Of Showers and Suanas and Saggy Pecs

I may have an addictive personality. Now, even as I write that, I think it's kind of a dumb thing to say. I mean, who doesn't have an addictive personality? Who can look into the eyes of Ben and his gorgeous brother Jerry, and partake of their sweet goodness, and then walk away?

I decided that while I am going to the Y and doing bootcamp for an hour and then picking up my kids all sweaty and going home---I'm being stupid. I have two hours of free childcare. The Y has showers. I have children that I like other people to watch. I am frequently in need of a shower.

So Monday, after bootcamp, I went and checked out the sauna. There's a little light, so I read for a little bit and sweat a lot. It was fascinating. I had no idea my calves were capable of sweating. Then an older man came in and started telling me about all the weights he lifts and all the exercise he does. After the sauna I took a shower. Well, it was more like, I ran around a little shower stall to get wet. Whatever, it worked. I smelled much better after that than I do on a normal day.

I came home and literally collapsed. After I fed the kids lunch and put Avee and Danyo down for a nap, I could NOT keep my eyes open. Couldn't. I was soooooo tired. And achy. I haven't been achy from a workout in a long time. I was sure I was getting sick. So I took a nap with the two babies. Bo coordinated and hosted a potluck dinner with the neighbors and a few church friends while I slept. Good boy.

When J called around 3 I could barely keep my eyes open and talk intelligibly. Not sure the latter part is all that unusual.

Tuesday I felt fine.

Wednesday, feeling proud of my new discovery of the YMCA showers, I decide to do the sauna-shower thing again. I marched into the sauna with my book and there sat Mr. Saggy Pecs, all geared up to chat. I learned that his son paid over 300K in taxes last year. And that he's brilliant and mellow and works 65 hours a week, etc, etc, etc. Really I just wanted to see what Bella and Edward's next fight was going to be about. But I'm a nice girl, so I said a lot of, "Wow, that's great" and "Oh my goodness" and "That's so wonderful, what a good son" etc, etc, etc. I even refrained from bragging that my 2 year old can burp the alphabet.

I came home after picking up Bo from preschool and almost fell asleep in the jar of peanut butter. Sooooooooo tttttiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeeeedddd.

I pushed through though. Our new Netflix came and there were Transformers to be seen. I thought I'd bond with Bo as we watched and anticipated the arrival of "Ognamus Crime" as in, "Not octaBUS, like the sea creature, not buh, buh, BUS, but aawg-nuh-MUS, MUS, see it's different than octabus, there's a NYUH sound and a MUH sound..."

Neither of us made it very long. Apparently Ognamus Crime's delayed appearance in the movie was unsatisfactory to Bo and apparently being upright and awake was unsatisfactory for me.

Now, I may be slow, but I'm not THAT slow. I just didn't know the sauna could do that to a person.

On the other hand, I've become addicted. I think about the sauna when I'm not in it. When I'm away from it, I fantasize about the moments when I can be back in it's dark, dry, hot embrace again. Minus Mr. Saggy Pecs, I can see this relationship going far. I have no idea why I love the sauna so much. Really. Any ideas? I do love just sitting still and seeing all this sweat pour from my body, like I've just finished the most intense workout of my life. It just seems impossible that effortless sweating is the whole reason I'm in love.

But it might be.

And I'm shamelessly sharing that with the internets.