Saturday, November 22, 2008

Things That Have Made Me Laugh This Week

1 This morning I helped out at the YMCA childcare center.
Avee came up to me about 2 hours after we got there and said sharply, "Mom, I'm POOR!"
Me: How come?
Avee: Because I YAM. I'm not sixteen o' free, i'm POOR.
Me: But you haven't had your birthday yet, don't you want to wait until your birthday in March?
Avee:I'm not having a March, I'm poor NOW!

She was/ really worked up and pretty rude about it all. I tried to talk her into a great party with cake and "sparkles" on her cake, etc. She wanted nothing to do with this too far off birthday. She was four now. Finally I gave in and said, "Okay, you are four, Avee. And you also just might be the first 3 year old in the history of mankind to change the 12 month calendar year to fit your liking." She pretty much had me convinced.

A few minutes later I look over and see her contentedly coloring with markers.

And suddenly, I realize....

This childcare center has a stupid and completely arbitrary rule of only kids over the age of 4 being allowed to use markers. She has always hated that rule and well, so have I. She finally figured a way around it. When another teacher said something to me about it I put up my hand and said, "It's okay, she's poor."

2 This morning, I have no idea what time Bo got up. He and Avee had a great breakfast of cookies and pink lemonade. Bo made his own drink. He announced matter-of-factly, "Dad did 7 scoops, so I did 7 scoops.

Difference: Dad made 2 and a half quarts. Bo made 5 ounces.
He didn't once mention that it tasted awful. He did however ask J later to give him some "just plain watoh" to drink.

Avee and Bo were playing together when it inevitably ended in Bo laughing maniacally and Avee crying about him...well, laughing maniacally. While I held her on my lap, I pulled Bo close to me and explained that she is his baby sister and it is his job to always be kind to her and to make sure she never gets hurt. Especially by him. Avee interrupted my lecture and says with complete sincerity, "Bo! Can I touch your eye!" Of course Bo realizes why this is funny and starts laughing, which makes Avee laugh, because she loves to think she's funny, and then I wonder why I even bother.

3 This is how Avee fell asleep the other day. I thought about leaving her because I mean, really, falling off of the back of a couch is funny no matter who it happens to.

The beautiful marking on her face is her own brand of a makeup job. She's really only ever watched me put makeup on, so I guess that might tell you something. I dunno

4 This pretzel

got put in the microwave for 2 and a half minutes instead of 30 seconds and resulted in this:Causing THIS BOY to be devestated.
It was altogether very funny for me. Bo decided that the first 30 seconds didn't cook it enough. The reason being, "it was still hawd". It was hard because it had been overcooked. So he put it in for another 2 minutes. I was in the bathroom putting on makeup when I heard him start talking very casually about how much it was smoking. I called out, "Well stop it!" and he thought I meant for him to stop talking. When I ran into the kitchen smoke was pouring out of the microwave. I mistakenly said, "Why didn't you stop it Bo!?" and he completely lost it. He started sobbing and wailing, "I didn't knoooooooow, I didn't knoooooow!" Well of COURSE you didn't know. I was not mad for one single second. In fact, right when he lost it, I started laughing. I had never seen him react like that. He was terrified that he had almost burned the house down. I didn't learn that until later. In the meantime, he left me with yet another gross thing to clean up. When J came home he wanted to know why on earth someone would do that in the microwave. Of course he was joking, but it only induced more panic and wailing in Bo.

5 This picture of Avee talking on the phone to her not-quite-two, cousin. The clutter behind her isn't all that funny. But I enjoyed the picture.

Learning about my husband's choice of extracurricular activities in high school still tops the list.

7 Finding this note that my friend brought me the day after I wrote THIS POST. It made me laugh all over again.


Howertons in Iowa said...

First? Could it be?
Not that big of a deal...

Yummy - Pretzels anyone? Lets go to Nobody's for the Chocolate ones

Howertons in Iowa said...

Aly was looking over my shoulder and exclaimed - hey I know him, referring to the picture of Bo, Then she noticed the picture of the pretzel and asked what it was and I told her it was dinner and our friends were bringing it over. She stopped smiling, but I was laughing.

Sister Pottymouth said...

But her makeup looks so...natural!

J's choice of extracurricular high school activities has me laughing too. (Seriously? Andy Griffeth reruns?)

Heffalump said...

Laughter makes it all worth it.

That pretzel made me sad though.

Sarah said...

So... did you check yes or no??

Plain Jame said...

My daughter did the "burt" (or ernie) unibrow with marker a few months ago too. It was awesome. As was this.

Are you sure it wasn't more than 2.5 minutes for that pretzel? That looks like it was at least 6 minutes to blacken to that degree....

just sayin'.

My daughter fell off the couch today. I normally would've thought it was funny, but she was puking the last 24 hours so I actually felt sorry for her.

Klin said...

I hope you didn't throw away that pretzel. You need to put a shalac on it and preserve it.

It is the perfect face dog turd and you could just torment so many people with it. Like any neighbors that bug the crap out of you.

