Thursday, November 1, 2007

All Three of Them Have My Number

First:
Danyo has terrible gas. Not so terrible for us (although my friend Kiki might disagree---she was sure a dog had suddenly died and rotted for a week out of nowhere under her couch when we were visiting and Danyo had a little "bout") but awful for him. I try to be careful of what I eat, but it seems that the only thing he doesn't have trouble with is ice cream. And I just can't be forced to eat that for every meal. Oh wait. Yes I can.

Our faux Halloween night Pho done him in. He's been working hard. Today he was napping and started crying. I picked him up, not sure if it was gas bothering him or he was waking up. Often they are one in the same. Sadly. Anyway, he kept his eyes closed and calmed right down. I rocked him gently for a few minutes and went to set him back down. His eyes popped open like one of those crazy eye-closing dolls the second he felt himself being let go. And he started screaming. I swooped him back up. Rocked and soothed a little longer. His eyes were closed the entire time. He looked so sweet and peaceful. And sleeping. I put him down. Wide eyed screaming out of nowhere. FIVE TIMES he did this to me. Normally I wouldn't play the game so long, but I wanted to see how far he'd take it. He kept his eyes closed anytime I was holding him, and he looked like he'd just drank a 40 oz Mt Dew every time I went to put him down. I swear I saw him smiling when his eyes were closed.

Second:
My friend Jen's little 3 year old tells her, "You're not my best friend" when she is mad at her mom. I always get a kick out of that when she tells me about it. And I started wondering if/when Avee would be like that, or if she even knew what a "best friend" was. So I asked her, about a month ago---"Do you have a best friend?" Without a moment's hesitation she snapped at me, "NO! Avee not have a besth fwiend!"
"Isn't mommy your best friend?"
"NO!"

So I chalked it up to her not knowing what a BF was. I mean, look at me guys, surely I would be it if she knew what a best friend was.

Sunday, driving home from church, she announces quite sentimentally, "Say-wuh is me beeeeeesth fwiend, I woff her."

And today while watching Little Mermaid she exclaims again "Oh, le'maid is my besth fwiend."

I lost out to a half-naked animation who totally dies her hair red, that can't be natural.
And Third:
About a month ago when I was working on organizing the basement, Bo stepped on a microscopic piece of glass. It was much like an unanesthetized amputation. In his mind. And our ears. Since then, he's avoided the basement. Rather than put on a pair of shoes and avoid a repeat mishap, he just shuns the basement altogether. When he sees someone open the door to the basement stairs he gets all worked up and frantically yells, "DO YOU HAVE YOUR SHOES ON!?!?!"

Today I was down there switching out some laundry and he yells down to me.

"Mom, are you downstairs?"
"Yes, I'm doing some laundry."
"DO YOU HAVE YOUR SHOES ON!?!?!"
"Yes Bo," I lie. It's just easier. I promise.
Sort of mournfully, "Ohhhhh, I really want to be near you, but I just can't come downstairs. Could you come up here?"

I ask you, who could resist that kind of request?
"I'll be right up!"

Smiling sheepishly when I reappear from the death trap of glass shards below, "There you are! Could you set up Cartoon Legwohk dot com foh me?

I realized today that whatever delusions I have of being in charge, are a complete waste of my time.

18 comments:

No Cool Story said...

Ooh look at me yo!

No Cool Story said...

I totally see Dunder Mifflin's logo you know.
Whao dude, you are so not in charge. Sowy.

Alicia said...

Five times! And I love J's Halloween costume.

Rebecca said...

Glad you are finally realizing who is really in charge.. I have yet ti figure it out.. maybe the dog! :)

Colleen said...

All I can say is... ooooohhhh New Moon! She has very good taste in reading material.

Tori :) said...

Your kids are all super cute.
Taj tells me I'm his girlfriend. If he's being mean I tell him "I won't be your girlfriend anymore." It breaks his heart. I'm mean.

Tori :) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MommyJ said...

had no idea you had family that works for dunder mifflin.

Once my husband asked my kids, (in an act of trying to making them grateful so they would stop taking advantage of me) what they thought it would be like without Mommy. The general consensus was that it would be bad, because they would be hungry. Glad to know what I'm good for!

Suzanne said...

So is Avee a wolf girl or a vamp girl? Just curious... :D

You can tell Avee that you have many besth bwog fwiends when she says you are not hers! :)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Ben needs to come over and play Cartoon Network with Carter. :)

Barnecked Lady said...

I can't tell you how many times a day I hear that dot com business from Braxton, it drives me batty!!!!!

S said...

Thats so funny....I checked out the name tag right away too, but of course Superhappygirl beat me to the punch!!! Good post! Danyo is getting so big, he looks so different from your TWINS:)

Coordination Queen said...

I'm loving Avee's choice of reading material! I got sick of the dot com requests from my little girl, so she now has her own folder of shortcuts. :) Oh, and THANKS for the muffins! They were awesome!

EarthBint said...

You've got the cutest kids I've ever seen!

Code Yellow Mom said...

Soooo much adorableness here. I realize that I don't need to teach them to knock incessantly on the wall to get you to come to them. :)

Love the cartoon legwohk dot com. He is one bright boy. Cal told me the other day that if I needed to find him, I just had to look at www dot calvin dot com. Cracked me up.

How is Aves liking the vampire books? Is it easing the Harry Potter withdrawal?

Sketchy said...

Man, you still had delusions of being in charge?

TheVasquez3 said...

they called my husband "tooter" for the first 6 yrs of his life. i think he thought it was his name until he went to school and found out it was Paul. his mom remembers the day he came to her and asked, "do you think everyone can call me Paul from now on?" i guess he was a pretty gassy kiddo too!!

ANYWAY...

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go to my blog to accept your award!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Pyew. I can smell your kid's rancid pants from clear over here.

It's either him or the paper mill... darn this fog...