Tuesday, February 23, 2010

If It Had SAID Cooperation...

I've gone to the gym two days in a row now. I'm pretty proud of that. I've gotten lazy in my old age. J has been working out every day since around the first of the year. I have visions of a Vin Deisel married to a Roseanne Barr and that gets me motivated. Sometimes. Roseanne's probably not overweight anymore. But in my day, back when I knew who was who, she was!

Today I went to the locker room and a sign I've seen a dozen times, caught my eye. It's a particularly meaningful sign to me because I disregarded it one day and almost got into a brawl. That story is only mildly entertaining, but I'll share it if you want. But the picture I took of the sign, it's WAY more entertaining.

A little presumptuous, don't you think? I haven't been coordinated a day in my life.

So, the story. It was a Saturday afternoon. Saturday afternoons at the Y are slow. There's a handful of die hards at the weights and maybe a van from the Boys and Girls club. Danyo was crazy about going swimming that day, and I fell for his charm and agreed to take him. Only, I didn't have much time. An hour, start to finish. So I grabbed our stuff and bolted for the Y. I took him in through the forbidden door. I know for a fact that that sign is for people who think it's okay to bring their 6 year old boys into a locker room full of naked ladies. They really get naked in there too, nothing like my other locker room experiences, in high school.

And I also know that kids from the high school next door were using it and weren't supposed to. Thus, the sign.

Well, I walked in with my 2 year old. Because I am ALL about breaking the rules. There were two other women in there. One was wrapping her scarf around her neck, about to leave, and then the next row was a woman putting on her tennis shoes. I went to the third row and started shoving my stuff into a locker and sat to take off our shoes. I hear the first lady, Scarf Lady, mutter, "He's 18 huh?!" I rolled my eyes. I hate stupid people. People who don't know the difference between a two year old and an 18 year old are stupid.

I should have just rolled my eyes. But for some reason, the lack of eye contact, the annoying way she said it, and my sweet little cherub face--unfazed by large bosomed women---baby looking back at me, made me respond.

This is how the conversation went. Best I can remember.

"Clearly he's not."
"Well then he shouldn't be in here."

I ignored that.

She said, "Did you see the sign on the door clearly stating no one under 18 should be here?"
"I saw it. He's two, you really need to just get over it."
"You need to follow the rules!"
"How about you take care of your business, I'll take care of mine."
"This IS my business, I work here."
"Uhhh, no you don't."
"I do too, and when someone is breaking the rules, it's my business."
"I work here and I happen to know you don't."
"Well if you are a Y employee then ALL the more reason you should follow the rules!"

She said that from the door and she somehow managed to slam a door that is rigged to close slowly and quietly.

I was feeling a little badly about engaging in a childish argument with a stranger, and a little guilt about breaking a clearly posted rule, but mostly annoyed by this woman's approach. I had resolved to move my stuff over to the family locker, just in case the presence of a two year old was offensive to anyone else. About 30 seconds later, as we were heading out to the pool, a YMCA employee walked in. She kind of looked around, then looked down at Danyo and her eyes got big. My first thought was "Crap, now I'm really gonna get it" and she pointed at Danyo and said, "This is what she was all worked up about?"

I immediately felt bad that the lady had gone out and caused a scene. I asked what happened and the employee laughed and said, "She came out yelling and hollering about someone under the age of 18 being in here and how we better handle it, etc, etc." Then she laughed and said, "Wow, what a waste of energy."

I apologized and she said it was no big deal.

Afterward, I walked over to the family locker because I thought showering would be easier in one of them. They were closed---the other door was locked. Heh. Wish I'd known that before.

I wonder if I would recognize that lady if I saw her again. I'd recognize her voice.

The best part about ALL of it was that after she left and we were ready to go to the pool, Danyo walked out to the main area and pointed his finger menacingly and started giving his two cents. No one was there, but he was sure doing a good job defending his mama.

We saw about 3 other people coming through the locker room when we were leaving. I was all braced for another confrontation and all of them talked to Danyo, said how cute he was, etc. He responded by pointing at them and yelling, "STOP!" and some other unintelligible but clearly mean things. Because we never saw the lady, aside from briefly passing by her, he had no idea who was being so mean. It kind of surprised me that he understood it was confrontational. Guess our tones weren't very friendly. I mean---mine was, but I'm sure hers wasn't. :)

That's my story. I'm so going to get a scolding email from my mom when she reads this.


Heffalump said...

Wow...I am not a confrontational person. Although, in that situation, I might have been.
I bet Danyo looked cute lecturing people though.

Rebecca said...

I would of done the same thing.. or at least in my mind I would of! I love that the employees laughed when they saw how old cute little danyo was.. should of taught him to say.. wrinkly old lady..or something like that..you were after all just coordinating!!

Adolescent Family said...

You go Nobody! That particular Y has given me troubles before too. I really don't like stupid people either. They are obnoxious.

glittersmama said...

Poor woman has nothing better to worry about. She probably waits for the mail man and the trash man to come by, so she can yell at them too.

Cindy said...

Always breaking the rules.....

I think it is kind of funny how you always have confrontations with stupid people.....they always make me laugh.

Charlotte said...

You uncoordinated person, you.

The other day I was in a stall in a public restroom and some lady brought her 10 (I'm guessing) son in to use it. I wish they had a sign posted in there, it was a little awkward.

I'm sure the lady was humiliated that a male saw her naked neck. That must be it.

Sherry said...

I have never been in such a naked locker room... it was quite possibley one of the most scarring events in my life. It is probably better for children to not be exposed to that specific locker room. SCARY! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. HILARIOUS

Bryant and Jodi said...

Ok I am glad I am not the only one who takes my small children in!!

Klin said...

I heart that Y employee! My sentiments exactly.

Danyo defending you is awesome.

You should point out to that lady, if you see her again, that you just aren't into coordination. Bahahahaha

Tori :) said...

You did what I would have done. Except I usually stutter when I'm trying to be tough and end up sounding stupid. You don't.
I love how she said she worked there. lol

Sarah Tilley said...

i think it's amazing how that chick tried to intimidate you into obeying by LYING.

liars are always wrong in my book.

and you're definitely more coordinated than i, at least verbally.

Anonymous said...

LOL its not like you were going in a liquor store or bar....for crying out loud some people need to just get a grip. And BTW I would totally have taken my 14 mo old in there too. Steff