It's 3 AM I Must Be Lonely

Last night (at 2:54 am) I woke up abruptly to the sound of a seal barking in the other room. I jumped up just in time to find Bo wandering out of his room into the hall. He was wheezing and barking and sounding pretty funny. Even at 3 am.

We are well acquainted with croup.

Avee got it when she was 9 months old. I was at my parent's house and she was alseep in a port-a-crib at the foot of my bed. The wheezing and seal barking commenced at about 6 am and I just about died from heart failure. Tiny little 14-15 pound Avee. I called my nursing student sister and frantically begged for her to come and "get the toy out of my baby's throat."

After about 15 minutes of unsucessful fishing, S suggested perhaps she was sick, and didn't actually have something in her throat.

It was December, in Missouri. I threw a coat on her and rushed her to the ER. Because I had no idea what was happening to her.

Funny thing is, by the time we got to the hospital, the wheezing had stopped and her fever had dropped like 2-3 degrees.

That's what cold air does to croup and a fever.

The next time Avee got croup, she was 18 months. I knew what it was, so I didn't worry. One disadvantage though, we lived in Texas, and it was early October. No cold air to be found anywhere. But I wasn't worried.

Then she slept until noon and when she finally woke up her poor little tiny chest was heaving and working so hard to get air in and out. I called the pediatrician's office and they said to bring her in right away, based on the respirations/minute I reported. In the pedi's office, he immediately gave her a steroid shot and when 20-30 minutes later when she still didn't have her oxygen level up high enough, he sent me to the ER. It was then that I got a little worried. It all worked out, obviously. But let's just say, I'm no stranger to croup, and I have Avee to thank for that. It also needs to be noted---Bo was not ever involved in any of this.



So last night he's wheezing and coughing funny and immediately gets hysterical. I'm not sure if I have ever revealed this in its entirity on this blog---but he can work himself up to utter and complete hysteria in less than o.3 seconds. It's insane. And super annoying for me. Most of what is annoying to me is, I don't know how to deal with it. Nothing I say or do seems to help. Although, I am smart enough to know that saying, "I'm seriously about to throw you out that window Bo" isn't entirely effective in the "calming down" department. But he gets so crazy, I kind of lose my mind too. Just so you're clear, we're talking SUPER crazy.

Like the time he had to get a throat swab on his 5th birthday and after screaming hysterically for 15 minutes, I had to ask the doctor, PA, nurse, and medical assistant to all please leave us alone for a few minutes so I could reclaim my son's soul. HOLY SWAB!

And a couple of months ago he got the tiniest microscopic glass shard in this foot (I love the word shard) and couldn't walk. So I told him we needed to get it out. I fought/wrestled/reasoned/bribed/threatened, did everything I knew to do for at least half an hour. I walked out on him 6 times. He was resigned to going to bed for the day at 3 pm. It wouldn't have hurt getting the glass out, but J made the mistake of telling him it might. All of my efforts never even got me CLOSE to his foot.

I was sweating and furious when I went downstairs and threw the tweezers at J and said I was done, or one of us was going to end up in serious trouble.

J went upstairs, I hear brief objections and then nothing more.

J was up there at least 15 minutes but I never heard a peep. Finally J came down and said, "It's just too small, I can't see it." So I had to go back up and help. J worked his subduing magic and I worked my microscopic-shard-finding magic and we managed to get it out of his foot.

Later I asked J how he got Bo to be so quiet. "Oh, I just told him I would sit on him if he didn't hold still." I shook my head in disbelief, "But I threatened nonstop and got no results!"

"Well, he didn't sit still. So I sat on him."


This is a lot of background just for a measly middle of the night story---but I feel it's important that you have all the history and the facts. The facts according to Nobody.


So of course, last night, Bo got hysterical right away. Part of what caused this was being mildly incoherent and part was knowing that whatever was wrong with him was a big enough deal that both mom and dad were awake.

I just talked very quietly and calmly, hoping my example would rub off on him.

"You're totally okay Bo, it's just a cough that's called croup, crying will make it feel worse, screaming definitely won't help, here, take some small sips of water, there you go, oh, wait, no screaming, we don't need the baby waking up, easy there, okay, heeeeeeeeeeey, why are you screaming?!"


J, still laying down says, "Bo, look buddy, you're fine. If you really couldn't breath, you would have died like, an hour ago." And then starts laughing

Now, you need to know. My husband is awesome. Sometimes he says or does things with the kids that are exactly what is necessary or called for and I kind of stand back in awe that he knew how to handle it so perfectly.


And sometimes, he doesn't.


Bo started howling after hearing he would have died an hour ago and hearing his dad laughing "at him". As much as I wanted to laugh about how terribly wrong it all went in a matter of seconds, I bucked up and dealt with it and made J take Bo outside to get cold air.

They came back, Bo snuggled in with us and all was quiet until 7:30.

This morning I asked J, "What did you do with Bo when you took him outside?"

"Oh, I just told him how he'd had croup before and it was no big deal and (blah blah blah)."

"You do know he's never had it, right? It was Avee both times."

"Yeah I know. But it totally calmed him and he doesn't know that it was Avee and not him."

Just a little bit ago I heard Bo telling his friend, "Yeah, I had the funky cough last night. It just sounds funky and it's hawd to get a good bweath but I had it befo' and you just have to go outside in the cold a-yoh to help it go away and crying and screaming makes it wohse."

"What's it called?" his friend asks.

"Funky Cough."