addiction to me. One I think I share.

Oh, and I hope your baby feels better. I have one of those high pain tolerance kids myself. My tooth is kinda hurting = totally abscessed tooth that need to be emergency appointment pulled.

Suzanne said...

Bo is right "America Wocks!" Especially because we get to make killer guac. Yum! I want the recipe! :)

Super L said...

1) China does wock

2) Why must you rub in my lack of Pho?

3) Why must you rub in my lack of Nobody goodness?

Mycurlyhairdays said...

Oh the joys of sickness! I am glad that she is feeling better! It was great to hang out and guitar in the new year!!!