Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Back On the Wagon, In the Saddle, and Whatnot

Sooooo I haven't done bootcamp since Thanksgiving. I've thought about it a lot. And I've said I was going a lot. And I've even dreamt about it. But I haven't been.

Since 2008 is going to unveil the new line of Nobody, I knew I had to get my butt back to the Y. I have been there a few times to work out and swim, but I haven't done bootcamp. So, I started getting the kids ready, fed, nagged, threatened, and clothed at 8 and made it to the Y (which is 30 seconds away, in case you missed that the 327 other times I've mentioned it) by 9:15. SUPERSTAR! I was all geared up to haul my fat butt into bootcamp late, but when I got there, it was totally packed and people were doing push ups on the hard floor because there weren't even mats for everyone. I can't do push ups on the hard floor. Oh wait, I can't do push ups at all. Like a mat can fix that!

I walked in, turned around, and walked out. But I didn't leave. I took my new best friend:

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this little device. Jay has a list of favorites on it, so I don't have to listen to his crap selections if I don't want to. I even made a playlist for the kids, if we are ever stuck in a waiting room somewhere. But, the be all end all, why this little silver thing is my new best friends, it because currently, it holds 10 episodes of The Office on it. 10 episodes I didn't get to watch last Winter/Spring when life was a little too hectic. It's beautiful. I watched Phyllis' Wedding today. I was the sweaty nutjob on the treadmill who kept laughing out loud.

I can't believe something so tiny can do so much.
I'm like, it's antithesis.

So, after a few rounds with the treadmill (rounds because any combination of me with an exercise machine is a fight) I headed off to the sauna to de-tox and de-stress. At the drinking fountain I bumped into a fellow bootcamper. A nice Lutheran minister that I've chatted with a few different times. So, by gym standards, we're pretty tight.

He said, "Hey there! Where have you BEEN!?" He seemed to genuinely care. I wished so desperately I had a good reason. Deployed. Disabled. Dead. I had nothing. But I said, "Aw man, I just fell off the wagon." Now, anyone who has known me in real life for more than maybe, oh, two minutes, would know that's just how I talk. I often misuse phrases, cliches, and whatnot. I also like to throw in unnecessary words. Like whatnot. Heretofore. Etc, etc, etc.

Well, since gym friendships aren't really real life, I did not have that safe place to be myself. He stared at me. Concern crossed his face. Then confusion. Then I think he started to pray silently to himself. Either for me and my drinking problem with 3 impressionable children in the home, or for himself that he could think of something tactful to say to end our conversation fast.

As I watched the progression of expressions cross his face, "Public, PC, Non-Nutty Nobody" kicked in inside my head. And I quickly said, "Oh, I just mean life got so hectic. My daughter broke her leg and hauling her and a baby through the ice and snow most days was just more than I was willing to deal with. Plus, you know, the Vodka."

That was so much easier for him to process and we're totally still friends. Probably best gym friends forever. Until the next time I fall off the wagon. ANY wagon.

Since I had a different blog address this time last year, I'm going to be importing some old posts into this blog so I can do a review of 2007. I love to read other's reviews, and I love myself, so I think this works out to be a perfect combination.

But for now, there's a little 7 month old (TODAY!) crawling through my kitchen looking for something, anything, even an old chicken bone would do, to eat.

He's so cute when he's not needy.


glittersmama said...

I wish you were my neighbor so that we could go to bootcamp and whatnot together. Or you could heretofore bring the vodka over so that we could watch The Office and eat junk food instead.

wendy said...

And the Vodka. Waahahaha!

If I wasn't scared of the gym, and if they offered childcare I would definately add "go to the gym" to my new years list.

My husband stole my iPod and took it to Iraq. meany. He says I can buy a new one. in silver!!!

Kikibug said...

As usual you got me laughing so freaking hard! Love the Vodka comment!
All your Christmas pictures are SOO CUTE.. (I am too lazy to leave 2 different comments, much less think about doing BOOTCAMP!) The one of Danyo in the striped get up... OMG.. I am going to eat him! I am not brave enough to buy Carma play make up yet.. I got her the one that is made of plastic and she is content for now..shh no body tell her!

omar said...

Happy belated new year!

I got my wife a Nano for Christmas, and now I kind of want it.

Gyms in the first couple weeks of any January are no fun. Actually, gyms at any time are not really all that much fun. But in early January, they're no fun AND crowded. Don't let the crowd be an excuse! Don't fall off the wagon! I'll be cheering you on from my couch.

And also, I think you have more sauna friends than I have regular friends.

Rebecca said...

love the falling off the wagon.. maybe if we all fall to the same place we do what glittersmama said and watch the office with vodka and junk food.. or maybe just the office and junk food.. or jsut vodka.. take your pick!!! Love the silver nano.. she has been my friend on many o flights.. runs..etc.!!!

Barnecked Lady said...

yay!!! I got a red one. LOVE IT!!! You drink Vodka??? I thought you were

MommyJ said...

love the new blog look... you are making me second guess my decision to renew my gym membership... do I really want to be there with all those people? Maybe I'll wait until february to start.

Kim said...

All of these people wishing that they lived in your neighborhood and I DO live in your neighborhood...I am such a lucky duck!

No Cool Story said...

This 2008 New Line of Nobody and Public,PC, Non-Nutty Nobody are full of adventures and new friends.

Way to go Nobody!!

Omar: "I think you have more sauna friends than I have regular friends". True, so true.

No Cool Story said...

You have to read this.

The last line is precious "I call them my emergency ones. They're the ones you wear when you've run out of all your others!"

I hope this is never us my friend.

Tori :) said...

THat was awesome Nobody!! LOL!! Happy 2008!