200th Post. Things About Things About Me--ish

Okay. I did it. I've had like 52 post ideas come up before I could complete this, but I was determined to do a 200th post thing.

I knew I couldn't come up with 200 things about me. I love myself, and even I would die of boredom. You'd think after that statement, I would have spared you. But I have not.
I pushed it to 140. Made J write 20, and then I wrote 10 things about the rest of the family.
That equals 200.

It reminds me of how I did Algebra in high school. I was determined to do it and finish it, but I did not take the quickest or most efficient route to do so. It was also often very wrong.

At least I'm consistent.

If you want, you can keep score of the 140 things I wrote and note how many of those things you already knew. I might build you a cake or something if you are the one who knows the most.

20 Things about Nobody, By J:
1. If Nobody gets her way, and we get rich/I stop being cheap, we'll go to one Broadway musical each month, and a cruise twice a year.
2. She is a travel agent for all her friends and family including my parents
3. She is a living, breathing database for phone numbers and birthdays. To all my friends - if you ever hear from me on or around your birthday, it's because of Nobody
4. Country music is the default radio station in her car.
5. Her mom was once offered 5000 camels for her when they were in Egypt.
6. When playing Settlers of Catan, she will always squander her resources on a usually futile quest to get the longest road.
7. She introduced me to the awesome world of Vietnamese pho and sushi.
8. She does a pretty good job of not putting me through the whole 'I'm a woman, you need to read my mind' torture.
9. She does not sing in the shower.
10. She has not watched the original Star Wars Trilogy (New Hope, Empire, Jedi) and thus totally misses out on all cultural references to the movies. ---- By the way I think everyone should gang up on her and pressure her to watch the original Star Wars. Omar. NCS. Talking to you here. I've done all I can. Do it for the children. FOR THE CHILDREN.
11. She doesn't like the Twilight series as much as you do.
12. Take a moment in your mind and pinpoint exactly how much you enjoy watching smutty reality tv. She likes it more.
13. If you're less than 3 feet tall, have speech impediments, strawberry blonde hair, and you creep into her bed in the middle of the night, she is a total pushover and will let you stay.
14. The smell of sweet pea, cucumber melon, juniper berry, or vanilla fluffy fluff will put her into a trance and she will give you all the money in her wallet.
15. Whatever you may be thinking, do not buy her a Barry White CD for her birthday.
16. She has a great ability to pick out cool gifts for people. One year for my birthday she got me the book Ice By Ice from which I still quote to this day.
17. Will dethroned Harrison as 'Hottest' when Harrison dumped his wife and started wearing an earring. Matthew Mconaughey is hot, but Nobody needs brains and hotness.
18. People warm to her faster than they warm to me.
19. She has no care or need for scented candles when there is not a 500 pound smelly man living in the apartment below us. So don't buy her a 5 pound candle for Christmas.
20. One of her talents is putting other people at ease. I think this is because she's confident enough with herself that she can easily let other people be who they are.

