Friday, November 16, 2007

Of Showers and Suanas and Saggy Pecs

I may have an addictive personality. Now, even as I write that, I think it's kind of a dumb thing to say. I mean, who doesn't have an addictive personality? Who can look into the eyes of Ben and his gorgeous brother Jerry, and partake of their sweet goodness, and then walk away?

I decided that while I am going to the Y and doing bootcamp for an hour and then picking up my kids all sweaty and going home---I'm being stupid. I have two hours of free childcare. The Y has showers. I have children that I like other people to watch. I am frequently in need of a shower.

So Monday, after bootcamp, I went and checked out the sauna. There's a little light, so I read for a little bit and sweat a lot. It was fascinating. I had no idea my calves were capable of sweating. Then an older man came in and started telling me about all the weights he lifts and all the exercise he does. After the sauna I took a shower. Well, it was more like, I ran around a little shower stall to get wet. Whatever, it worked. I smelled much better after that than I do on a normal day.

I came home and literally collapsed. After I fed the kids lunch and put Avee and Danyo down for a nap, I could NOT keep my eyes open. Couldn't. I was soooooo tired. And achy. I haven't been achy from a workout in a long time. I was sure I was getting sick. So I took a nap with the two babies. Bo coordinated and hosted a potluck dinner with the neighbors and a few church friends while I slept. Good boy.

When J called around 3 I could barely keep my eyes open and talk intelligibly. Not sure the latter part is all that unusual.

Tuesday I felt fine.

Wednesday, feeling proud of my new discovery of the YMCA showers, I decide to do the sauna-shower thing again. I marched into the sauna with my book and there sat Mr. Saggy Pecs, all geared up to chat. I learned that his son paid over 300K in taxes last year. And that he's brilliant and mellow and works 65 hours a week, etc, etc, etc. Really I just wanted to see what Bella and Edward's next fight was going to be about. But I'm a nice girl, so I said a lot of, "Wow, that's great" and "Oh my goodness" and "That's so wonderful, what a good son" etc, etc, etc. I even refrained from bragging that my 2 year old can burp the alphabet.

I came home after picking up Bo from preschool and almost fell asleep in the jar of peanut butter. Sooooooooo tttttiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeeeedddd.

I pushed through though. Our new Netflix came and there were Transformers to be seen. I thought I'd bond with Bo as we watched and anticipated the arrival of "Ognamus Crime" as in, "Not octaBUS, like the sea creature, not buh, buh, BUS, but aawg-nuh-MUS, MUS, see it's different than octabus, there's a NYUH sound and a MUH sound..."

Neither of us made it very long. Apparently Ognamus Crime's delayed appearance in the movie was unsatisfactory to Bo and apparently being upright and awake was unsatisfactory for me.

Now, I may be slow, but I'm not THAT slow. I just didn't know the sauna could do that to a person.

On the other hand, I've become addicted. I think about the sauna when I'm not in it. When I'm away from it, I fantasize about the moments when I can be back in it's dark, dry, hot embrace again. Minus Mr. Saggy Pecs, I can see this relationship going far. I have no idea why I love the sauna so much. Really. Any ideas? I do love just sitting still and seeing all this sweat pour from my body, like I've just finished the most intense workout of my life. It just seems impossible that effortless sweating is the whole reason I'm in love.

But it might be.

And I'm shamelessly sharing that with the internets.

25 comments:

Epsi said...

I'm first!

Epsi said...

That said, are you drinking lots of water after sitting in your sauna? You could be feeling fatigued because you're a little dehydrated.
Other than that, you are too funny. My husband even reads your blog now.

Tori :) said...

I like to sweat too. Like when I finish working out and my body is trying to cool down so I start sweating profusely... I like that.
We could hang out in the sauna sometime. Did that sound like I'm hitting on you? Because I totally was. :P

glittersmama said...

My favorite part of the sauna is throwing water on the rocks. Our Y doesn't have a sauna. What's up with that?

Good job cluing in on the free childcare during shower time!

Breit Mama said...

