Thursday, January 31, 2008

It's All I've Got

I'm just going to paint the picture so you know how dedicated I am.

Danyo is standing at my legs. He's been standing at my legs or screaming to stand at my legs for the last 263 hours. But who's counting? He has earaches and two front teeth coming in, so I can't blame him too much. Plus, I'm awesome. If I wasn't me, I'd stand at my legs all the time too.

Avee has one foot on my left shoulder blade and the other poised over the computer desk. She's not supposed to stand on the computer desk (my shoulder blades are however, fair game) so she's hovering. I see her right eye darting down every 1/2 a second to see if I notice the nearly 30 pound child on my back who's foot is 3 inches from the "Tab" key. She also has a really annoying adopt-a-dog thing that whines every times I hit the "R" key. I want to throw it. I'm excercising amazing self-restraint.

Bo is laying on the floor behind me telling me all the bad things that could happen to him if he makes that dangerous trek up the stairs into his room to get the toy he wants. If I go with him or do it for him, none of that will happen.

But you see? Instead I type. I'm that dedicated. After a week of nothing that is.

Part of the reason I haven't posted is because I have nothing to post. And you will see that ever so clearly by the end. You will think, "Wow. I just read for over 2 minutes and I possibly know less than when I started reading two minutes ago."

I have never had a clingy baby. Bo went through some sort of stage that is the complete opposite of clingy. He reached for strangers. He was particularly drawn to dark-haired men. He'd settle for a dark-haired girl though. Avee at this age was surrounded by adults willing to hold her all the time, so she didn't cling. She was happy to be held. Or to climb you.

Danyo's a clinger. I'm not built for it. I didn't marry a needy man. My children can change their own diapers and pour their own cereal by 19 months. I don't know how to handle his neediness. If he happens to be content on the floor and I make the very dumb mistake of passing by him, he spots my feet and goes crazy. He suddenly remembers how very complete he is when he's squirming and lunging around in my arms. So, I am like an escapee, I take whatever route, whatever measures I need to, to avoid going in his line of sight. Just now, that entailed walking across the couch after getting Avee some cereal. He didn't see me and I could come back to resume this fascinating post. If you could watch the silent .movie of my life, it would be very amusing, I'm sure.

In other news, I started working at the YMCA a few hours a night. It's boring, at best. But now I know I get to make myself miserable and sore for only $18 instead of $55. And I can also make J take me to get sushi and not worry about what it's doing to our budget. YEEHAW!

I learned some interesting things on my first night. A 16 year old girl I work with told me this about her boyfriend. As you can probably imagine, I was enthralled. "Well, I kinda cheated on heem because he was being a total jerk to me. I mean, I real a*#hole." This is the part of her story where I thought, "Oh cool that's how that works? Can't wait till the next time J has a bad day. And to think of all this time I've wasted being faithful..." And then I stopped thinking to myself because her story was way better than my own sarcastic thoughts.
"So, I felt rull bad and stuff and he was having a hard time coping with it, so I told'm he could cheat back. But, it had to be someone I didn't know or see every day. He had found this college girl who was all ready to cheat with him, but I guess she went back to her boyfriend."

The whole point of this story was to tell me about the co-worker, classmate he eventually did settle on. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Is this really how the world works for people?

J says he's going to post an ad that says something like, "Need to get back at someone? Pass a blood test and I can help you!"

Then maybe I can go out for sushi even more!

26 comments:

Alicia said...

I only know needy and didn't realize there was another kind. See, I did learn something. Seriously, she overheard me mention weaning her and it has gotten worse.

I realize the Y job means more sushi for you. Totally worth it. For me, it means amusing blog material. Thanks.

MommyJ said...

cheat back?!! Oh dear.

Traci said...

J's ad could really work but I think you guys'd feel rull bad later. But you might be able to afford even more sushi with your silent film idea. Of course, it would require an initial investment for "hidden" cameras and what-all. I for one would pay big money for it. Just for the couch walking bit. Shoot. :)

It is really weird, all those scarey and terrible things that happen to the kids when they have to go for something upstairs on their own. Not to mention how exhausting it is, how hard it is on their feeble little legs. I'm amazed by it every day.

EarthBint said...

Maybe I'm just a slow reader but that took me longer than 2 minutes...

16??!! That's like a year older than me (and 10 1/2 weeks). That was rull smart of her to let him cheat back.

Rebecca said...

Clingy babies? Been there. It's hard on a husband when his wife has been clung to all day and is "touched out".

