Friday, January 11, 2008

I Have No Title

So, I'm feeling all sorts of new pressure to be interesting and clever. I feel no such pressure in real life. Ever. I'm perfectly content to be the person other's say, "What was that?" when they walk away from me. But for some reason, since I've started airing my laundry on the internet, I'm all nervous about what people think.

It might be because Anchored Nomad linked to me recently and referred to me as funny, and that's a lot of pressure because she is probably the funniest blogger I've ever read. I mean, she can have me laughing about something she writes for days (it's not just the stories, it's her delivery) and that's a talent. So, people who are used to her effortless hilarity, come here and I'm sure it's like biting into a potato you think is an apple.

And then last night, I went to a glorified Tupperware party and after the sales spiel, a girl leaned over and said, "We haven't met, I'm _____. I read your blog." How's that for pressure? Hi ______. She was nice and said nice things, but really, my palms are all sweaty now!

It has ever been my goal to keep it real here. And it's hard when there are contests and awards and who knew comments would be like blog-crack for some and there's pressure in some places not to be a mommy blogger, etc. Believe me, I'd rather be a supermodel blogger, but these are the cards I was dealt.

Of course I feel proud of posts where I can elicit thoughts or stories from others. Or ones where I can make someone laugh out loud. But the single most gratifying result from this blog, is the journaling of my children. I love looking back and reading the things they have said and done that would otherwise be forgotten or just become a blur in the past. I LOVE that I have chronicled, Bo's adorable little speech impediment. It was less than a year ago he was saying "Fpidoman" and now there's hardly a trace of that. However, last night, I realized he says words that end in double L's really funny. When he's at a stage where he's such a know-it-all, I love hearing him say all expertly, "It's not a bahw, it's a roh".

Yeah buddy, like that makes any sense.

I started this blog for family. I've made some great friends through it, and that has been a definite bonus. People who's paths wouldn't ordinarily cross mine, have become people who matter a lot to me.

And now to steal a line from my subtle friend NCS,


Lately my kids seem intent on being attached to my hip. And while there is plenty of room for all three of them, it's still a little annoying. And oft times, weird. Like when I go to the bathroom and they try to follow me with their breakfasts in hand. For Bo it's a story he absolutely needs to get out in the next 30 seconds or his head will blow up. For Avee, it's like she can't exist without being by my side. She sits on the floor in the bathroom when I shower. She lies in bed with me when I nurse Danyo first thing in the morning. She squeezes in between my back and the computer chair when I'm at the computer. I am that awesome. She can't get enough of me. You know you wish you could squeeze into the computer chair behind me.

I often tell myself, "This won't last, they'll be teenagers who think I'm stupid before I know it, live this and love it." And I do that pretty well, most of the time. But I think there might need to be some changes. Soon.

Last night I went to bed at midnight. 1 hour later Bo was next to me. It felt like he was interlaced through my ribs. I don't know how he does that, but he always has. Danyo woke up at 2 and wanted to eat. I made J take Bo back to bed and got Danyo. 3 am Avee was on top of me. On top of me. She isn't satisfied with in my bed, or snuggled against me, she, like always, takes it to the next level. I have no idea how long she was there, I was so tired. But at some point I took her back to bed. She was back again. I took her back to bed. Danyo woke up to eat, and there was Avee again. I left her alone. After an hour, I got her back to sleep, Danyo back to sleep and 15 minutes later there was Bo, grabbing my face with both hands to plant a kiss squarely on my mouth. Someone needs to tell him about morning breath fatalities. I'm sure there are some and he's careless. I groggily told him to go play on the computer and I slept with my two appendages for another 45 minutes. And where is J in all this? Obliviously asleep. He has it so good.

I have decided that if my winning personality in the daylight hours makes me so popular with these kids, that they can't stand to be away with me in night hours, I probably need to make some administrative changes. I just don't know what yet.

