Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Women Are NOT Half Elephant

Okay, PSA time again.


This has bugged me for some time. And it might show that I'm just not as nice as some as you may think I am. Or it may confirm what others of you have thought all along.

But this whole "Women are actually pregnant for 10 months" business is DRIVING ME MAD!!!!


I ran into a friend today who had a tiny little pooch of a pregnancy belly. She says, "I'm 7 months pregnant!" and my eyes bug out because she looked about 5. And then she tells me that she's due on April 3rd. Which is in 3 months. And I'm perplexed.

It's possibly that said perplextion showed on my face because she said, "right? 7 months? I mean, I'm 27 weeks?" And another friend of hers, standing right there, who also happens to be a nurse in the labor and delivery unit, says, "Yeah, absolutely, I mean, you're actually pregnant for 10 months." And I had to lift my hand up to close my mouth because REALLY I thought of all people to know that's not true, she would be one of them.

And quite possibly, half the people who are reading this will think the whole 10 month bidness is true.

Let me show you how it's not.

There is only one month in the entire year that can be counted in a 4 week increment. The rest of the months are more than 4 weeks. By nearly half a week! So, with every two months of normal length, a whole week is added. And in 8 short months, a whole 4 weeks are added.

If you know the day of conception, and do the math, it's actually more like 8 months and 3 weeks, when a baby is due.

For example, someone I know got pregnant on the first of September. And her baby was due May 25th. And then came May 22nd. Exactly 8 months and 3 weeks. And he weren't early either. He was a biggin'. Or so I heard.

So, of COURSE everyone is different. But not so different that you are pregnant an entire month longer than most people. (Unless you are my sister and give birth to toddlers) And 4 weeks does not equal a month.

Except in February.

And really? How much credibility does February even have? Not much. I mean, who else gets to willy nilly add a day, drop a day, make up a holiday to make men feel guilty and women feel lonely, etc? Seriously.

Could you please pass this information on to the women in your life?
In fact, if you pass this on to at least 5 women....you will get a great surprise.
If you pass it on to 10....


it will be even better.
If you pass it on to 15....



you should probably look into getting a life.

It's not that important.

29 comments:

glittersmama said...

I just reported by weeks. They went by faster, and that whole months thing is all screwed up anyway.

Sister Pottymouth said...

I agree. When I first heard about the 10 month thing, I was SO confused! Then again, the whole week thing is screwy too, since they count the 2 weeks before you actually conceive as part of the 40 weeks. Whuh?

Howertons in Iowa said...

Thank you!! While pregnancy can definitely feel like 10 Months, it is only 9! you should know - your mom went to college and well, you work in the ER, so you are practically a doctor with common sense knowledge. :)

Carrot Jello said...

That's what I like about you. You talk about the important things.
I am actually still pregnant.
Like 20 months pregnant.

Camille said...

I totally agree with you. Yeah, it's 40 weeks, and that is 10 4-week units, but 4 weeks does not equal a month. If people want to say it's 10 they can go ahead and say "pregnancy lasts for 10 4-week increments!" Besides, the first two weeks are freebies anyway. You're not even pregnant for the first half of the first month.

Cindy said...

"And really? How much credibility does February even have? Not much. I mean, who else gets to willy nilly add a day, drop a day, make up a holiday to make men feel guilty and women feel lonely, etc? Seriously." I was laughing so hard.

10 months..are they on crack? I am glad my smart friend writes these things on her blog.

I was actually pregnant for 10 1/2 months!! OUCH!!

dancin' momma said...

So...is it ok to say that I feel like I look like half elephant when I'm pregnant? And I have always hated telling people how far along I am. I have very few brain cells when I am expecting, so I think it's just mean for someone to expect you to figure out how many weeks/days/minutes you are along...do my ramblings make sense? If not I blame it on this cute little Banana girl squawking in my ear! ok. rambling over. (I've had no contact with the outside world this week, can ya tell)?

omar said...

I've never heard anyone say that the gestation period for humans was 10 months. If I had, I would have laughed loudly over the sound of their voice until they were no longer in my presence, because that's ridiculous.

We always reported pregnancy in weeks also.

Trivia: Did you know that an opossum is pregnant for like 12 days? Crazy.

Mrs Lemon said...

