Monday, February 1, 2010


Well hello there internets!

It's been too long. I can't let February start out without a post from Nobody. I told my friends yesterday that Groundhog Day was my favorite holiday. I was only half lying. I think they probably went home and prayed for me. How can you not love a holiday based on a rodent and superstition? I mean, if that isn't awesome, I don't know what is.

Mostly I want to write about my kids. SURPRISE! I thoroughly enjoy them right now. They're manageable and delightful and funny. I am none of those things right now. True story.

Ah well, I've had my time.

So the other night I came home from the store after the kids had all gone to bed. I wonder if J's noticed my consistent ability to disappear just before bedtime routine starts, and come home long after the last straggler has given up and fallen asleep. Shhh, don't tell him.

Anyway, Avee and Danyo heard me and came downstairs to see me. Danyo looked like a little drunk Opie in his mistmatched, too small pajamas and crumpled hair. His eyelids were heavy, but he had to be where the action was. When I turned around and saw him I said, "Hey little boy, what are you doing out of bed?" He immediately started searching his hands and fingers for an owie to show me. The only problem is, he didn't have one. But it made me laugh. That thar's my boy. In contrast, there was Avee, a couple of steps behind him. Her staying-up-past-bedtime skills are more refined. She batted her eyes, tipped her chin, sidled up to me and whispered, "I heard your voice and I just wanted to give you a kiss."

Works every time.

Yesterday even before church I had decided that Bo needed a nap. So, after church, I broke the news to him. It was met with shouts of joy and exuberance.
"You always say crying means tired, but it DOESN'T!" he accused me.

I said, "I only cry when I'm tired so I'm pretty sure I'm right. And you know, you would be more convincing that you don't need a nap if, instead of crying, you tried a different approach. Don't you think it would be more believable if you came up to me nicely and put your hand on my shoulder or something like that and said, 'Mom, I know you think I need a nap, but I really don't think I'm that tired, could we talk about this more?' Pretty sure that would convince me, more than whining and crying."

A lot of what I say appears to fall on deaf ears, so I assumed this was the same. Only, a few minutes later, I turned and there was Bo, standing in front of me, with his hair all wet down and combed to the side. He awkwardly placed a hand on my shoulder and repeated my above statement, verbatim. I told my best friend about it, as it was her birthday and we had called to sing to her. She told me it would be cruel and unusual punishment if I made him take a nap after that. He combed his hair for me and everything! I did make him lay down for a little bit but he and Avee got the giggles and it was a futile attempt after that.
See this face?
I cannot get enough of it. Turns out, he can't get enough of me either, so we make a pretty good team. Unless I need some space and quiet. Then he pretty much drives me insane. He's my third child, but he's my first child to be a clinger. I'm not really cut out to be the mother of a clinger, so it's difficult for me at times. I have to remind myself that tomorrow he will be 6 and a half and not want me to come have lunch with him at school because he's shy and doesn't like the extra attention. So for now, I let him literally run into my butt when I stop walking, I'll trip over him getting the laundry, I'll make myself carry him up the stairs in the laundry basket full of clothes, I'll let him do it LET HIM DO IT all day long, because it really doesn't last.

Avee stole again. She stole a little toy mouse from my friend's house. I found it in her back pocket later that night. She got in pretty big trouble with us and then she had to call my friend and apologize. My friend is an expert talking to little 4 year old cleptos. I was impressed. I kept watching Avee try to be cute and funny about it and it was falling flat. Reminiscent of most of my dating experiences, actually. Sherry didn't let her get away with it and hopefully her talk had more effect than what we've done. J told her that grownups that steal go to jail. Later, Avee brought this up with me and said, "So, how long do you have to actually stay in the jail." She was weighing the pros and cons of having a small toy mouse and 30 days in county!!!

And lastly, I think my just-barely-started-talking two and a half year old has potty trained himself. Bo was a month shy of three and Avee a month after three. I believe in waiting and taking all the pain out of training. But I keep catching Danyo in his little Gollum squat (he came up with that on his own, he's never seen anyone in our house do this).

Today's the first day he's worn underwear though. I'm hoping his love for Thomas will keep him from peeing on him. And I mean, the train---not my nephew.

Well, that's pretty much the extent of the excitement in my life. My hair-combing smooth talker, sweet faced clepto, and gollum squattin' pee-er. I ask you, what more could a girl want in life!?


Heffalump said...

I hope you are copying your blog posts and saving them somewhere... I think your kids will love reading these things when they are grown.
The Gollum Squat is kind of presssssious. I just hope he doesn't fall in.

MommyJ said...

Holy cow, the squatting baby is hilarious. First I laughed, then I cried a little because really, I'm just jealous. I so want Henry to be potty trained before this next one comes along... whenever we talk about it, he tells me that he's not interested and that he will not use the potty until he's three. Or fwee... if we say it like he does. Funny thing is, he gives me this look, sort of have rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders like I'm the one that's crazy for even suggesting such a thing. I mean, use the potty before your three? What planet do I live on?

I won't push him though, cause I've got this big stomach to work around now and I don't have the energy to potty train a kid who isn't really excited about it.

Maybe I should show him a picture of Danyo... it might just convince him how cool potty using really is.

InkMom said...

I just realized I've missed you.

And you ARE SO funny.

Alicia said...

The squatin' pee-er is hilarious!

Charlotte said...

I laughed and laughed about your son coming down and quoting your argument for not taking a nap. Hair wetted and combed for added effect. That is hilarious!

I waited till my kids were three, too, or showed extreme interest. Gollum squat does sound pretty extreme. He doesn't call anything his "precious" does he?

glittersmama said...

I'm pretty sure you told me something about J squatting to pee...

S said...

If there ever was the potential for two cousins to pee on each other I see it in Danno and Thomas!

Super L said...

If you wanna see the King of the Groundhogs, head over to my old backyard and hang out near the Paradise Tree for a while. I'm sure the new owners won't mind.

Sarah Tilley said...

henry's birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. i'd like to cordially invite y'all to attend his party.
yeah, it's a long drive, i know.
seriously i'd love to meet your family in person. :)

Code Yellow Mom said...

I miss you. :)

Klin said...

Why can't you be my neighbor? I would so love to see those precious babies of yours on a frequent basis and in real life.