Monday, February 11, 2008

How To Effectively Take Out A Mommy Blogger

Or,
How My Life Went to the Pits in One Week or Less.

Geez Luh-weez!

Get a job. Get sick. Get baby sick. Get husband sick. Spend hours holding and nursing an inconsolable and inconursable baby. Maybe I mean insatiable. Get crappy sleep. Be lazy all day. House goes to pot. If you don't know what "goes to pot" means, ask my mom. She may have made up that phrase. Or it could mean something like "house looks like you are a busy smoking pot" and she doesn't know that and repeats it. Like the time she told my high school principal, referring to my brother, "Well, I guess he's SOL then, isn't he?" We were shocked as we stood there and watched her do it. The principal I remember, a very mono-emotive kind of guy let his eyebrows raise and a small smile cross his face. As we were driving away we asked her if she knew what "SOL" even meant. Sure she did. It means "So outta luck!" Actually, we tell her, it means....
She jumped a curb and cut off 4 cars in the half a block it took for her to drive back to the school and clear her name with our principal. So, if you want to know what "goes to pot" means, ask my mom.

I feel good, but still mildly overwhelmed by all the tasks at hand. I think that may mean I'm fully recovered.

J's still home sick.

The baby is crying again. I can't do anything for him, so I'm ignoring him. That's good parenting, right?

I'm leaving you with a coupla videos of healthier times.
A pillow fight and a sword fight.
Pardon the mess. I have...children.

Sorry about my often annoying, never funny commentary. If I could mute it, I would.

23 comments:

Millie said...

Poor Sick Mommy.

I love the SOL story.

I went around saying "FUBAR" before I was totally aware of what it meant (now I say it slightly less often and never around church leadership).

TheVasquez3 said...

wait...it doesn't mean So Outta Luck?

wow i need to get out more!

Liz said...

bwahahahaha I didn't know what BS meant, I thought it was "blow snow" whenever it is referring to making one great homework essay line into 2 pages single spaced. I was very quickly corrected by my mom when I told her I was good at BSing through a specific class.

Leslie said...

ok, i don't know what SOL means. i'm lame. it also took me a while to figure out BFE.
your kids are cute, sick or healthy. :)

No Cool Story said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
No Cool Story said...

Well, that was nothing but a big fail.

Anyway, Sorry Outta Luck!
I used to say "focus" but not anymore...

No Cool Story said...

inconursable
mono-emotive

I see you got the gift from your mama.

Traci said...

My house has also got the potsmoker look going on. But I think it's SOL when it comes to being cleaned any time soon. Hope you all feel better ASAP.

That video made me really glad that you are not a supermodel blogger. I wanted to watch two more minutes of Avee bouncing back with a pillow hit and bouncing right back up - she is amazing.

Rebecca said...

Hang in there!

I always have thought it meant So Outta Luck too.

S said...

Ditto CYM!!! LOL
I am so glad J wasn't the one without the pants on....whew. I kept trying to pan down to c more of danyo, my oh my he is cute.

S said...

RED just crawled up on the chair next to me. OH CRAP! She doesn't know how to get down thought lol.

MommyJ said...

I like your rug. And your kids are so stinkin adorable. That baby... my, oh, my. That smile could kill.

I can't get over Avee falling on purpose like that. Very funny.

And now for my confession... I don't know what SOL means, also don't know what FUBAR means. I do know what BS means. I say that one on purpose. BFE?? is that the same as BFF?

Barnecked Lady said...

LOL!!! I had to google SOL. lol. I told you, never a post I don't have to.

Sarah Tilley said...

i really hate to admit it, but back in my evil youth i actually said SOL (the unabreviated, uninitialized version).
i always thought going to pot had reference to how before indoor plumbing people used to use chamber pots, and you know where this is going.
you should get avee to play basketball for duke. she could fall down whenever an opponent gets anywhere near her and rake in tons of foul shots. :)

Sketchy said...

The bad thing is, I'm just now starting to feel really crappy and my house has already gone to pot (I already knew and used that expression so apparently your mom and I have something in common). So I shudder to think what it will look like in a few days.

I always do the spastic laughing thing while recording. Why do I do that?

Love the prat falls, she's a natural!

Sketchy said...

I also know what SOL means, just you know in case I had that much in common with your mom.

glittersmama said...

What does it say about me that I know what all of those R-rated acronyms mean?

Rebecca said...

i think SOL is somewhere out in BFE.. which I still think I don't undertand that one correctly either.. ask your mom..
Thanks for sharing the video.. I love Avees shirt.. and her hair..is that for real? Has it grown that much.. and so cute! Tell J to back off on the pillow throws..shes only 2.. ha ha.. and little danyo.. I think a visit is in order.. where do you live again!?!! :)

It's Just me! said...

I love you blog! I can relate to the sick family thing! YUCK! and I also can laugh along with the SOL story since my Mom said BFE once and we had set her straight on that one! Fortunately, it wasn't in a crowd or with the principal.

Luisa Perkins said...

I feel your pain; we've all been sick, too.

The first time P was a bishop, I used the word SNAFU at a ward party, then had someone tell me what it meant. Gotta love that action.

Sad No Cool Story said...

:(

Millie said...

I have a feeling NCS is sad because she doesn't get all these acronyms. We'll have to have a private little chat.

I tried typing out what FUBAR and SNAFU and BFE meant (without using the actual words), but I couldn't do it - I just felt dirty.

Kikibug said...

Dang, she throws a mean pillow! That is so cute! Sorry that y’all are sick! That sucks.
Did you know I ALWAYS say “My house has gone to pot!” hahaha I am laughing b/c I have no idea what that means, but my mom always said it too. I LOVE your mom’s stories.. never get sick of hearing about it. “bumping and grinding” ROFLOL!!!