Tuesday, September 9, 2008

199 and Counting

Who knew poop would get so many comments? I've been laughing about it since Friday night. I called three people before I published that post because I was sure it was too much, I was crossing a line. No one answered. I never have insecurity about clicking publish. Cracks me up that the one time I do, there's a "been there done that" or "coulda been worse" response. I appreciate so many people's efforts to look on the brighter side. It takes real talent to be able to do that.

This is my 199th post. On this blog. I think if you combine past blogs, this is like my four thousandth post. Not sure I'm interested in doing a "Four Thousand Things About Nobody" post. Not sure you're interested, actually.

Right now my life is full of repetitive things that are almost immediately undone. Seeing 198, 199 and eventually 200 is just gratifying. It says, "You can do eet Nobody!" It says, "Good heavens you can write a lot about very little!" It says, "Your mom goes to college." And to all of that I say, "That's so true!"

I also wanted to bring up a past milestone. My SIL Cyndi was my 30 thousandth visitor to my blog. Yessiree, that's thirty thousand. Congratulations Cyndi. You will get nothing more than the satisfaction of happening to visit right in between 29,999 and 30,001. But thank you for visiting.

Cyndi is married to my oldest brother Garrett who just had surgery to remove cancer.

Maybe if you are reading this and feel like you want to wish Garrett well, you can leave him a note. Or a joke. He's one of the best story/joke tellers I know. Sometimes you hate yourself after listening to a 20 minute story about fictitious middle eastern characters, just for his totally made up punchline. But you will not begrudge the dude's ability to captivate you. Love you Garrett, hope your recovery continues to go well and quickly.

There have been so many times I have sat at my computer with the intent to post to my blog, with absolutely nothing to write. In case you haven't noticed by now, this is one of those times. To quote J, "I'm sorry for thinking I'm funny when I'm not. And I'm sorry for any future times I will do the same thing."

That's why I married him. He's super funny when he isn't trying. When he's trying, well....

I think I'll end with some Avee randomness.

2:37 AM
Avee (at the side of my bed): Mom! Mom!
Mom: Whuuuuuuuu....huh? What's wrong Avee?
Avee: Mom. I felled out of my bed. I felled.out.
Mom: Oh sweetie, I'm sorry, are you okay?
Avee: Yes.
Mom: Okay, go back to bed then.
Avee: Okay Mom. Thanks. Thanks Mom.
(I guess you should also know, her bed is like 8 inches off the ground. And she's always half on half off)

TWICE This Week
A: Here's an apple.
M(I take a bite out of it to break the skin for her because that's what I do when she hands me an apple---we have a very symbiotic relationship when it comes to fruit): Here you go Avee
A: (a look of surprise) I don't want it.
M: Wha? Why did you give it to me.
A: Because I didn't want it.
M: That doesn't make any sense Avee.
Bo: Yeah, it really doesn't Avee.

A: Oops! I just peed in my underwear. Hahaha. Sorry mom. It just came straight down, on the flo. Not the carpet. It's okay. You need to clean it up.

What is with these kids?


Bryner Family said...

So your brother really had cancer for one day? What??? 3 year olds don't have to make any sense. It's actually their M.O., I'm finding. :) I think J is funny too. :)

omar said...

For Nobo:
Happy four thousandth post!

If I were to find out NOW, when my boy is two months from age 4, that there is such a thing as a 3 year old that makes sense, I would probably cry. Because the only reason I retained my sanity this past year is because I was under the impression that ALL 3 year olds are crazy.

For Garrett:
Billy's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"

Billy replies, "HIJKLMNO"!!

The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"
Billy replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

Millie said...

Happy Cancer Free Day, Garrett! Best of luck with your remission!

OK, posts about poo are usually the attention-getters. I'll have to think of some good poo stories, I guess. :)

Child Family said...

I actually would like you to compose a list of 4,000 things! I think there would be a lot of people wanting to read it! :)

Garrett: Congrats! your the man. Cancer wooper!

Avee was totally makin sense. In a 3 year old kinda way.

Suzanne said...

"It's okay. You need to clean it up." Ahh...the perspective of a child!

I'm assuming your brother had skin cancer and that's why he was able to get rid of it so quickly?

Happy 199th post! :)

MommyJ said...

i love kid randomness. I have no idea how many posts I have, but now I feel like I have to go and look.

