Friday, January 9, 2009

Not Fair

Instead of commenting in the comments of my last post, I'd just like to say first: Omar inspired that post by making fun of noting my frequent use of the word "whatnot". My bloggy friends from August knew why, but I realized no one else did.

Nextly, I kind of felt a tinge of jealousy to hear how very many of you use nicknames/pet names with spouses.

And ergo makes me laugh.

So did most of the comments.

And for the record, I call my kids TONS o' nicknames. I'm breaking the cycle one crazy pet name at a time. But, I do sometimes say things I shouldn't. Like poopypants and tootsqueak. Just cuz those don't go over so well outside the home. Kinda like "Pig Dropping".

The background:
A few days ago Avee got into a lot of trouble for kicking me in a fit of anger. She was sent to her room where she wailed for quite some time. Normally the time out is each minute for however old the child is, but in my house, time out starts after you stop being obnoxious.

This made an impression so the kicking has ceased. She had a minor relapse briefly, and remembered the consequences mid-kick. She stopped and literally pet me with her foot. I let it slide because I'm all about rehabilitation and concerted efforts. Plus, I've wanted to kick a few people in my lifetime, I get it.

So she started hitting, since no-kicking was the official rule.

That was stopped. So she started pushing.

Today, I was on the phone with my cousin and I told Avee no about something and she pushed me. I said, "You remember what happens when you hit mommy?" and she says, "I didn't hit you, I pushed."

The conversation:
Mommy: You don't hit or push me, ever.
Avee: I didn't push eitho, I just touched you.
Mommy: Avee, if you put your hands on me when you are mad, you will get in trouble.
Avee: I'm not mad.

Me on the phone: Grrrrrrrrr. I can't win with this girl.
Cousin: (laughing at my dilemma with a THREE YEAR OLD)
Me: Her latest is to say, "You said you never wanted me to be sad, but you are making me be sad right now!" whenever she gets in trouble or has to do something she doesn't want to do.
Cousin: Wow, you told her that you never wanted her to be sad? That surprises me. That just doesn't sound like something you'd say.
Cousin: (Laughing at me again)
Me: I'm totally serious. She'll get me when we are snuggling and having a sweet moment and she'll say that I made her sad when I went to work, or other such thing that I feel guilty about and then I'll say in a sweet and soothing way, 'I'm sorry Avee, I don't ever want you to be sad' and in the moment I MEAN IT. And then she uses it against me.

Editorial Interjection: I sort of need Avee's manipulative way and ability to outwit me to be a burden and something I can't figure out. Any other way, requires accountability, and I'm not interested.

The Sad Truth No One Else Would Have The Nerve To Say To Me:
Cousin (who has known me my entire life): It's just amazing how much of you has already shown up in her, isn't it?

I call a FOUL!


Plain Jame said...

You did leave out when people say "LITERALLY" in every sentence. I love when people try to sound intelligent and they end up pronouncing it like "LITRALY". OH OH OH And when people misuse the term Ironic.

We could go on and on couldn't we? I'll shut up. But not before I address how much my two girls manipulate me into saying sweet nothings and calling them things like "Oinkeletta" and "Bucky Beaverton".

Klin said...

"but in my house, time out starts after you stop being obnoxious" my house, too. I think that is the way it is supposed to work. YOU are doing it right!

So you are easily tricked by a 3 year old? Here's a come back for you- just in case you want to stump her.

You don't want her to be sad, right? But that doesn't mean that she won't feel sad. It's part of life and we learn how to work through it. I'm guessing she does a pretty good job of managing while your gone, and thus making her sad. Or should I say "ergo, she is sad? Ergo. That is a funny word.

omar said...

"Omar inspired..." My work here is done.

Tori :) said...

You don't know what you have done by giving Omar credit. You have created a monster!!!!!

I love Avee. I tell you that all the time, but I do. She is rad.

"Pig droppings" lol! I ♥ Miss Hannigan.

Sarah Tilley said...

henry's nickname used to be piglet when he was little, but now he doesn't eat so much and mostly gets called weasel. i'd love to call him my little pig dropping, but he's never seen annie. since he doesn't know what a "dropping" is, it wouldn't hurt right? then ben would happily explain it and henry would run amok laughing hysterically about how his mom called him pig poop.

Big Jay said...

This is my favorite post of yours since Ben's birthday train cake.

ucmama said...

hmmmm... Did I let the tootsqueak out of the bag? And I don't know what to tell you about Avee. I was a lot like her when I was little and the manipulation didn't stop until I decided to use my powers for good, rather than evil. So, good luck with that!

aubrey said...

your kids are way too smart for their own good. not like you don't already know this, but i'm just saying it like it is.

No Cool Story said...

I knew you were doing it because Omar.
Yes, you can count me among your smart friends.

About Avee, well, what did you expect? She's just 13, all 13 year olds act like that...wait...What do you mean she's only 3?!?!

Emily said...

sometimes I cry laughing reading your blog. . . seriously.

Code Yellow said...

I love J for mentioning the cake. I have that one bookmarked so I can read it for a good laugh-cry everonceinawhile.

And I love Cousin for sayin' it.

And I love it that you know you NEED Aves' stinkerness to avoid accountability. You're awesome.

And "SHE TRICKS ME!!!" is the best.

Sketchy said...

I'm sort of wondering who you expected to show up in her.

Someday when your children are out there saving the world with the power of their brilliance you can point out in some interview you'll give to an important magazine about how you raised such amazing and brilliant children, you can smile knowingly and smugly, "I just didn't put limits on their brilliance as some parents all to often do."

And everyone will be so impressed with you.

MommyJ said...

I totally forgot what I wanted to comment after I read Big J's comment. Now I can't stop thinking about the train cake.... and all I can do is laugh.


that one makes me nuts.

Suzanne said...

Since everyone else is putting in their two cents, I hate it when people say "ignorant" and they think it means rude when it really means lacking in knowledge about something. Even worse, many people out here pronounce it "ignernt". Ack!

J's (mine not yours!) ;) has been going through a kicking phase too. I guess it was too good to be true when he didn't go through the terrible twos. Now I have a 5 year old that throws tantrums.

Somehow we must both stay sane!!! :)

Super L said...

Me: No, you cannot have fruit snacks. You didn't eat your dinner.

Lemmy: assorted wailings

Me: Then you should have eaten your food. Now go to bed.

Lemmy: But I'm HUNGRY!!! And Mommys are supposed to give their children what they NEED! And YOU aren't giving me what I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

You think YOU have guilt? It's like my kids are training to be Italian Mother-in-laws. (Sorry to any Italian Mother-in-laws out there.)