Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I got schooled by COMMENTERS. Sheesh. From now on, you can only comment if you are going to say I'm pretty and smart. Just kidding, I loved it all. I was interested to read that several people had similar experiences and were crazy enough to invite a door-to-door salesperson in. I want to defend myself because I even got a phone call from my mother who got all up in my grill. Right after she read me an article from her senior citizen magazine. As per usual, she one-upped everyone with her reason for concern. Carrot was holding strong until my mom said, "What if she had been a pervert?" I'm still not entirely sure what that is supposed to mean, but I got a kick out of it.

I was curious about her opening "vote for me" line, I wondered briefly if she was working for Obama, who has an office here in our town. AND my front door was wide open when she approached it, so I couldn't really shut it suddenly. AND my kitchen is about 3 feet away from the entryway.

But, she was in my house.

And now I fear my 10 year old 27 inch tv might get stolen...

A few minutes ago Bo came flying in the house bawling. I grabbed him up quickly (still not accustomed to the dramatic phase he's entered) with concern. He was wailing, "Hunto made me siiiiirrrrrrrd leado, he made me siiiiiiiirrrrrrrrd, ahhhhhhhhhh"

"Bo, Bo, what's a Sir Leo? What's wrong?" When I realized it was something "Hunto" had done, I knew he was okay. The kid couldn't find his way out of a paper bag on a good day, let alone physically hurt Bo. Plus, he's not a mean kid.

Turns out Hunto made him THIRD LEADER instead of SECOND. My poor boy was happy as second and still got the boot. A bigger neighbor girl was the reason he got demoted. So Bo wasn't happy with her. After he composed himself he opened the front door and yelled at the top of his lungs, "You are SOOOOO STUPID!"

I immediately got after him, "You do not talk like that, we don't use those words, open the door right now and apologize."

He is nothing if he isn't obedient.

"I'm sorry I said stupid. But you are still the thing I said you woh at fohst."

He is nothing if he isn't honest.

Oh, and two more things.
The pinnacle of big boy activities for Bo is reading chapter books. So, you can imagine his delight when at the library last week, his friend pointed him toward a chapter book about a superhero called Captain Underpants. We've been reading it to him, and he's semi-obsessed, but he only gets about 1/8th of the jokes in the book. He's more in love with the idea than anything else. So, there is a character named Professor Poopypants (and I thought I coined that name) and whenever everyone else hears his name, they all laugh hysterically.

So today Bo asks me, "Why doesn't Professor Poopypants get mad about his name mom?" I said, "Oh, he is mad, see his face, he's totally mad."

"No, he's mad about them laughing at his name, why doesn't get mad that his name is Professor Poopypants?"

I ask you, is that not brilliant and insightful?

And lest you think I'm bragging....Bo learning how to snap his fingers...


Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"You're still stupid" - oh that kid is precious. I loved it.

"What if she'd been a pervert?" Yeah, what if?

*still thinking*

No Cool Story said...

That poor child. Does he realize what you are really up to with your camcorder and your sweet laughter?

"I'm sorry I said stupid. But you are still the thing I said you woh at fohst."


Tori :) said...

I'm thoroughly impressed with his honestly and awesome new talent.

Traci said...

HILARIOUS. He's got skillz. And honesty. And brains. You can brag all you want. (Of course, that's permission coming from the one who doesn't think twice about saying her kids are brilliant about eighty times a day. So I guess it's not so liberating...)

I fended off Spongebob for four and half years in our house. I'm trying for seven on the Captain Underpants. (Leftover animosity towards the books from my days as a b&n employee added to the daily conversations that ALL seem to center around bodily functions. I can't support it with a book.) But chapter books! That is a big boy!

wendy said...

I am considering dressing up as professor poopypants for halloween. I wonder if my daughter will mind if I wear her (hopefully clean) undies on my head?

3rd leader! Meany!

No Cool Story said...

I have to be honest. I was rushing to take my kid to piano, but I wanted to comment because I hate being last. NCS should not be last :(
So I rushed my comment. Thus the poor quality.

After all that explanation I feel like I should leave a Deluxe kind of comment wouldn't you know, I have none.

So you are left with this: I did want to add that Bo is a pretty talented kid. He has all kind of inner smarts and brains. Like CYM said, he likes chapter books,

S said...

Danga, I didnt know you had to have quality comments too. SHeesh I am so far behind in this blog thingy. Ben looks so BIG and non-baby face anymore :((( I will have to see this snapping in person it sounded rigged.

Bryner Family said...

Wow, he really does look so grown up! Chapter books are the best. Each ending getting you excited for the next chapter! Oh the joy of reading! I LOVE that Jill is reading now and reads to her little sisters! She's into the Sweet Pickles books passed down from many a Bryner before her. I also love that she gets a lot more of my jokes. And we can make fun of Dora together (even though she still loves to watch it with her sisters!). Gotta love these Bryner kids!!!

Suzanne said...

Wow, what a great little reader he is! "D" has wanted to start reading the Captain Underpants books and laughs hysterically whenever he sees them in the book orders. Man, someone is making bank on what little boys love. Why didn't I think of it... :D

Barnecked Lady said...

Well......being a mother of boys I took it upon myself to look up your captain underpants silly names. You are the Toilet Buns family. Fits don't you agree??? okay, so you and aves share the first name Stinky, J is Poopsie, Bo is Lumpy and Danyo is Gidget. Looking up the names I found that we are also kindred, my name is Stinky Toilet Butt. LOL....LOL....LOL...I will tell you something else cool, if you come back to TEXAS!!!!!!!!!

Breit Mama said...

You have to teach Bo to read the books to his siblings. There is nothing better than having Hannah read to her sisters now while Scott and I watch TV.. ERRR I mean dutifully listen to her precious voice while she answers the twins 14 questions per page.

Epsi said...

Gee Nobody, you're so pretty! And smart!

Analiese said...

Well apart from your cute kids i have to talk about your cute Mum! I remember the first time I met her at Temple Square and then again when Avee was born. She is stinking hilarious and so matter of fact. I see those genes were passed on!

Sketchy said...

I don't blame him for not wanting to be Sir Leo. That's playground devestation right there.

Carrot Jello said...

You're pretty and smart, and your son is intelligent and insightful. Anything else?
Sheesh, so bossy.

Julie said...

Oh, Captain Underpants. How my boys love thee. And how you drive me nuts.....

That's wonderful that Bo is reading C.U. already! Maybe he could dress up as the under-bundered hero himself for Halloween? (My oldest did that twice--it was awesome.)

Sir Leo is waaaay better than being Sir Cumcision.

EarthBint said...

I can't even snap my fingers! Or whistle for that matter. He is so smart thinking of how to do what his Mama says but still keep the insult there :-)
I think Katherine used to be obsessed with Captain Underpants too, but I thought it was stupid because of a) the picture on the front and b) I couldn't read. Anything I couldn't do was simply uncool in my mind.