I'm also intrigued by the one day of cancer. perhaps that's a story needin to be told.

Love J's line... apply it to me. it fits.

Yvonne said...

All the best to you, Garrett. Here's a silly one for you--A guy goes into a psychiatrist and explains that he thinks he's a chicken. The psychiatrist asks him how long this has been going on--the answer:

"Ever since I was an egg."

And, Nobody, I love your stories.

Yvonne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Howertons said...

I love the kids randomness - always a fav of mine! And who says writing about nothing isn't a good read - love what you post!

iowamom said...

Hannah and I have that same kind of relationship when it comes to her apples. She'll eat all of the skin on the apple EXCEPT that first piece. The things we do for our kids...

Lauren said...


"Avee: Okay Mom. Thanks. Thanks Mom"

Coupled with this:

"Oops! I just peed in my underwear. Hahaha. Sorry mom. It just came straight down, on the flo. Not the carpet. It's okay. You need to clean it up."

Made my day.
I take that back...
It made my life.

No Cool Story said...

Well, nobody called *me*.
AS you know, I'd have been the most affected by the poop post.
Most affected, by far.

No Cool Story said...

199 posts!!! Weeee heeeee!
Congrats Nobody!

I'll take pee on the flo over the carpet any day.
Not that that ever happens anymore. But If it had to.

No Cool Story said...

For Garret:

What do you call 4 Mexis in quicksand?

Cuatro Sinko.

;) Take care.

Sarah Tilley said...

congrats on the multitudinousness of your blog posts. that's probably not a real word, by the way. but who cares; you can say anything you want on the internet.

i love avee randomness. makes me wish i were better at chronicling the weird stuff henry says.

keep posting forever. :)

Klin said...

I love reading about your kids. I wish blogging had been around when mine were little. They, too, said the funniest things.

So If you ever need a break, I'd love to come be entertained by your kids. It'd probably scare them to death to have this strange lady there, but it would be fun.

Andrew said...

There's a reason so many people read your blog. You aren't writing about nothing. Too often in our society nothing is "real" unless you make it onto the television, and the news is filled with politics and massive financial doings.

Those things aren't as real, interesting, or entertaining as the daily interactions of the average person. You also have an impressive ability to relate those stories in a way that conveys the experience very effectively so everyone can enjoy.

It's a nice break from "news." I've used quotation marks too much, but you get the idea. Write on, Nobody.

swampbaby said...

Aaaah. I enjoy reading your posts. They help me feel normal. :-) I'm Tori's sis, by the way. I try to de-lurk occasionally.

Sketchy said...

As it has never occurred to me to give my kids an apple that has been "started", I think it makes total sense to give someone else an apple that I hadn't eaten and didn't want. What's wrong with you that this is incomprehensible?

For your brother, I do not have a good joke, so I shall tell a story about a joke: (ahem)

My mother-in-law wants to learn to tell jokes, she insists she has always been a bad joke teller, and thinks that if she learns to tell jokes it would be a good thing. So I agree that I will listen to her tell the same joke over and over. For weeks.

Imagine it.

Finally she says she has got it, the timing, the punchline, she has this joke prepared for whatever joke telling emergency she should encounter. She thanks me for my patience.

Finally one day such an emergency arrives. I am there. I did not recognize the emergency, but she apparently does. She tells the story of a funeral at a church on top of the hill. Alas no one remembers to put the brakes on the little gurney thing that goes under the casket.

Down the hill it rolls, people start to chase it, through traffic, and a stop light. Until it jumps a curb rolls straight through a door to a pharmacy at the bottom of the hill and slams up to the counter. The lid pops open and the dearly departed sits straight up. And says...

(and here I quote my dear mother-in-law exactly "You got anything to stop this thing?"


Me: You got anything to stop this coffin? Coffin!!! As in Cough-ing!!! Aaaaahhhhh.

And thus ended my willingness to listen to any of my mother-in-laws jokes ever again.

Tori :) said...

"You need to clean it up." Classic.

For your brother:
Ok, I got nothin'. I will just say CONGRATS!

Michelle said...

"It's okay. You need to clean it up."

That was great!!

Physcokity said...

"It's okay. You need to clean it up."

That makes me wonder if she was rehearsing the dialogue that would have ensued between the two of you and filling in the blanks.