Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Uh Yeah, You Might Want To Skip This One. Don't Say I Didn't Warn You.

I have a pit in my stomach and yet, I'm still going to grace you all with my blogging presence.

I am feeling increasingly disheartened by the way things are going in our country. That sounds deeper and more meaningful than I even mean it. What I mean is, I'm so tired of bad, even atrocious things happening to people at the hands of Bad People. I'm tired of hearing/seeing suffering. I'm tired of Bad People becoming such because they had crappy home lives with no parents, or no dad, or no mom, or no one who ever cared. Or of people who could have or might have cared, but who brought Bad People into their homes and let their children suffer at their hands. I'm tired of people taking sacred responsibilities lightly as though they are a game anyone can play and no one can win.

I'm tired of being worried about my children's safety at every turn.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fighting an uphill battle in raising good, tolerant, kind, moral, productive children.

Over the weekend, the daughter of one of J's employees was sitting in her living room when a group of men broke through her front door and beat and rap_d her. Sitting in her living room. Neighbors. 15 years old. SITTING IN HER LIVING ROOM.

Over the weekend I was visiting my sister, with my babies asleep in the other room, I was sitting in her lovely home, laughing at Tina F-ay and Amy Polarbear when 3 doors down a young girl was being stabb_d to death. With her 4 month old baby in the other room. I want to fall on the floor and sob until I have nothing more to give when I think about this. But I have kids who would probably be traumatized if they saw this. And I can't help but think she's so much better off now, than a life where these kinds of horrible things can happen.

I'm tired of people vilifying the opposing candidate. Just shut up and vote. If people are stupid enough to believe the crap other people are saying, do you really want them making the decisions for who runs our country? Promote education. Promote awareness. Shut up with the ridiculous accusations. "He didn't show up. Bad bad bad!" "He didn't say a word. Bad bad bad!" Give me a break. I'm doing my darnedest to teach my children that such behavior is ridiculous, ineffective, and beneath them. Way to go America---prove me right.

And I'm ticked off beyond belief that a man who has a 200 million dollar severance package is partly responsible for the condition of our economy and he's probably having umbrella drinks on his yacht with a mistress, or well, maybe even with his wife of 30 years who manages to look like a young mistress, while there are people panicking, suffering, struggling, and feeling like the end is coming. Thank you Jerkfaces.

Just call me Sunshine.

In other news.

Avery fell 15 feet on Sunday with nary a scratch on her precious little body. I saw my life as a functioning, capable, life-worth-living, human being flash before me as I ran the 20 yards to reach her. Once it was ascertained that she was okay, I saw Bo's life as a living, breathing, talking human being flash before me. "It was her fault, she wouldn't get out of my way."
This incident is proof that inasmuch as possible, children should come from a two-parent home. Bo might not have survived my wrath, if I had had to deal with him. He can thank J that he is still alive today.

Don't think the irony of this is missed on me. But some of you may know, Mama Bear is no respecter of persons. Even if they are adorable, albeit naughty, 5 year old's with love handles.

In other, lighter news:
Bo begs me every day to let him go to the after school program at his school. It makes me laugh every time. I'm certain that 93% of those kids would love to go home everyday and be bossed around by their own moms. He even offered my a nonexistent cookie from his lunch if I'd let him go.

The reason the cookie was nonexistent was because that's all he ate for lunch. Oh yeah, and the chips. Untouched were the two clementines and the pbj sandwich. So, guess what Bo had for dinner last night? A pbj sandwich and two clementines. He thought it was a funny joke when J broke the news to him.

Last night I looked in the fridge and saw half an eaten pbj. The boy is incorrigible. And insanely cute.

Speaking of cute, cuteness is:
A three-year-old asking her 1-year-old brother to give her a HIGH FIVE.
A one-year-old hauling a foot stool as big as him around the house for a better vantage point.
A three-year-old who says "wipe" for the color "white".
Me, not in a bad mood.

Speaking of bad mood, I guess my neighbor got a DUI and can't drive. Her peanut-butter-and- JELLY-making-7-year-old showed up on my doorstep today, 45 minutes before he was supposed to be at school. His mom sent him over because she had an appointment. Uh, did she know if we'd be home? No. Is she smart enough to at least send him somewhere safe? Yes. So little PBJ boy started explaining to my little preshies about DUI's and how it's illegal. "Illegal means it's very very bad."

I'm counting the hours until Bo tells me that having to take naps is illegal.

Speaking of naps...


MommyJ said...

commenting even though we are currently chatting just cause i want to be first....

