Our Bedtime Story

"You haven't blogged in forever!" my friend accused me today.

It was a harmless little afternoon at the park, I thought I was safe.

"But, but...I'm right here. You have the real thing, right here!"

She turned the other way and asked the girl next to her where she got her sunglasses.

This stuff is good for me, any inclination to delusions of grandeur. People like me better in print than in real life. Just so you know, as much as I think I'm keeping it real---I'm probably not. I'm way more boring in real life.

On that note:
Tonight we began our usual bedtime routine of barking orders at the kids in between paragraphs we're reading on the computer or guitar hero songs. And the usual cacophony of protests began. Danyo wasn't even asked to do anything, but tonight he wailed just in support of the injustice we were inflicting on his siblings. At one point J and I realized it was just a little louder and more obnoxious than usual, and I looked down at Danyo on my lap and said, "Uh, why is he crying?" Neither of us knew. So I asked Danyo. He writhed, slapped at me and yelled "Nooooooo-wuh." So I think he didn't know either.

Anyway, Bo was beyond tired for some reason today. I caught him yawning several times through out the afternoon and made note that he needed to go to bed early, and that it would be a scene.

He cried through a round of guitar hero. His face contorted by the sheer sadness he felt, while he was allowed to sit and play guitar hero. Then it was teeth brushing time and well, someone had moved the stool. J thought he was crying about a cupboard door being open. The conversation was very entertaining.

Then J tried to kill Bo while helping him brush his teeth. Because that's what dads do with unreasonable six year old boys. Bo was sure J was out to get him.

Then he wailed all the way up the stairs for pajamas and screamed his way down at the complete unreasonableness of it all.

As he was pausing on each stair to emphasize his distress, J turned and said, "Dude! Stop the screaming, you can be upset, but that screaming is ridiculous and it will get you slapped."

The use of the word "slapped" caught all of our attention. No one's ever been slapped in this house. Bo stopped screaming, but maintained a healthy level of obnoxiousness, lest we forget for one second he was getting ready for bed.

I was sifting through a pile of papers when I heard J suddenly burst out laughing. I looked up and looked at him questioningly. He had a letter I had handed him, that was mildly entertaining, but not nearly that funny. Avee was quietly coloring on the floor. Danyo wasn't in the room, and Bo was---well, see above.

He turned to me and said, "Avee just climbed up on my lap and whispered, 'slap him' and went right back to her coloring."

This is why Avee will some day rule the world. You either won't see her coming and inciting the enemy to overtake you, or you will be so entertained by her wily ways, you won't care.