Friday, December 19, 2008


Today, I will continue my usual schedule of unrepentant mess-making, constant smiling, mix in a little mischief, and some basic button pushing. I will also sing for a while--loudly and wordlessly, and of course make my standard demand for eskimo kisses and chewing gum at the exact same moment.

I'm gonna prance around redefining cool, without effort. And I will wear summer clothes, despite the several inches of snow and ice right outside. And I will paint. On whatever I want, with whatever I want, whenever I want.

Will that be a problem? Hmmmmmmm? No? Okay! Thanks!

p.s. Please don't ask my mom why she hasn't put away all my summer clothes. She has. I find them. Everywhere. If you think the answer is "put them up higher" then you clearly have never met me in person.
Thanks foh' asking mom. I'm gonna wander around purposefully, spouting random facts about vampire bats while releasing the latest and greatest funniest joke evoh. Oh and could you call my teacho' at ho house o' maybe you could just email, yeah, just email ho and let ho know that tomahow I'll be moving to Chicago.

We're not moving to Chicago.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Whatevoh then, just that we're going there.

Um. You can just tell her when you go back to school. I think that will be fine.

I am going to sit here, unmoving, and a little depressed that I can't have a garage. But I will show my owners when it's time for the lady one to go to work.

I am going to look beautiful and make Nobody feel awe at the transformation of the landscape and how breathtaking I can be. And I just might make her fall on her butt. Maybe a neighbor will come help her again. And he will continue to watch her with one eye everytime he comes out because a girl that can fall in October for no reason, doesn't have a prayer in December when there's snow and ice.************************************************************************
I am going to hang in Nobody's kitchen, just above the trash where Bo *wanted me. And I will have disproportionately large hands with which I will greet all who enter. I will because I can. Yes I can. I will make J and Nobody happy everytime they see me, because even though they didn't vote for me, they think it's hilarious that their 5-year-old would have.

*I read this just in the knick of time to incorporate, and it has been really fun. The elves brought Bo this poster. I'm not sure if it was just the one elf, or if it was all the elves. Do you know Everett? And in case you are wondering, or don't know me that well, yes, yes, I DO think I'm hilarious for uh...telling the elves to leave this.


Howertons in Iowa said...

This is totally my house today.. and my car.. and well yeah, that's it. I'm much more tired and for some reason too grumpy to appreciate it as much as nobody. So thanks for the perspective and making me smile. I totally needed it today!

glittersmama said...

It's 50 degrees here right now. This afternoon we're leaving for a place with temps in the high 70s. What's the freaking deal?

Rebecca said...

too funny!!! The hand is too much too!! :)

Rebecca said...

too funny!!! The hand is too much too!! :)

Rebecca said...

I didn't comment twice.. I swear.. that did that on its own.. I am trying not to hog the comments I promise!!

Sarah Tilley said...

it's 71 right now. it will probably not snow again this year. that's the price you pay for living in the south.
my car hates me because it has to live under an oak tree where all year long it gets covered in pollen, sap, dirt, ants, acorns, leaves, and bird crap. if we're lucky it might get a little snow on it this year.

Sarah Tilley said...

hey i once heard somewhere that if your hand is bigger than your face it means you'll get cancer. i think my sister told me that when i was a kid.

alicia said...

How is that snow day going? I adore your family!

Tell Bo if things ever get too rough for him and his political views in the "heartland" he can come visit us in Oregon.

Tori :) said...

Ok, Obama's hand is HUGE! That's hilarious.

Taj continues to wear shorts and tees, although it was 70 here today so I guess it's ok.

Klin said...

I sleeped in until 10 AM cause hubs was home and he took the kids to school. I was toasty warm with my mattress warmer. Then I went grocery shopping and drove home in a blizzard.

I am now getting ready to cook an enormous pot of chili for tomorrow.

My youngest bundled up and played in the snow.

Tonight I will curl up on the couch by my fireplace and snuggle with kids whilst we watch some random Christmas movie.

Are you sorry you asked?

omar said...

Yeah, we got that storm right after you did. It's finally passing now, but we got around 12" of snow today, and it's mad windy (according to, it "feels like" 5 degrees outside right now).

Anyway, I'm going to break from tradition and make at least part of this comment not be about me.

Nah, I'm just kidding. Me me me.

omar said...

But seriously, that Obama hand is frightening.

SARAH said...

I'm always happy when you post pictures of the kids.. they're awesome..

ucmama said...