MommyJ said...

I'm terrible. I know.

MommyJ said...

okay... feeling bad that your post was serious and insightful and my comments were frivolous and self indulgent. So... here's what I really think.

The world does suck, but it's also full of huge quantities of amazing,sincere, altruistic people... people that make a difference every single day. And people that make you laugh every day. For that, I'm grateful. :)

Love your kids. Glad Avery is okay. Jordan always wants to go to VIP.. that's the afterschool care here. It's made me laugh for the same reasons you mentioned.

Cindy said...

I tired of all of the fighting and bad, bad things that are happening, too! When ever you start to think of those things...just think of me. I usually put a smile on peoples faces!!

I am glad Avee is ok and you are right about having J there to take Bo. I would have been so angry!

Think of me!!

Lisa said...

So glad Avery is okay!!

I used to get the same thing about attending after school care. It's much more fun than coming home to the boring mom.

Sad...all the stories are very sad.

Millie said...

I am so sorry, for all those terrible things happening to people you know/knew. How horrible. :(

Can't wait for the election to be over. The CEOs responsible for all this financial uproar will get theirs one day...

So glad Avee is OK after she wouldn't get out of Bo's way. The nerve!

You are cute, even when you're in a bad mood.

Millie said...

Harrison tells me the same thing every once in a while. "I want to go to the Boys and Girls Club after school because (baby mama's child's name here) goes there and he says it's really fun."

Uh, sorry kid, you're stuck with me, your siblings and your Playstation.

Becky said...

Ya, my kids beg all the time too to go to the after school program. I think Joe was even trying to get me to go get a job at one point when he realized why the kids went there.

One bit of good news, though. The neighbor's mom remembered that if she sent him over to my house 45 minutes too early, I send him home. Good thing she sent him to your house.

ucmama said...

You may not want to read this comment...
I'm sorry, I have nothing inspirational to say. I feel the same way sometimes and the only thing that helps is knowing that being alive on this earth beats the alternative. And, that Heavenly Father knows our hearts, minds, and concerns and He realizes that you feel the things you described. That's one reason He gave you the kids you have, to uplift and keep your heart from breaking about the terrible things that go on in the world. Sorry, that's my take on it. Yes, this world sucks, yes, bad things happen. And it's OK to cry about it sometimes.

Leslie said...

it sounds like everyone's been down about the same sorts of things lately. i've been having serious issues dealing with the fact that my kids live in a home where they are practically eaten because of love, while other kids are beaten and neglected. that is really hard for me to deal with.

so i'm with you, sometimes just wanna climb in a hole. but i'm glad avery's okay. did she fall off a wall? what happened?

Jamie said...

Yeah, when the news is all terrible bad evil (a janitor found a healthy hour old infant in a DUMPSTER last night - a DUMPSTER.) If your heart doesn't hurt to see whats happening you would be a drone that looked dead behind the eyes. (much like the cast of the Hills..)
A man in class on sunday said that todays Gadianton robbers are White collared twisted businessmen. I was struck by the profound wisdom in that.
If I try to look at people in perspective, there have always been good and evil, not just these times. We dont have to look too far to see the good. Most days I feel like I walk the line as I'm out of patience with my kids!!!
Thanks for being so real and honest in your posts. LOVE IT!

omar said...


I saw the title, then read the first line. I was 100% sure this post was going to be about poop.

As I watch the news and read the headlines in my news reader, I always wonder: are things really "worse," or do I just find out about more of it because of how quickly and easily information flows? The more bad stuff I read about, the more scared I get about my kids' safety and stuff. If there was no internet or no 24 hour news networks, would I still be as scared? Or would I be blissfully ignorant about the bad stuff? I dunno. I just ask questions, I don't answer them.

Very glad Avee is OK. Also glad that Bo survived your wrath.

Methodical wormer said...

The world really is a terrifying place. It just makes me wonder how much worse can it get before the Savior comes? It's important for me to remember that we've been told to not fear. And in last conference they talked about not being afraid of what your kids have to go out into. That as long as you do your part, the Lord will bless them. I needed that info for sure.

I think you're an amazing person for taking care of that neighbor boy. It makes me so sad. I need to go snuggle BL.

Beckie said...

OMG!!! I am so sorry to hear all those things. it makes me so sad to hear it. I also wish that some one would pay me 200 million and then bail out my company. Man alive......that's what you get when you're being preached at to
"spen, spend, spend". So it is thanks to said Jerkfaces, that I probably will be unable to get a home loan. SIGH!!!
I love you Nobody, hang in there chickita!