By Nobody:
1. If I get the giggles at the wrong time, I cannot regain control. Simply, canNOT.
2. I do not like roller coasters.
3. I don't like most amusement park rides.
4. Tilt-a-whirl does me in.
5. I can't dance.
6. At all.
7. I truly love my life.
8. There are things I could do without, but they pale in comparison to the things I have, but couldn't live without.
9. I moved to St. Louis when I was 25, didn't know anyone, didn't have a job, and lived alone for a year.
10. I loved it.
11. A couple of weeks before I turned 21 I biked 400 miles down the pacific coast with 3 friends.
12. I have never been fired.
13. I was a bad breaker-upper.
14. I have always liked my name.
15. When I was born my parents named me Suzanne.
16. My mom changed it to Nobody when I was a few weeks old. Maybe months. Honestly, I can't remember. :)
17. I used to hallucinate when I was sick.I often had the same hallucination of large "people" with tiny limbs that weren't strong enough to support their bodies. I'd always get in a panic wanting to help them not break and stuff.
18. I am afraid of spiders, snakes, rodents, and fish. I don't ever want to touch any of them or any of them to ever touch me. Ever.
19. I don't hold grudges.
20. However, if you are a pig, I will stop associating with you, without holding a grudge.
21. I was voted Most Congenial in 6th grade.
22. I also won "best girl athlete" but my teacher asked me if I'd be willing to let someone else have that award so other people could win stuff.
23. Of course I agreed, that's why I was Most Congenial.
24. I didn't know what that word meant when I won the award.
25. I had recently learned the word "congenital" so you can imagine my confusion at why this was an award.
26. I got a mood necklace from J on my 31st birthday. He bought it in the airport, moments before he came outside and got in the car where I was waiting.
27. I wish I could sing well.
28. It is very hard to personally offend me.
29. That is different from me finding someone/something offensive.
30. I saw Reba in Annie Get Your Gun on Broadway in New York. I LOVED it.
31. I played the cello from 11 years old until I was about 16.
32. I stopped because I hated the first chair in my orchestra class.
33. Dumb dumb dumb.
34. I've never tried caviar but I really want to try it.
35. I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when I was 11 years old.
36. I got the part because my fake cry was the most convincing.
37. I was terribly embarrassed when Glinda the Good Witch had to kiss me on my forehead.
38. I've always wanted to go in a hot air balloon, but never have.
39. I'm also mildly afraid of heights, so its probably better that I don't.
40. I went to Egypt and Israel when I was 17.
41. I have never been in a haunted house.
42. I have no desire to ever go in one.
43. I can juggle.
44. I am not a good boss.
45. I have only been called to jury duty once.
46. I was the foreperson on said jury.
47. It was a lame and unexciting case about a H0me Dep0t ladder injury.
48. I used to write a lot of poetry when I was younger. Something about teen angst made me poetic.
49. Some of it was pretty good.
50. I have a very good memory for dates and names.
51. I have never been to Arizona.
52. I have never been in a limousine.
53. I have never donated blood. Everytime I've gone to there has been some random thing preventing me.
54. I do not like camping.
55. I have never had an allergic reaction to anything.
56. Although, I did OD on vitamin C when I was about 7. My mom's fault. She didn't keep white sugar in the house. I was desperate for a fix.
57. I made a pair of pants when I was 14. Then wore them to school. I dreamt the entire night before I wore them that a seam unraveled and they fell off me at school.
58. I remember very little about my childhood.
59. I volunteered at a soup kitchen in Berkeley.
60. I cannot say things I don't mean.
61. I cannot tolerate insincerity.
62. If I think someone is insincere, I can't get away from him or her fast enough.
63. There are few things I love more than being made to laugh really hard.
64. And a good massage.
65. When I was in 8th grade I was one of four 8th graders that got to welcome Michael Dukakis to our town for his rally.
66. I have to deliberately avoid the cleaning supplies aisle at the store because I want to buy everything.
67. I have never broken a bone.
68. I don't collect anything, even though I think it would be cool to.
69. When I was in Oregon last month I decided I would start collecting magnets for places I've been.
70. I have one crab magnet from Cannon Beach Oregon.
71. A few weeks later I went to a touristy place in Iowa and was not willing to shell out the $3.78 for a pig magnet that said "Iowa".
72. Thus effectively ending my venture to collect magnets.
73. I have way more patience for my third child than I did for my first when he was this age.
74. I don't feel guilty about that.
75. I believe in doing the best you can and doing better when you know better.
76. My children make me laugh at least once a day.
77. I mean really laugh, not just "ah, haha! that's cute!"
78. Yestoday Avee yelled, "Rocket on DUDE!" after winning a boxing match on the Wii.
79. It totally made me laugh.
80. I don't correct my children when they say something improperly.
81. I think it ought to be a crime to do so.
82. That is why my 5 year old calls fruit cocktail "fruit cock"
83. I did not start public schools until I was in 2nd grade.
84. I was waaaaay smarter than the average 7 year old when I started.
85. But with school procedures, I was totally retarded.
86. Negative people annoy me.
87. Your mom goes to college
88. Whenever my kids are misbehaving or act like deaf mutes on crack, I am convinced I'm doing something wrong.
89. I may or may not be right about that.
90. Being corrected does not bother me.
91. If the person doing the correcting isn't being a know-it-all jerk.
92. Some days I wish my children would stop growing.
93. If I could choose any woman in the world to be my mom, I'd choose my mom a thousand times over.
94. I do not get jealous.
95. Sometimes I'll say "oooh, I'm jealous"
96. But really that means, "If I felt jealousy, I bet I would be jealous now."
97. I think the nickname "Red" for redheads is the stupidest most unclever nickname in the world.
98. Well, "Tiny" for big men might be more stupid.
99. I do not like to be scared. At. All.
100. I used to fake coughing fits in junior high to get out of class.
101. I love to read.
102. I think my husband is one of the kindest men I know.
103. If I was a guy, I'd totally have a crush on Meryl Streep and Supernanny Jo.
104. I have a tendency to make fun of other people's stupidity.
105. It isn't nice, but I kind of can't help it.
106. I have been blogging since March of 2006 and I have never gotten a rude comment. This surprises me sometimes.
107. I think anonymous trolls must know how big I am.
108. I have never smoked a cigarette.
109. However. When I am pregnant, I crave cigarettes.
110. I do not know.
111. I do not enjoy the newborn stage. At. all.
112. I tried to change Danyo's name every day for the first 9 months of his life.
113. Jay would not let me.
114. Meany.
115. When I am sick or in pain, I want attention.
116. When I am sad or angry, I don't.
117. I love plums.
118. I don't care for any kind of dessert unless it's chocolate.
119. In day to day life I am not competitive, but when I play sports I get possessed and become crazy competitive.
120. It's unfortunate because I'm not very good at most sports.
121. I have never thought I am better than some one else.
122. Except maybe Oprah.
123. Because I am.
124. I have very little will power.
125. I used to tell people I was dating Steve Young.
126. I always thought people knew I was joking, but one day a group of people believed me.
127. And I felt awful so I quit telling that particular lie.
128. I love rain.
129. I have six brothers.
130. I hate bananas.
131. I am perfectly aware that my children are not the smartest, cutest, most amazing children ever created, but I do like to pretend like I don't know that.
132. I am not necessarily hyper-patriotic or anything but I get emotional anytime the military or War Veterans are honored.
133. I can't imagine being willing to sacrifice myself for a cause or for other people like that.
134. I like the idea of parades, but I have been to so few that are actually enjoyable.
134. The 4th of July one here would probably top the list of most disappointing.
135. I have never been on TV
136. I have been on the radio several times.
137. Don't read too much into that.
138. I was born in Oklahoma
139. In real life, I don't cry very easily.
140. Just when I watch things on tv like, people being reunited, or kicking a drug addiction, or getting voted off.

