Thursday, October 25, 2007

Sensitive Bully

I have little to no tolerance for unkindness. That might be a profound statement of the obvious, but I'd be willing to make a friendly wager that I have less tolerance for it than the average bear.

So, it doesn't help that Bo is going through an experimental phase of deciding who he likes and doesn't like. And there are more "don't likes" because....well because he's a stinker. It is particularly difficult for me to let him go through this phase and figure things out, I just want to make him like everyone. Plus most of the time when I ask him why he doesn't like a particular person his reasons are really lame. Like, "She has flat long hair" or "he doesn't like sidewalk chalk".

Today at lunch, Avee had already left the table and this conversation ensued:

Bo: Mom, that pie was really good last night, I ate all of mine all gone, it was so good.
Me: Well thank you Bo, that's nice of you to say, that makes me feel good. I made that pie just for you and Dad, I thought you guys might like it.
Bo: (a little too delighted) ha ha, you didn't make it for Avee!
Me: Oh, I made it for her too, but she didn't eat very much of her dinner so she didn't get to have pie.
Bo: Yeah, that was pretty funny to me that she didn't get any pie.
Me: Oh Bo, it's not nice to laugh at things that might make someone else feel sad.
Bo: Yeah, but I don't like Avee
Me: That makes me so sad to hear Bo because I love Avee so much. How do you think you would feel if Avee said she didn't like you?
Bo: Oh, I would feel so bad, it would really make me sad. But don't tell Avee!

I think that last statement really sums him up well. This tender-hearted sweet boy that keeps being a little stinker.

I do hope this phase passes soon.


No Cool Story said...

The stars aligned for Super Happy Girl today :)

No Cool Story said...

"I have less tolerance for it than the average bear." That would be Mrs. Bear if you don't mind ;)

I love it how Bo is covering all his bases.
I'll try to remember your advise next time someone makes me not like them.

Tori :) said...

He's the type of bully I was in jr. high. I could talk big but I would feel horrible if anyone I talked about knew that I did it.

No Cool Story said...

AH! And the my kewl hawt twin shows up!
It's a Hover Bacon Miracle!

S said...

Man that boy is QUICK! What kinda a pie did you make? Why didn't avee eat, she always eats? Man I found a thousand outfits for Danyo at target but resisted? I can go back.........!!!

S said...

BTW I talked to mom and I am so NOT her second favorite. I don't know what she told you! LMBO

Barnecked Lady said...

ummmmmmm forget the pie I want your body, I mean potato salad. So if I send you some choc. chip pumpkin muffins, will you send me some pot salad???? mmmmmmmm pot salad, sounds kind of fun!!!

MommyJ said...

What I am totally impressed with is that you are super mom enough to let one kid have pie and not the other. I think I need more sticktoitiveness in that area.

wendy said...

I'm just impressed that you made pie. That's bonus points!

NOBODY said...

NCS: Aligned for you, as they did for me. It's a beautiful day

NCS Dos: Bo is good at covering bases, I've learned that about him. I wouldn't exactly say the advice I give a 4 year old is completely pertinent to who has social skills more advanced than jumping on people's backs to show them how much you like them.

Tori: That's interesting. I wonder how common that is----being a bully but secretly being sensitive about it.

S: Peach Berry pie. Mmmmm. It's because I was watching Pushing Daisies and a girl snarfed an entire pie and I was like, "mmm, pie sounds good".

S2: Mom lies. A lot.

Barnecked Lady: I think pot salad sounds WAY better than what I make. Even if it wasn't good, get high enough, you wouldn't care.
If it could be shipped, you'd be 500 lbs by now for all the pot salad I would have shipped.

MommyJ: Well, thank you. Avee doesn't beg though, and I know that helps. She sort of takes her "sentences" like a man. Or a tough two year old. I am weak when they plead.

Wendy: Well...yeah! I made pie! I didn't even realize how remarkable that was when I wrote this post, so thanks for pointing it out. I'm SO not a pie making kind of girl, so it's almost like I was bragging to post about it. It was REEEEAAAALLLY easy. p.s. your daughter's guest post was absolutely darling. She's got spunk!

Sketchy said...

Thats an interesting philosophy there, I want to not like anyone I choose - that's good. But if anyone doesn't like me - that's bad.

omar said...

In his defense, I haven't talked to my own brother in 3 years because of our disagreement about sidewalk chalk.

What kind of pie?

Kikibug said...

Your kiddo's are really TOO CUTE!!!
I would LOVE to have had some of that pie too.. and I ate way more than my share of dinner so I deserve it!

Michael was sad that you didn't get to make his favorite pie... but touched (well as "touched" as he gets) that you were even trying to make it.

Julie said...

You made PIE??????

Show off. ;-)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Just accept it. You're raising Jerry Seinfeld.

Code Yellow Mom said...

I'm impressed with the pie, the "no pie for you," AND the flat long hair reason. :)

And just so you know, you are one of the few people I know who genuinely likes everyone. It's a talent. Seriously. Or maybe I'm just still in the phase that Ben is going through. :) At any rate, it won't be long before Ben adopts your world view and uses his super powers to even be tolerant and kind to anti-sidwalkchalkers. And Aves.

EarthBint said...

Define: 'friendly wager' :-)

I wonder what he would say about me...

Mel said...

You are so funny! I will have to stop by more often.

Bo is so much like one of my own. He's really thiking things through, isn't he? What a kid!

Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts) said...

Good luck with your son and lots of strength coming your way to get through this phase.