Okay, I love the sauna, just lying there glistening... Nothing Better! If we lived closer together I would read in silence with you. I wouldn't make you speak to me at all. I'd be afraid of the saggy nickname you would give me on your blog!

portuguesa nova said...

I actually have an aunt who is Finnish, with a maiden name that has like 12 i's in it. She comes from some remote little town in northern MN where the dominant language is Finnish. She, and apparently many others, grew up in a house with a sauna out back that they used daily. I would like to retire there, if it weren't for the remote, northern MN, Finnish speaking stuff to contend with.

Sketchy said...

I do not understand this sauna love. Obviously you did not grow up in a desert where you can walk outside and sweat all you want.

PS: DRINK WATER!

TheVasquez3 said...

drinking lots of water should help with the fatigue!!

next time wear your MP3 stuck in your ears and pretend you cant hear him...shoot then you don't look rude and you can read your book!

No Cool Story said...

Sounds divine.
I never sweat. I glow.

I don't like the sight of sweaty men (makes me think "smelly"). The sight of sweaty Mr. Saggy would be more that I can take.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.

mindyluwho said...

All of a sudden I am feeling cold all over and am in need of a hot...something, I guess a bath will have to do since I don't have a sauna.

I LOVE sitting in a hot sauna!

The Child Family said...

you know, you can probably save some $$ in the summer here in Iowa. The humidity is JUST like a sauna! As for Mr. Saggy Pecs, well, that depends on who your neighbors are!

Rebecca said...

Make sure you note how you feel after the treatment, most people feel tired in a pleasant sort of relaxed way; a sign of having burnt off the stress hormones

Did some research for ya.. you are burning off stress.. thats why you are so tired!! :)

Beckie said...

That's why I loved my Bikrham yoga so much..it was addicting. It's Yoga in a sauna! Seeing the sweat pour off is like you are acctually seeing results. For me anyways. Make sure you take some water in there with you though.

Barnecked Lady said...

wow!!! I wish I had some sort of fancy sauna advice, but I don't, but I do sweat a lot, just mostly when I sleep and I'm always really tired, so I can relate. lol.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Yeah, I don't like sweating. I don't get the whole sauna thing.

Better be careful, or Mr. Saggy Pecs is going to think he has a girlfriend. :)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

P.S. I'm a little surprised that it's a unisex sauna. That's kind of ick, to me.

Code Yellow Mom said...

I didn't know the sauna could do that either. I thought it was just the three kids. :)

You are my hero for keeping at boot camp. I could never...

Code Yellow Mom said...

"I have children that I like other people to watch." Funniest line. And I wish I could get there.

Alicia said...

How do you keep the pages of the book from getting warped? I just bought that book after many recommendations. We'll have to chat about it sometime.

Kelly Malloy said...

I've never been in a sauna - but it sounds wonderful - minus Mr. Chatty. I hate when people you don't know insist on filling your ears with info you could really care less about!

omar said...

Ditto what Millie said. The few saunas I've seen (never been in one) have been inside of locker rooms, so it never even occurred to me that they could be unisex. Unless it's not, and Mr. Saggy Pecs went in through the women's locker room. In that case, high-five to him.

Suzanne said...

Bootcamp!?! Yeah, I would have chosen the sauna too! :) I'm like Tori and I like to be sweaty after a workout. It's just a physical manifestation of how hard I've worked. I'm sure the people around me don't appreciate it as much! ;)

Epsi said...

OK, it's been almost a week since you wrote anything! We're going to start calling this "Nobody Blogged Today" soon... =)
How are we Nobody Blog addicts supposed to survive?

wendy said...

I wonder if there's a sauna at the gym on base? must look into that...

The Turmanators said...

I love your blog...sounds so eerily familiar. I too, escape to our Y for free child care and showers without interruption. When I was pregnant and didn't feel like exercising sometimes I just stood and talked to friends while THEY exercised then took a kid-free shower!

I can't handle the sauna because I feel like I can't catch my breath, but I wish I did. It sounds so relaxing! And- again - kid-free!

Enjoyed your site and I will be back!