So, I told Bo to take off his pajamas and I intended to run upstairs and grab him some clothes. Only, he must have heard me say, "Take off your clothes and then run up the stairs in your underwear wailing at me for leaving the room while you are telling me about your favorite Ben 10 episode". Upstairs though, I got this pearl of wisdom from my genius 4-year-old.

"You know why they call these boxers?" he asks as he sweeps his hands around the top and sides of his spidey undies. "They are called boxes because they are shaped like a box" and he shows me again the square shape of his body.

Oh no sweetie, that's called genetics. And you are welcome.


Lisa said...

Just contributing to your crack addiction!

Funny stuff here, Nobody!

glittersmama said...

What a crap night of sleep. Maybe you could lock your bedroom door. You would hear them scream if they really needed you. Or maybe they would just scream for no reason other than because the door was locked. Maybe some restraints would work...I'm just sayin.

Barnecked Lady said...

LOL! You are just so damn lovable!!!!

Breit Mama said...

Just do what I do after I have given up the bed war - leave them all in your bed w/ J and move to one of theirs... For some reason they never seem to look there! :)

Epsi said...

one word:
duct tape

Sketchy said...

You are funny. Don't let it stress you out though. You don't have to be. And I'll still come back. I mean really there's Ben and Avee to keep me occupied...


Try switching sides of the bed with Jay. They will probably just crawl over the top of him and still land on you, but at least he will get woken up too...I'm not sure why that made me feel better, but it did. It's the petty in me. Sorry.

No Cool Story said...

A Segway well played my friend.
I want to know what a glorified Tupperware party entails. Is it better than a regular Tupperware party?

Bo is right, look at Sponge Bob for irrefutable proof.

PS: Now that I think of it, I'm almost a Supermodel Blogger: Look at how beautiful and fashionable my SHG has turned out to be.

Millie said...

I was at a party last October where the subject of my blog came up, and someone I really look up to said something about getting my blog address so she could go over and read it...

and I'm like,

:) So yeah. I understand.

Code Yellow Mom said...

"Believe me, I'd rather be a supermodel blogger, but these are the cards I was dealt."

Shoot. I'm going to be laughing over that one forever. It is about ten kinds of funny. How do you come up with these things?

And now I feel really stressed because ever since you got me into this blog crack I've been telling myself, "You gotta be like Nobody. Just be yourself and don't feel the pressure and it will be great." But now if NOBODY is feeling pressure, I'm sunk. I've lost my "keep it cool" blog model.

Code Yellow Mom said...

oh, and I wish I'd a known you were awake with all kinds of snugglers...I'd a called and given you even more company.

TheVasquez3 said...

blog crack...i totally get that!

ya know, i am a huge fan of your blog. and i wish with all my heart that i had 3 little cuties crawling into bed with me, squishing themselves into a chair with me and even giving me morning breath kisses. i KNOW you know how truly blessed you are and i am WAY jealous!!

Kikibug said...

Hey! YOU are feeling stressed about blogging. It comes naturally to you. I love your blog so much I am going to have it published and bound and I will make MILLIONS... muehahahahaha (evil laugh) But then I guess I could be sued by you. Never mind.

I feel the pressure of even just POSTING on your site.. all these other funny girls here. I read often though... BTW, thanks for leaving a long comment too.. Christmas all over again!

The Condie Seven said...

That's why I love you!

Luisa Perkins said...

This is a great post. Love the 'segway.' The irony is that you once called me funny, and I've been feeling pressure ever since. (And you probably don't even remember doing that. It involved parseltongue.)

S said...

I feel for you JUST the other day someone said "Hey!! You are Nobody's sister" Wot the heck.

MommyJ said...

I always get weirded out when people I see on a day to day basis tell me they read my blog. My main question, is how did you find it in the first place? Who sent you there?

I can also totally relate to the kid behind the computer chair. I love it when all of my children, at the same time, decide that they can no longer hold up their body weight, and I must hold it for them.

And the kids in the bed... when the baby was three or four weeks old, we woke up with all four children in our bed... the baby, and one other in between us, and two stretched across our feet. One big happy family!