S said...

Is this same girl that got mad at her mother for picking her up from grade school one day or was that me? Anyhow life seems to continue on even though everysingle moment I am thinking about the incidents I hear in the news. I do think for the most part if we did turn off access we would be in bliss. Maybe I will try that tomorrow:)

portuguesa nova said...

Did you see Oprah yesterday? The entire family...mom, dad, two teenagers and 13-month-old ALL ADDICTED TO HEROIN (minus the baby, that is)? I actually felt better about all the other atrocities seeing them.

The world is a bad bad place.

I sort of live in this weird grey area between, "We all do the best we can." and "What in the h-bomb is wrong with you?"

I'm rambling. I mostly wanted to express solidarity.

Oh...something else...I work at a college. There is this whole new breed of kids in their early 20s that act like complete, total, utter *insert bad language noun-word that you do not say but I do* and, when called out on their behavior, BLAME IT ON THEIR PARENTS DIVORCE. Adults. In their 20s. I do not know how this relates to your post at all, but I somehow attribute this annoying phenomenon to the further yucky-ing of our world...

Heffalump said...

It is a scary, scary world. It makes me want to move far away from everyone and never let my kids leave the house.

Rebecca said...

ouch.. powerful stuff.. fortunatly the world has people like you, that push through all the crap.. and bring children who will make a difference in this screwed up world.. it just really sucks sometimes.

Klin said...

Some days the only hope I have is reading the blogs of those I love, knowing that I am doing the best I can, and that when it gets too bad the Lord will come.

So glad there are moms like you who will be a mom to those whose mothers are too d*&% lazy. You are the best.

Tori :) said...

I totally understand how you are feeling. I was telling S that I had a bad experience that made me look at life totally different than before. You can read it here. Our world really is scary. :(

aubrey said...

you just depressed me. i know you warned me.

swampbaby said...

All those things are so sad and can be so overwhelming. That is why it is so important for good people to not shrivel up into our own little cocoons, but to be out making a difference. Somehow. Even if it is just showing kindness and love to the abandoned PBJ boy next door.

Code Yellow Mom said...

Your two parent home proof made me laugh.

And sometimes I can't take the gut-wrenching atrocities in this world, either. Cry in the shower. It makes you feel better and won't traumatize the kids. Lock the bathroom door, of course. :)

But I'm also with mommyj - there are some fab people in this world, too. They're just quieter and less assuming, so it's easy to feel like were being overrun by jerkfaces (and worse).

Keep doing what your doing. There's at least three mostly-red-headed kids I know who are getting the best and will make a better world because of it. :)

Code Yellow Mom said...

Oh, and Dang. I forgot to call you sunshine.

Sarah Tilley said...

hey sunshine. :) i'm glad that avee's okay, that bo's still alive and that j was around to save his life. :)

i get too angry when i think of the horrible stuff that goes on every day. when i see a mug shot of some horrible mother who got busted for beating one of her kids and for keeping the bodies of her two other kids in the freezer, i can't help envisioning smashing her in the face. yes, it's a good thing i'm not queen of the world because there'd be very few prisons and A LOT of executed bad guys.

and don't get me started on politics...

lucky for me i know that the world really is a wonderful place with tons of great people in it, even if it is smutted up with people who choose to do evil rather than good. and it's a good thing that bad events make you want to cry; it means you're a decent person, one of those that make the world great by being in it.

omar said...

It's possible that I'm crazy, but Nobo, didn't you leave a comment on this post? Because now I don't see it.

iowamom said...

Ever since I became a mom I have found myself super paranoid about EVERYTHING. Now, after having moved to this neighborhood, I find that my parnaoia was jusitified. What a sad world. But, I am glad for these two little girls that make me smile every day. And thanks for the laughs last night!!! Good luck with all the crazies!

omar said...

Wait, now I KNOW you left a comment. I got the email notification. It said something about me being predictable that I was going to unpredictably respond to. What gives?

Sketchy said...

In general the world stinks. It breaks my heart so many times.

In specifics though there are places where you just want to live forever. And you think, if only the world in general was more like this it would be a happy wonderful place.

Like here.


ucmama said...

There was a comment from Nobody on here Omar. You may still be crazy, but at least your memory is OK.

Carrot Jello said...


Physcokity said...

Alright Sunshine ;)

"If people are stupid enough to believe the crap other people are saying, do you really want them making the decisions for who runs our country?" AMEN!

That's quite a lot of horror stories for one neighborhood, or maybe I just stay in my own little bubble-riffic world too much and don't notice these things?