Oh the possibilities . . . . .

Klin said...

fake dog turd

fake, not face

Barnecked Lady said...

It's poo, not a pretzel. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! Who WOULD do THAT in a microwave? Once again, I had to turn my head and vomit.
p.s My 8 year old brings me notes like that all the time, usually about me letting him out of time out. LOL.

glittersmama said...

I certainly hope that you checked yes. And that is totally poo.

Cindy said...

Dude, that pretzel looks like something from Fear Factor...

The picture of Avee falling asleep on the couch reminds me of when I had just gone fishing and fell asleep on the couch with the fish in a plastic bag. It was big and I caught it..I was 4 too!

Whats up player?? worker?? J better be careful!!

Eric & Kristi said...

Your kids are stinkin clever and hilarious. They keep me laughing I can only imagine how many times you laugh during the day.

Lisa said...

Just today I made pancakes that looked oddly similar to that pretzel.

omar said...

Yeah, that poop pretzel is nasty.

And I dig Avee's make up.

Finally, did you realize that this post didn't have anything to do with Twilight? I expect - no, I demand an explanation.

Tori :) said...

This whole post made me laugh. I was totally lost on the "Poor" thing. Then I got it!

Tristan once warmed up a hamburger for 30 minutes. Well, I told him "Idk, about 30..." thinking he understood that I meant seconds. He did not. 15 minutes later our house is smoking and my microwave is dead. :(

NOBODY said...

Howerton: You LIE. You know it felt good. You know the adrenaline was pumping. You just don't want to admit.
What Aly doesn't like our cooking? Whatever.

Sister Pottymouth: Honestly. Andy Griffith Rerun Watchers. Something you can put on your resume.

Heffalump: Not as sad as it made Bo.

Sarah: I'm happily married, thank you.

Plain Jame: I swear, it was 3 minutes total. The 2.5 sent it over the edge. It was a small pretzel, it didn't have a chance, really. I wrote "Plane Jame" the first time. There's possibility

Klin: Sorry, I did throw it away. But nice use of the word shalac. I'm impressed.

Klin 2: This made me laugh out loud. As in, I LOLed.

Barnecked Lady: I ALMOST put a disclaimer at the top for you and your fellow pregnant reader, S, but I just didn't think it was that gross. At least not compared to what I've posted recently...sorry again though.

Glittersmama: See comment to Sarah. :)

Cindy: Did you just call me a player? HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!

Kristi: I do laugh a lot. Probably as much as you though! These ages are just funny!

Lisa: Oh honey.

Omar: I.beg.your.pardon. I would like you to find any reference to Twilight in my entire blog. You will find one. J wrote it. Not me. I demand an apology.

Tori: THIRTY MINUTES!!! Ay yi yi. I just had a poop pretzel that smelled. That must have been a MESS! Why you always gotta one up me? Whatever. I'm totally cooler than you. And Glittersmama.

aubrey said...

earlier in my pregnancy, i woke up to find the big bucket of country time lemonade {not pink, just regular} on the table and the kids had done the exact same thing. ava and max kept telling me how sour it was but the sour made it SOO good. according to them. i told them not to get into the lemonade again.

No Cool Story said...

I'm not having a March, I'm poor NOW!

I thought she meant she was the no money kind poor.
Then I am all confused and thought "poor Avee, I'll send her markers"

Be poor all you like Avee.

No Cool Story said...

BTW, don't let the Y see that picture of the marker on her forehead.

They'll ban her from marker forevoh.
Poor or not.

CPS said...

We are taking copious notes ma'am.

You laughing at your poor distressed children is not cool.

That pretzel. For shame.

No Cool Story said...

"Things That Have Made Me Laugh This Week"

8 I talked to NCS and she was soooo funny. She even hung up on me like she usually does...

Oh wait, that didn't happen.

Physcokity said...

This post makes me hungry for lemonade and pretzels... but not burnt and not super concentrated

Physcokity said...

Yes falling off teh couch is funny

Physcokity said...

Only one reference to Twilight? Who else was it that posted about reading a certain book in the sauna with the gross sweaty old guy who was trying to pick up on you or something like that?

Just sayin' ;)

Physcokity said...

"I thought she meant she was the no money kind poor."

Me two me too

Super L said...

Man! I totally missed the cutoff! And I was also going to ask if the marker makeup was from the Y.

Do you thing they will have a party when we leave and they no longer have to deal with Leafy Isaac and his refusal to stop being a toddler?

Tori :) said...

Cool is as cool does. (Or something like that...)

Super L said...

Also, UCMama totally forgot the "Maybe" box, a crucial component of any 'do you like me' letter. Tsk.

Lauren said...

That pretzel is legendary. So is Avee!

ucmama said...

I did NOT write that Super L. The construction workers gave it to me to give to Nobody. That's my story and I'm stickin to it.

Super L said...

I apologize to UCMama. But not the the construction workers. They should know how to write a pick-up letter by now!