10 Things about Jay:
1. Sometimes when he's really trying to be funny, it's a total flop. Other times when he doesn't think he's that funny or when he's not even trying, he can be hilarious.
2. He makes me feel smart and likable.
3. He's one of the smartest people I know.
4. He doesn't act like a smartypants but he is, and I love that about him.
5. He likes my friends.
6. He thinks his friends are the greatest friends in the entire universe ever. I find that completely endearing.
7. If something or someone makes him laugh, he will laugh about it for days. Probably even weeks. Everytime like it's the first time he's laughed.
8. He is a good provider.
9. The one thing that deterred me from being interested in him the first time we met, is one of the things I love most about him now. He's very confident.
10. He's a great cook.

10 Things About Bo:
1. He is almost compulsively obedient. Sometimes I think "now is the time to rebel boy!" and he just can't.
2. He has a sharp sense of humor.
3. He does and says wildly inappropriate things without the slightest inkling that they are inappropriate.
4. He has an incredible memory.
5. It is very hard for him to be around people and not touch someone.
6. He will laugh hysterically at J quoting Family Guy.
7. He's a borderline pessimist.
8. He is my heart.
9. He is very Smith, in that he thinks he's funny when he's not. And persists in being unfunny even with plentiful evidence that he is not funny.
10. He loves deviled eggs, which he calls "doubled eggs".

10 Things About Avee:
1. She has enchanted us since the day she was born and she is entirely sweet and tender-hearted.
2. This gets overlooked when her stubborn and sassy seem so much more glaringly present.
3. There is nothing she loves more in life than being chased.
4. She notices everything.
5. She has never liked my singing, since she was born.
6. She was born self-assured.
7. She loves pink and purple, so she says, but has always gravitated toward the color yellow, even before she could talk.
8. She loves her Uncle David in a way that defies time and distance.
9. She is brilliant at outwitting me.
10. Her smile melts my heart.

10 Things About Danyo:
1. He can't talk but he tells jokes. And laughs at them.
2. He is very set on things being a certain way (doors closed, chairs in particular places, etc)
3. He smiles about 85% of the day.
4. If he's not smiling, he's screaming, and I'm losing my mind.
5. There is a sweetness about him that words cannot describe.
6. He loves riding in the car.
7. He is the biggest ball of sweet snuggle bum foofyface loviecakes I have ever seen.
8. He imitates things very well, and is always quite proud when he does.
9. He loves music.
10. He likes to be held by people he doesn't know.