I Guess Pretty Much About Avee

I got up this morning and made breakfast for my husband. He gets up before God intended man to arise. I'm sure that's contrary to some very specific scripture, but I do believe it. I think he probably would have enjoyed the delicious breakfast, if he wasn't so distracted by who I was, and what I'd done with his real wife.

It's okay, it'll be another 7 years before I do that again.

The kids had 7:45 am dentist appointments. Not entirely sure what I was smoking when I scheduled that. They were SO excited to go to the dentist. Not entirely sure what they were smoking. Bo bragged to Avee about getting fit for a mold. He thought it was awesome. I have been known to dry heave in the general direction of the mold-giver for a good 8 minutes after an attempt. He was describing how awesome it was to Avee, that he got to try something new. She listened aptly and then responded, "I really sink I would hayte that Bo. It sounds disgusting."

I concur.

A few minutes later Avee asked me if I knew who Jesus was. I told her I did, and asked the same of her. "Yes I do, he's The Wock!"

Funny, I always thought that was Duane Johnson.

Speaking of wocks...
Yesterday Avee was singing, "The wains came down and the flowuhs came up, oh the wains came down and the flowuhs came up" and my mom had the nerve to correct her. Told her it was actually the floods that came up. Avee was offended by the suggestion and went to J about the matter. J agreed with Grandma so Avee flipped them both off and went back to her imaginary friend Max who meets her at church and never disagrees with her.

After my mom told me the story, I turned to Avee and sang it with the flowers words, like her. Avee's eyes narrowed suspiciously, then darted to Grandma to see if she was getting a load of me, agreeing with her, then back and me and they lit up with complete joy.

Today in the van she was singing it "her way" and then scoffed, "Cwama and Dad say that it's fuhloods, not flowuhs. It didn't wain THAT much, it just wained a little, and it's flowuhs that came up." I could be wrong, but I'd say she won that argument.

Then I took the kids to Bible School. Or, according to Avee, "Fievel School". I wonder if she'll be disappointed when there aren't any small talking mice there to greet her. Hope not.

It's hotter'n hell here today. I could deal with this kind of heat in Texas because, well, because it was Texas. Iowa has absolutely no justification for this kind of behavior.

My mom brought me a letter I wrote to her my first year in college. I was trying to guilt her into a visit in the letter. Without revealing too much about what a manipulative and obnoxious punk brat I was, let's just say I don't ask why Avee is the way she is anymore.

Sigh.

I liked it better when I was befuddled.

The end.