Friday, February 8, 2008

The Last of the Medicated Kind

I am just today feeling even remotely like having my eyes open and not being flat on my back. And that's just because I'm a big girl. Deep down inside, I still want to be curled up in bed for hours on end. Sadly, I haven't had that luxury this whole week. Danyo is such a baby. He's all, "feed me now, hold me too, oh-oh, I think I need my diaper changed too!" Whatever man, it's your reputation, not mine.

I am more than a little shocked that a tiny three letter word could do this to someone as grand as me. Danyo's caught it. I tried really hard to avoid the kids this week. I also tried to not let them get my germs. Nursing Danyo made it almost inevitable. He's a little more like his father when he's sick. I woke up in the night thrashing and moaning from the sweats and the chills and the constant discomfort. I like the world to know of my suffering. Sometimes if J slept through any of my "vocalizing" I'd "accidentally" bump him. Hard. I do not like to suffer alone.

Danyo on the other hand, is a happy middle of the nighter. He was obviously uncomfortable, so he couldn't sleep. I pulled him into our bed and he partied for like 2 and a half hours. I would fall asleep and wake up to his tiny little closed fist rhythmically pounding on my ear. Or kidney. Accompanied by his two new favorite words, "Dyah! Dyah. Dyah..." I'd roll over and make eye contact, his face would light up and he'd change to, "Mumumuh! Muhmuhmuh!" All of this with a fever, snotty nose, and inevitably, body aches. If only we could all be so brave when we have the flu...

So, this morning I took Bo to school. He had in his school bag two framed pictures. One of him with his dad and one of baby Danyo. For show and tell he is supposed to bring "something he loves" to share. He was particularly happy to not be taking a picture of Avee. I go back and forth between being troubled by his attitude toward Avee and figuring it's "normal". Truth be told, I have no idea.

He got out of the van and greets his teacher with, "I know that my bag sho' is heavy today!"

It is that very kind of cuteness that just makes me want to grab him and cover him in kisses and never let him go. I was very mature though. I smiled, gave him a little push to get him out of my van, and drove away. I tell you, motherhood is hard.

So, when I got home, my neighbor was just loading her two kids in the car to take them to school. We've had tons of snow in the last 2 days and her car is sort of stuck and she can't get out. I was just about to step my tired, weary, sickly body inside and I glanced back. I got the pleading look. Before I can stop myself, I ask, "Do you need some help?" Not picking up on the verbal clues of slippers, pajamas, matted hair, bags under my eyes, halitosis (not verbal, but almost tangible), and knocked knees, she answers, "Yes, that would be great." I stand on my steps, completely overwhelmed at the prospect of actually trying to push her little rice grinder out of the snow. So I said, "Hey, let me just take them to school, my car's warm and cleared off---I'll just take them."

Now, these two boys have spent countless hours in my home. Countless.

She says, "Oh that would be so great, thank you so much!" I say, "No problem, just don't ask me to push that car out of the snow." In my head, of course.

Then she says to her boys, "Come on guys, get out of the car, you're going to go to school with...."

There's a long pause that ends abruptly in silence.

She doesn't know my name. At. All.

It made me laugh. Out loud. Fortunately I'm sick so my laugh evolved very quickly into a hacking cough and I could cover up my rudeness.

When I got home I told J the story (he's home sick, did I mention that?). He gave me a courtesy laugh (he's not rude like me, he doesn't get as much joy out of making fun of others as I do) and then asks me, "So, do you know her name?"

He's such a killjoy.


EarthBint said...

Hey hey hey! I'm the first commenter!

Well that made me laugh out loud :-) Such a killjoy. I would just die if that happened to me.

GWS - that's teenage code for get well soon :-) But I'm sure you knew that cuz your down withit!

The Child Family said...

I can relate to the "accidental" bumping! I too want the world to know the queen of the land is in great anguish! Otherwise how can you truly be appreciated?

Glad your feeling better! :)

Rebecca said...

Love the kill joy.. but its still worth a good laugh..I would of said.. you get a ride in her van.. or something of that nature.. and if you are doing her the favor, you don't have to know her name!! :) Tell that Danyo to shape up or his reputation will truly be tarnished!!

As for the bo and avee thing.. its normal, a bit of sibling detest is allowable. I often remind them of how they would feel if the tables were turned.. sometimes they could care less.!!

Carrot Jello said...

Okay, YOu?
Crack me up.
You're the first one to do so today.
It's like 3:00 p.m.

TheVasquez3 said...

oh this post was filled with awesomeness!

"Whatever man, it's your reputation, not mine."

was just the beginning of laghing myself silly!

Thank you!

No Cool Story said...

Just tell her your name is Nobody.

No Cool Story said...

Sorry you were feeling so sick.
I'd cried for you (because that's how nice I am) if not for the fact that I was already laughing really hard.

Laughter drowns tears.
Kinda like coughing drowns rude laughers.

Mary said...

You manage to still be funny while a sickie, way to go! I was not so funny last week when I had the same disease. I hope you feel better soon!

Oh, and if I were your neighbor, I would have used the easy "You get to go to school with Bo's mom..." or whatever. I am absolutely horrid with names - even names I know - but I would have totally accidentally laughed at your neighbor too :)

Epsi said...

so have i mentioned our neighbor across the street who has called me "elsie" for the past 8 years? i recall introducing myself to her mom who was visiting and she even commented that she'd been calling me the wrong name, and then last week i waved to her as i was walking to my car and she yelled, "HI ELSIE!"

Millie said...

"Whatever man, it's your reputation, not mine."

I'll take "Why I'm an Angela Fan" for $200...

glittersmama said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that "accidentally" bumps my husband at night.

(That's not supposed to be dirty.)

Beckie said... are too funny! I decided to poke my head out of the hole and didn't see my I thought I would comment. I think I caught your sickness...thanks. Some times a little sibling destest is needed, and why shouldn't you elbow him...they are big babies when they get sick...and we take care of their every waking need. But when we get sick it's fend for your self. So I say Good on ya mate!

No Cool Story said...

Epsi's commented reminded me we had a neighbor once who thought my name was Maria. I found out when she introduced me at a party.
It was pretty weird.

But I didn't say anything. Everyone called me Maria for the rest of the night. I felt like someone else.

No Cool Story said...

Fact: coat on shoulders beats zipped up coat (aka "totally cool")

Millie said...

I'm mad at David Letterman.

Sketchy said...

If only we could all be so brave as to party at your house all night while we have the flu? Did you really want that?

You are so nice, I would have gone home and kicked my sick husband out of bed and made him help the nice neighbor lady saying, "it's my turn to be sick."

And yes, that was totally funny. If she's one of those persnickity types who didn't laugh with you at the situation then it's OK you'd never really be good friends with her anyway.

Sarah Tilley said...

hee! that takes guts, letting someone you don't know drive your kids to school-- especially when they're hacking their lungs up. :)

hey, hope you're feeling better!

No Cool Story said...

I gave you an award.
(This is not a dream or a meds induced delusion. I really really did)

Luisa Perkins said...

Excellent, EXCELLENT story. And nice job being the good Samaritan.

I called my next door neighbor (whose name is Priscilla) "Phyllis" for at least two years. Hey, they're sort of similar, right?