Monday, January 12, 2009

He Understands Perfectly

After hearing Bo call someone/something retarded I took advantage of the opportunity to tell him what retarded actually meant, how it's not a bad thing, but when people say it to be mean, it is a bad thing. I explained, "Some people are born with brains that work slower and they can't help if their brains work slower. The word retarded means someone's brain works slower, and it's a really unkind thing to use that word for name calling."

I'm sure I was way more articulate when I was talking to him.

I watched his little face to see what he was processing, I wanted to make sure it was sinking in properly.

He was thoughtful, truly contemplating the information and then said earnestly, "Mom. I think Uncle David is retarded." I fought with every bit of control I could muster not to burst out laughing because I'm pretty sure I spent my entire teen years saying the same thing.

"Why do you say that Bo?"
"Well, he got coal for Christmas. Why else would you get coal for Christmas?"

Not sure he entirely gets the concept.

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Avee and her little BF Ella are not allowed to play upstairs because they tear it to pieces. I find blankets in air vents, air freshener in the toilets, kids on top of bunk beds, etc. They are not naughty girls, but there's something about the upstairs that makes them crazy.

And since it's off limits, they of course ONLY want to do that.

Just now they were "sneaking" upstairs. Which entails two pretty loud little girls suddenly being very quiet. By the stairs. What little children don't know is that quiet is more telling than loud--to a mom. They could yell "I'M GOING UP THE STAIRS NOW BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!" and I'd be less likely to notice.

So I turn and say warningly, "Get down here right now."

And Avee yells at her friend, "Now look what you did! I told you to be quiet!"

To their credit. They made it all the way up the stairs and into a bedroom just a mere 30 seconds later. By being very quiet when I thought they were going down stairs.

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Bo asked J who was in charge of our neighborhood. He wondered if it was J. When J informed him that it wasn't so, he pondered a bit and then said, "I know who's in charge of this neighbo'hood. It's God, Jesus, and Barack Obama."

Just so you know---we don't EVER get tired of his fascination with the Barack man.

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Yesterday when J walked in the door after two kids had gone to bed and Bo was about to go, Bo cheerfully said, "Hello white boy!"

Both J and I laughed and I asked, "Where on earth did you learn the phrase 'white boy'?!"
Bo looked at me all weird and said, "I said late boy."

Which is still cute. But not nearly as funny.

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J: Ew, your teeth are gross, go brush them.
Bo (whining): But I'm a loooong teeth bwushooooo
J: Hahahaha! So?! Go brush your teeth.
Bo: It's takes me sooooo long.
J: I'll give you some candy....

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Bo: You know what I don't like about Alabama?
Me: What?
Bo: They had a woo-uh.
Me: What's a woo-uh.
Bo: WOO-UH!
Me: Huh?
Bo (exasperated): A law.
Me: Ohhhh--you were saying rule. Heh. So, what was the law?
Bo: It was that black people had to sit in the back of buses and they couldn't drink from the same drinking fountain as white people, they had to drink from buckets.
Me: Yeah, pretty awful, huh?
Bo: It's gross. Buckets are full of germs.
Me: They are, and that was a completly unfair law, wasn't it?
Bo: Yeah. And also, you should never plant flowers with a bucket. You should always use a hose.
J: That syllogism needs some work.

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Danyo: Awbeggidysasadio! Hahahahaha!

Any One Of Us At Any Given Time: hahahaha! Did you hear him?! He just said, 'Put that brush on the stove!" hahahahhaaaa!

16 comments:

omar said...

First!

omar said...

I'm just practicing.

Nice job throwing Danyo a bone there and mentioning him at the end.

Sarah said...

20 min from first.. love the post.. I can't wait until mine start talking to where I understand them, I always wonder what goes through there minds

No Cool Story said...

Your mom goes to college.

No Cool Story said...

God, Jesus, and Barack Obama.
Forever and ever amen.

Klin said...

Now I know who to contact when I have a problem in your neighborhood. Hopefully one of them will respond ;)

Quiet kids is usually a problem, unless they are 13 and an avid book consumer.

Howertons in Iowa said...

I may never get tired of hearing the little kids speak of Obama. Just yesterday, my 2 year old - TWO years old! was watching a commercial and they showed Obama and he exclaimed - look - Bawack Owbama!
How do they do that?

You have such smart kids! I never tire of hearing the cute stuff.
On Sunday, I saw Avee get up off the bench and her little dress was stuck in her underpants in the back, and I assumed it must have been a compromise for having to wear tights. So Cute!

Cindy said...

I will never get tired of hearing about the funny things your kids do and say. They are funny and you are hilarious!! I have tears in my eyes for laughing so hard!!

Sketchy said...

Do you think the Holy Ghost minds being dropped from the God head like that?

Tell Bo he's pretty fly for a white guy.

I just want to know what he'd say to that.

MommyJ said...

it always amazes me how destructive children can be when left in certain parts of the house... my kids aren't really allowed downstairs.. up in the playroom, and their bedrooms, they have free reign, but man oh man, if I let them out in the living room... it's over.

I sound like I'm talking about puppies. There isn't much differency anyway.

Camille said...

I, too, never get tired of Bo's fascination with Barack Obama.

S said...

Please do not tell Avee that Uncle David is retarded. It will most likely increase her control I mean love for him:) ps I still continue to tell him!

Sarah Tilley said...

heheheh, i love how j tried bribe bo into brushing his teeth by giving him candy.

Physcokity said...

I love how apparently in addition to the myriad of other wonderful things Bo is learning at school that "How to Be Socially Offensive" included. I wonder if it's combined with recess? ;)

hahahahahahahaha

Tiffany said...

Seriously I was laughing my head off. Your kiddos are hilarious.

Tori :) said...

I'm not sure I like Bo mentioning Obama in the same sentence as God and Jesus. ALthough I'm sure Obama would love it.