I had to smile at being climbed on. The couch is about 1 1/2 feet behind me and although it's forbidden to be climbed on it's used as a ledge from which to push against me with little feet. Bugaboo took hold of my hair and asked if he could "control" me (like in Ratatouille or however you spell it) while jerking it up and down.

That "cheat back" thing reminds me of Jennifer Aniston when she was married to Brad Pitt. She was allowed to cheat if she ever had a chance to *ahem* have fun with Steve Tyler. Yuck.

Rebecca said...

maybe 3rd times the charm.. my older 2 are the same.. independent.. would move in with strangers right now if asked.. but the roo.. she's a lot clingly.. more than the others combined... times 10.. she seems easy going to everyone else, but at home.. she is on top of me.. always needing to be held. Ah.. not use to it either, but its my baby.. she sleeps with us.. 80% of the time which is unheard of in my house..she wants me .. and as you put it.. who wouldn't!! :) Hang in there.. and its a good thing you had a good reference for that sushi bring job!!

Rebecca said...

whats with the 2 Rebeccas!!

The Child Family said...

Your life is just WAY to exciting! I spent all day looking for party bowls for salad & pasta. Dang it!

Tori :) said...

What, you and your hubby don't have "a list"?? You know- the list of people you're allowed to cheat with?? Mine has Jacob Black and Tristan Ludlow on it... and a ton of other imaginary characters.

No Cool Story said...

There are two rebeccas here and I find that very distracting.

No Cool Story said...

I'd love to read about all the bad things that could happen to Bo if he makes that dangerous trek up the stairs.

Thanks.

No Cool Story said...

I think your post title is misleading. This was a fascinating post. I hope your co-worker becomes a recurring character.

This means you might have to think of a name for her.

Thanks.

No Cool Story said...

I agree with my twin.

My list has Fox Mulder and Edward Cullen.

Millie said...

OK, JUST after I finished reading this conservative Jewish girl's post about how slutty brides look in their immodest wedding gowns these days... you can imagine how completely other-end-of-the-spectrum that story was. :)

Sounds like you and J have it all figured out!

Sarah said...

that was worth reading... and J might just be on to the million dollar business idea!!

Mary said...

I totally like you! (This might just be my first comment on here, though I found you a while ago through my sister Wendy's blog).

Anyhow, I'm amazed at your dedication to type up a post with your helpers so nearby! My 19-month old is super clingy and it is all I can do to keep sane around that kid. He is especially clingy when I'm in the kitchen - he wedges himself between me and the cupboards (while grunting and wining) and then, with his back to the cupboards, pushes me away from the counter with all his tiny body's might. Grrr...

Sweet new job! I look forward to more stories and more awesome business ideas from the Y.

glittersmama said...

I'm glad you finally posted. Even if it was about your incredible jungle gym body and your white trash co-worker. I was missing you.

It seems like the older I get, the more white trashy the world is. Is it just me?

S said...

There is four supeerhappygirls, two pics of Rebecca and one rebecca without a face.Two sarah's one spelled right the other not:)
Anyway you have never heard the cheat back rule? Duh you sure have forgotten your roots. PS I have a clinger......it stinks!!!! Thats why I ran away yesterday and bought new shoes.

S said...

ps J's ad is already on craigslist.........!

Cindy said...

Parker has started the clingy phase too. Most of the time it is ok, I feel special, but some days its like you know you have a father who can hold you and play with you, go by him. But I love him anyway.

Your story about the girl at work is funny. I mean not really funny, but it got me thinking about the daycare I used to work at and all of that stuff hapening in peoples life and thought it was normal. It is funny how people think the world should work.

Your post was very funny! loved it!!

omar said...

That coworker? She should write a book.

Lisa said...

Cheat back? 16? Bring your Purell.

My last was the clingy baby. I put her in a saucer play thingy right next to me and she would cry because I wasn't HOLDING her. Ahhh, fond memories....

Sketchy said...

It's the give and take in relationships that make them so beautiful isn't it?

I'm actually at the point in parenthood where this post makes me a little nostalgic.

Epsi said...

i'm at the point in my life where i'm nostalgic for more posts by nobody...

S said...

I was gonna comment to get those precious kids off you and doing something clever.......then give us a post. But I will just ditto Epsi to keep the pressure down.

TheVasquez3 said...

wow. where do you live?!? you don't come across as "back woods" so i am going to assume you are a transplant. that is some scary stuff going on...

and YAY for more sushi!