Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Okay guys, it's gotta be did.

In general I like to keep my blog more about me and my kids. Sort of like a journal.

For the entire world to see.

But, I can't go on anymore pretending I don't see it. Pretending it doesn't shake me to the very core when I see it.

So, for the very first of it's kind from this blog, A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

First: Alls. aka All's (only because I actually saw it written that way once. Some astute person tried to make the word make sense with an apostrophe) The word does not exist. There is NO SUCH WORD. There is no word that could possibly be the plural of a word that means, the whole of, everything, entirely, completely. It's just not possible. Please stop trying to make it happen. It's uglier than me in my pre-children low-rise jeans.

Really that's my biggest concern with this great nation.

But lately, I've been reading a lot of political blogs. Generally I don't, but I've become fascinated. And maybe it's not an accurate stereotype, but I tend to think that people who can pontificate lengthily on political-like things, are usually fairly intelligent people. So, I've been alarmed to see the following errors even in these kinds of blogs. I hope this public service announcement helps. Because I really can't bear it any longer.



They are all four different words that mean 4 different things.

Lose--to come to be without, to no longer have. "I don't want to lose the race"

Loose--there are lots of different meanings for this word, but not a one of them is "to come to be without or to no longer have". One can have loose change and one can lose change, but they are two very different things. You cannot LOOSE a race. Ever.
I don't even know what that means.

Loser--it's become a popular adjective in today's vocabulary. It's because there are a lot of losers in the world. It can't be helped. However, there is no such thing as a LOOSER. We all know what a loser is. They aren't loosers. You can be loose, and you can be a loser, but you can't be a looser.

I like to misspeak. I like to say ax. And tor-tiLLA. And Juh-law-pen-oh.
I like to say "Something needs to be did" because someone once said it to me and I thought it was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. I start sentences with "but" and "and" all the time. I write run-ons longer than some people's published short stories. I sometimes make grammar mistakes unwittingly, but more frequently on purpose. I overuse commas religiously. Obviously I am not an expert on anything. Except my blog. I am an expert about everything in Nobody Called Today Land.

If you read this blog and you make any of the aforementioned errors, I didn't write this post because I'm too chicken to tell you directly. I would absolutely tell you directly. Just ax anyone who's said "alls" in front of me. It's an offense to my delicate senses, I have to say something. But now that I'm seeing the whole loose, loser, lose thing widespread through out the world wide internets, I feel it my duty.

I hope we can still be friends. Especially if you are a looser who says alls.


Amy said...

You need to add were, where, wear, there and their to your list. That drives me NUTS! Come on Y'ALL! Where were these people ed-ju-ma-ka-tud?

Barnecked Lady said...

Alls i gots to say is, that is funny stuff!!!

Liz said...

My mom hates - HATES - when people say "expecially" instead of "especially"

S said...

we can no longer be friends is alls I gots to say

Epsi said...

Thank you for your PSA. It's a lot more entertaining than the PSA's they played at the radio station I used to work at. I guess that would really be, the radio station at which I used to work...
I have to add another to the list of things people say to show they're stupid. IE: "There's lots of clouds in the sky right now." That translates to "There IS lots of clouds..." Who talks like that except people from Missouri? Oh wait, you're from Missouri... I mean people from Podunk, Kentucky?
You don't say "There is" when speaking of things in the plural. Am I right? Am I right?
Unless your name is Mater and you're a tow truck.

Epsi said...

Oh oh oh! Or "nuke-ular" instead of "nuclear". Or "esc-yoo-lator" instead of "escalator".
Ok, I'm done for now.
You got me on my soap box.
Have you been reading my hubby's Political Blog?

glittersmama said...

Amen's to that!

No Cool Story said...

Guess hwat I'm having for luch today?
And of course I called it poe. Again.

No Cool Story said...

I have a hard time with loose and lose. What a loser!

But the again, I'm but a little Mezzican just trying to make my little old self understood.

Analiese said...

I loosed a race once. HA HA HA

Leslie said...

i suggest you check out my dad's political blog. he's the co-chair for the national finance committee for Romney for President. So it's a teensy bit biased, but still good. and as far as i know, there are no spelling or grammatical errors. he's good at writing. :)

my biggest pet peeve (and i have a ton of them, since i am a self-proclaimed english major dorkwad) is when people misuse "myself." as in, "myself and Mr. blahblah were invited to whatever."
myself is not a subject.

No Cool Story said...

I hope "my little old self" is a subject. But how would I know...for I'm but a little Mezzican.

No Cool Story said...

Here are the things I said wrong today (I did, it was very sad Nobody):

I said "when he come backs" (?), even I surprised myself with that one. Later in the day, once again, I said Evan as "Eeee-van".
This happened after ordering "poe".

AndrewP said...

My very favorite has to be "it's" the contraction used for a possessive. No, the possessive is "its" because it can not be plural; we have a whole different word for that. Or any apostrophe s used in a simple plural. Time for English class to start teaching English again.

Tina said...

I have read exactly one post of yours, and have already added you as a fave. PLUS , I have one..a red head that is..I saw the picture of your kids and felt a unity of some sort. I linked here from Anchored Nomad. I'm a miserably bad blogger, but I am going to read more now. Thanks for the smile.

Tina said...

OH, and I don't know if you have Safeway where you live...but I want to rip people's throats out that call it "Safeway's" or another store called Fred Meyer, they call "Fred Meyer's"..Don't get me started..

Anonymous said...

I feel like a looser now.

Beckie said...

My mom would totally love this post. English Major and English needless to say it has been instilled in me. But who says yous can't have a little funs wit you'r grammer now and then. I just gotta axs one more question... how about the pronounciation of: schedule? or Mature? It drives me nuts when people say matoooor, or shedule(i'm not sure which one is correct with that one) Ohhhh and my dad says sWord instead of just sword (pr.sord) AGGGHHHHHHH

MommyJ said...

Oh, this is so terribly applicable to the blogging world and the world in general, isn't it? In furthering my education, I just finished an independent study course on English usage... different than grammar. More about word choice and what not. When you really start to listen for errors, it is amazing how many you will find... even amongst the educated. My biggest pet peeve is when people say, "We done this." At the dentist office, two different hygienists (how on earth do you spell that word?) said, in explaining what was done to my children't teeth, "We done this." I mean seriously, if you are going to charge me over $400 clean my children's teeth (three children... one bill), please have respect enough to speak proper english.

Oh, I also hate patriarticle blessings.

Gee, nobody, you sure did prompt a lot of soapbox episodes, didn't you?

Leslie said...

oh ya, i hate it when people say realitor. even some realitors on tv say realitor. ok, so maybe they're on real housewives of orange county, but still. just had to get that out there.


Lisa said...

I have a list of my own like this.

TheVasquez3 said...

no wonder you never visit my blog. it must give you hives and facial ticks to read all my stuff.

kellyo75 said...

OH- We can SO be friends. I hear you on all accounts!!

Rebecca said...

I couldn't help myself, and read down the page until this post. I'm clapping. This is brilliant. I can't STAND how these hideous misuses of these words are becoming so...acceptable? Well, not to me either. Welcome to my blogroll! :D

PS. Still laughing at the comment about "patriarticle" blessings. I live in Missouri to! I don't profess to be perfect in grammar, but I do hate "patriotical blessings" and "crayons" pronounced as "crowns". I had to break my eldest of that when he was 6. Once, he was saying "crown", I automatically corrected him, and he said "Not CRAYON, Mom. CROWN. Like on a king's head!" Poor kid.

Rebecca said...

Great. I said "to" instead of "too". I just did my own biggest grammar pet peeve.

Now I'm a looser. ;)