Sarah, IS your hand bigger than your face?

InkMom said...

That's because you are hilarious . . . no need to be modest.

The hand is disturbing.

The snow is making me jealous.

As are the blue fingernails.

I went to Target tonight and almost tripped over nothing 4 times. Four! All I was doing was walking and somehow the toe of my right shoe kept scuffing and catching and once I very nearly biffed it because I wasn't paying attention. Isn't it sad that I have to pay attention when I walk?

So where I'm going with this is . . . don't feel bad about falling in October for no reason. It puts you in a VERY special and exclusive club with such wonderful and exciting people as me.

Nancy Face said...

This was SOOO funny! :D

Sarah said...

ucmama-did you say that cause my name was upper case... ummm sorry!
or is there something I missed

Charlotte said...

We had a snow day yesterday. Sounds a lot like your snow day. Only I feel gypped because the snow didn't start till 12:30 and we could have had a half day at least. Glad you liked the elf idea!

Carrot Jello said...

Don't forget, if your Avee, you will be sticking your hands in your pants.

ucmama said...

Sorry, is Sarah Tilley's hand bigger than her face? Next time I'll make sure to write the whole thing, I was just being lazy. And Nobody, I know the perfect thing to do on a snow day - spend it with friends!

Super L said...

Not to pressure Nobody or anything, but where the dickens are the promised responses to comments? Three postings with NO responses. What, like you are BUSY or something? Geez.

No Cool Story said...

This might (may?) be my favoritest (that's on purpose) evoh!!!

I am so happy the van got to say something for once.

Someone went photoshop happy on that hand.

NOBODY said...

Howertons: If it's any consolation I'm totally grouchy today and uh, I'm not blogging about my day as a result.

Glittersmama: That was a mean comment. :)

Rebecca: Hi!

Rebecca: Pete and Repeat were in a boat...

Tilley: So, I totally took the hand bigger than the face comment seriously. Then I repeated it to a friend and totally remembered the trick we used to play when we were little.

Alicia: I think there is nothing Bo would love more than a visit to Oregon. In fact, I think I'd love it too. J still daydreams about breakfast there. :)

Tori: Braggart.

Klin: Not sorry at all. :)

Omar: Ha! Self-absorbed suburban juggernaut ninja.

Sarah: Aw. Speaking of pictures of kids...I got yours and they are SO CUTE. I can't believe how big #1 is.

UCMAMA: It's just not as fun through the internet, is it?

InkMom: I must confess, while enjoyable, I had no idea where your story was going. I forgot that I had even posted about falling. Thanks for making me feel better about myself. If only my neighbor could get the image of me falling out of his mind...

NancyFace: Hi! Nobody got a Christmas card from you. Aren't you sending any out?

Charlotte: Yeah, it SO should not have been a snow day, but I'm sure, being a Friday and the last day before break, factored in greatly.

Carrot: That is one of the things I'm sure she'll be making cool, pretty soon. Just you wait.

UCMAMA: Aw man, now I'm all sad because what if there's another snow day before you get back!? It was a nice day. Minus the part about trying to get a zillion inches of ice off my car...

Super L: You sure have gotten all high maintenance since you moved to China and everything. Bo wanted me to call you in China yesterday because he'd like to tell Lemmy the name of the president of China.

NCS: It's might. No. It's may. It's maybe. It's could be. No, it's might.
Thanks. :) You made me laugh, so double thanks.

Sarah Tilley said...

nope, my hand lacks a few inches. i guess i'm safe. :)

Kikibug said...

Of all he blogs I miss, yours is the one I miss the most!!! You crack me up, and your kids are way too smart and funny. I love that Bo loves the Obama poster.
Grace, you be careful in that snow!

Super L said...

Why DIDN'T he? Our old number still works, you know. . .

Carrot Jello said...

Merry Christmas!

You’ve just been hit with Random Acts Of
“ Merry Christmas!”
Love, Carrot Jello

Suzanne said...

LOL at Bo and Obama! I guess it's never too early to get excited about politics. From the looks of everyone's blogs, I think this latest storm just about clobbered everyone.

I have issues with falling down too. At least in Winter I can blame it on the ice! ;)

No Cool Story said...



aubrey said...

merry Christmas, nobo! love you!

Sarah said...

Just to put it out there, I am hoping for a great christmas post :)

No Cool Story said...

Merry Christmas dude!!