No kidding, who even needs February?

MommyJ said...

I've never actually questioned the credibility of february, but man oh man, you have me totally convinced it needs to be gone all together. Except Josh's birthday is that month and he might not appreciate that much.

I love you even more than I did five minutes ago, all for this post.

And amen to the ten month thing. that's just wrong, I tell you... I would always count by weeks, and then give a rough month estimate for the people who were too mathmatically challenged to work it out on their own.

Analiese said...

I want to be an opossum .....

Word Girl said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!

Charlotte said...

The whole 10 month thing has always driven me crazy, too! Too bad I'm finished with giving birth, I would give my gustation in moon cycles. Then it would be 10.

And be nice to February, it already has an inferiority complex because of the stupid extra 'R'.

Sarah Tilley said...

it'd be great to have the 'possum gestation time, plus the tiny babies pop right out without too much trouble.

i could never keep track of how far along i was. i just told people the due date and made them do their own freakin' math.

Barnecked Lady said...

ALL I KNOW IS...it's waaaaaaaaaaaay two long no matter how you look at it.

Barnecked Lady said...

I meant to say too, but given my situation TWO makes sense too. lol.

alicia said...

I am way to lazy to calculate the calendar months since the day I was in the doctor's office with a catheter. I prefer the elephant method of dividing the weeks by four. Besides that would be too much information for the two people that have actually asked me in months about my pregnancy. (And a comment on a friends blog.) Most people have asked the due date, I believe for the very reason you articulated.

Klin said...

Do you now understand why I had a complete hysterectomy? All this stuff makes me crazy and my pregnancies were so hard that it felt like a year, so 10 months doesn't seem so bad, but anonymous had my head spinning.

I just told people I was pregnant. 1st trimester, 2nd trimester, beached whale trimester ;)

Super L said...

If you pass this information on to 5 pregnant women, I'm pretty sure your special surprise will be profanity-laced.

But I couldn't agree more.

InkMom said...

And this is why I always ask people when they are due instead of how far along they are.

I used to calculate how far along I was in fractions, like at 28 weeks, that's 28/40, which reduces . . . well, you figure it out. It threw people really of when I would tell them I was nine-twentieths done.

Sarah said...

i'm going to copy and paste to everyone that works for this company.. :)

ok ok maybe just to the one know it all who insisted on the 10 month thing.. yeah I win that fight, thanks nobody

Tori :) said...

I think the whole "10 months" thing came from people saying that once you are 40 weeks you are STARTING your 10th 4 week period. Idk. I'm just talking...
But I'm with GM- I always just went by weeks.
Thanks for this important post Nobo.

Heffalump said...

Ten months only if you are going by lunar months...which most people don't.
I seriously think I read something about lunar months in some pregnancy book though. Maybe that is where it all started.

Code Yellow said...

And the whole, "I'm 20 weeks along but the gestational age of the bun in the oven is 18 weeks." Whatev. How can a person be more pregnant than her fetus is old? I ask you. :)

But you should be nicer about people who don't have their babies at 8 months 3 weeks every time. :)

Lisa said...

So I agreed with you up until you started knocking February. C'mon. One of my favorite people in the whole wide world was born that month. I NEED February!

Plain Jame said...

The thing that gets me is it's always convenient for people to say they're 7 months when they're really 5 - but NONE of them and I mean NOT ONE person will say "I'M 10 MONTHS PREGNANT" when they are actually 40 weeks about to deliver. They always conveniently change over to actual months along at the end. People just want to be further along than they actually are.
Trust me, I'm there. But guess what, I'm only 3 months along. CALENDAR months, not LUNAR months.

No Cool Story said...

You know I am form Mehicoh and all that and down there women folk are pregnant for 9 months.
That's all I know.

No Cool Story said...

And you are nice!
So pffft to you.

I have never hear anyone talk about a 10 month preganancy. But then again, I don't think I could do "fast math" like you did there with your friend.
Maybe if I could hide my fingers and count...

aubrey said...

this is HILARIOUS that you posted this. because on one of my recent posts i mentioned that i am 6 months pregnant. when in fact i am not. i'm only 24 weeks pregnant. if i was 6 months pregnant, then i would have 4 more months till my due date. making it 10 months of pregnancy. ya.