Television Habits of The Not So Rich or Famous

The other day back ago Bo came downstairs for some water when he was supposed to be in bed. As a result, he was briefly exposed to the smut I watch on tv. The smut I save specifically for after bedtime so that the only person I have to look bad in front of, is J. J doesn't let me off the hook either. He has his own running dialogue with whoever is talking on my smut episode of choice. "Tyra, I haven't heard a word you've said since the '97 Sport's Illustrated cover" or other such nonsense. I try to ignore him cuz mama needs her trash tv, but sometimes I have to tell him I'd like to have a relationship inventory and talk about our feelings so that he'll get back to his political blogs and leave me alone.

Well, as Bo was walking through the living room, he of course stared at the tv the entire time because if he's staring at the tv, I won't notice he isn't in bed or isn't getting a drink and I will get so absorbed I will let him stand there for hours. But, I am no ordinary mother. I am extraordinary. I reminded him nonstop that he was getting water and getting back in bed. During my nonstop reminding however, someone on tv said a bad word. Of the female dog variety. Bo burst out laughing and immediately went to repeat it. I cringed. For all my monitoring in the daytime, for all the banning of cartoon network, for all the talk about "stupid" being "the s word", I sure was careless. Only, he said, "You just shut yo mouth you FISH! HAHAHAHAHA!" He didn't even hear it, but he thought it was funny. I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Sunday morning however...

He came into the bathroom where I was matting down styling my hair and started giving me a play by play of some cartoon he saw several days ago. If we don't take control of conversation, Bo will talk nonstop for 10 days straight about crap fascinating things he sees on tv. Very annoying.

I tune out most of it because the only thing more annoying in this world than a kid's cartoon, is a the said kid recounting it. Every. Single. Detail. But at the end of this particular monologue he recounted, "And then he said, 'that will give you g-a-s! Ahahahaha isn't that so funny mom!? G-A-S!!! HAHAHAHAHA!"

I was surprised he'd learned to spell on a dumb cartoon. My interest was piqued. I asked him, "What cartoon did you see that on?"

He answered, "My Damn Partner Is A Monkey".*

I'm so glad I bother.

*For those who don't have cable, are better parents than me, or just don't realize the mistake he's made, the actual show is "My GYM partner is a Monkey".

UPDATED TO ADD: After reading this post, J reminded me of our longstanding battle between my love of trash and his complete intolerance. At least he has a sense of humor about it. He wrote this well over a year ago.