Friday, February 29, 2008

Repair Man

I talk a lot about Avee's sassiness and you guys get to see some of it when I capture it on film. Just like most kids, she's 100% her self when she's at home with us, but a little different when others are around. A lot different, actually. She gets more quiet, she sometimes acts shy, and I really mean ACTS---I know for a fact she isn't feeling shy in the least. She's also quite obedient. Another thing she never has done and never will do--is perform. "Avee, count to 3!" she all but gives me the finger. She was like this before it seemed even possible for a child to be like this. Little things she would do with me at 6 months, as soon as she knew there was someone watching or expecting, she'd turn up her nose.

She also hasn't ever really been a big talker. She says what needs to be said to get what she needs to get. In contrast to Bo, who could talk so long, you could go to Taco Bell and get a value meal #17 hold the tomatoes with a Wild Cherry Pepsi, get back, eat it, vacuum the entire house, watch an episode of America's Next Top Model, and THEN he'd say, "Right?" or "Isn't that cool?" and you could say "Mmmm-hmmmmm" and he'd be off again. He was like that even before he could talk. He'd jabber with the same inflection as though he were actually saying something, but it was all nonsensical. Well, to us it was.

Well, Avee has started monologuing. She likes to recount entire afternoons for J or entire, laboriously long, unnecessarily detailed accounts of conversations with her friend Ella. It's cute because she has a tiny little voice and because she randomly interjects the words "but" and "just" throughout her sentences. Every "story" has one of the two phrases in it, "And then I just cwyyyyyy, I was sad but I cwyyyyyed." Or "And that make me SO MAD. But I was not vaarry mad, but I was just MAD." (I'm wondering if it's me, both of my kids do this, "I like it, but not very much, I kind of hate it" thing, is that normal?)

Well, this new chatterbox way is pretty much just at home with me and J. She gets this way with her 9-year-old best friend's mom. And it always strikes me as unusual when she does this.

And this may seem totally unrelated, but it is the main point of this entire post. I'm an excellent writer.

We have had a repair man come here that is totally and completely, hawt. H-O-T, hot. I can honestly say, since I became exclusive with Jay and especially since we've gotten married, I've barely noticed other men. I'm not even the type to ogle. But, it's unavoidable with this guy. The first time he showed up at my door I think I stuttered. I'm sure I gurgled some greeting as though it was intelligible. He's probably used to it. Frumpy, unshowered, bootcamp-workout-clothes-wearing, housewives gurgling at him.

The next time he came was about a week ago. Avee walked by the bathroom where he was crouched down and her eyes lit up and she turned to me and said, "Who's hees name!?" He told her his name and she tilted her head down with her chin on her chest and batted her eyes as she smiled one of her prize-winning smiles. I could.not. believe it.

That night I mentioned to J that the hot repair man had come by. And that I wasn't the only one who had a crush on him. J thought it was hilarious.

Yesterday he came back to replace the door he was repairing. Avee sat at the kitchen table coloring. And started talking nonstop. NONSTOP. I have never seen anything like it. "I'm Avee" she tells him. That's the other thing, she NEVER tells people her name. It's one of those things that is categorized in her little mind as "performing" and "what the man wants, that I ain't gonna give". Sometimes when people ask her name, she's bark at them, "I'm TWO. You're NOT!" but that's about as good as it gets. So, she tells him her name and then starts telling him her adventures. She found a "lay-dee bug in the bafroom and it was dayyyynjoh-rus and I didn't cwy but I didn't touch it because it's just daynjoh-rus and I'm just a little gee-rl..." She pulled out every card. These are cards she came to this earth carrying. I have NEVER known how to flirt. I have NEVER understood the "role" girls play to get the guy. It totally befuddles me. But here was my 2 year old, talking about something dangerous, how brave she was, how little and helpless she was.

When he left, she was still talking. He tried to be polite and not leave while she was talking, but she wouldn't stop. He said, "I'm going to go play in the snow now" and she said, "That's nice. I'm staying here to color. It's too cold out there for me. I'm just a little gee-rl."

When J got home, I couldn't wait to tell him about our little hussy. I said, "The repair man came today..." and before I could finish J said, "So, it was a good day for you, huh?"

It was a good day for BOTH his girls. :)


Lisa said...

That is hilarious!

I had a repair man come this week.....can we trade?

Luisa Perkins said...

Oh, this made me laugh so hard.

TheVasquez3 said...

a good day indeed!! mama needs her yey candy as much as she needs trash TV huh?

Barnecked Lady said...

The only repair men I get are old and not so easy on the eyes. )c:

Eric, Kristi, Mackenna, Charlize & Pierson said...

That it so funny. I couldn't stop laughing. Avee is so cute. Send your repair man my way when you're done. HEHEHE!

Michelle said...

Too funny!! Some girls are just born with it I guess. I'm definitely not one of them!! I couldn't flirt my way out of a wet paper bag!!

Traci said...

I've often wondered where one acquires those cards. Ave's got 'em all. THIS was hilarious.

I stuttered and blushed when I met this beeyouteefull guy in one of my classes last semester and felt so guilty that I thought I needed to tell him really quickly that I had a husband and three kids, and also needed to tell D immediately when I got home. He was not amused. So I keep my crushes to myself now.

Sarah said...

when you record everything else you could have recorded one of the kids and by change get the repair man on the video... wow then we all could see!!

oneday I have to tell you the story of my husband and niece.. it's great

Leslie said...

oh man, seriously, that is so funny. priceless, more like.

and, taco bell really has 17 value meals? or were you being facetious (sp?) because you're such a good writer?

Tori :) said...

LOL!! Next time hottie comes snap a secret pic so we can all see!!

No Cool Story said...

I vote for sara and tori's idea. Boy, if there is a HOTT repair man out there we must see proof!

No Cool Story said...

"...but it is the main point of this entire post"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hilarious you are.

S said...

Her next move will be to start breaking things!
N I was just wonderin any handman crack? LOL

glittersmama said...

So what's going to break next? ;)

Yeah, I am so NOT a flirt. One more thing we have in common.

Carrot Jello said...

You know what I'm thinking? (Because I like you so much)
I'm thinking that we need to start a Carrot and Angela mutual admiration society.
Or Angela and Carrot mutual admiration society, if you'd like to be first.
Let me know what you think. We could charge people for admiring us, and we could admire each other, for free!

Carrot Jello said...

Oh, and by the way, i almost choked on my cereal laughing, which could have killed me, but at least I would have died laughing.
Get it, died laughing?
Okay, whatever.

Carrot Jello said...

I kill myself.
Get it? kill myself?

Carrot Jello said...

wow, that sounded bad.

Millie said...

Avee likey de hottie.

Rebecca said...

Oh my gosh, I loved this post! How completely cute of her!

Next time the repair man comes, will you take a picture of him for us?

omar said...

For the record, I'm not at all interested in seeing a photo of the repair guy.