Sunday, March 15, 2009

Conversations That Have Made Me Laugh

Me: You do know what "WTF" means, right?
Friend: No. But hey! What does S-A-H-M mean? I think I figured out, I think it means "sexy and hot mama." I saw it on this one girl's blog and I didn't know what it meant, then I figured it out and I was surprised that she was calling herself that!
Me: HAHAHAHHAAAA! That's hilarious. It means, stay-at-home-mom!
Friend: Oh.


J: Come help me
Me: Okay, hang on though (clicking on my sitemeter) I just have to make sure no pervs are linking to my blog. Okay! Looks good, no pervs today!
J: I guess that makes your blog impervious, huh?


Me: Avee, you have two choices, you can either sit quietly on the bench, or you can sit quietly on my lap, what's your choice?
Avee: A spank! I choose a spank. Just don't do it very hard.
Me: (Laughing too hard to hide from her)
Avee: I love it when you laugh like that Mom.
Me: Spanking is not a choice. How about this, you choose to sit quietly or you'll get yelled at, do you want to get yelled at?
Avee: No-I mean, yes! Just do it quietly and not very long.

Bo: Is Avee still up in her room?
J: No.
Bo: She already came down?
J: Bo, guess how many seconds Avee spent up in her room.
Bo: 70?
J: None. She spent no time upstairs in her room. And you know why? Because she weasels out of everything. The ability to weasel, that's what separates us from the animals.
Except the weasel.

Me:
(on the phone) Do you have any yellow cake mix?
Jay:(after I hang up) I don't see what the big deal is, if Iraq buys a yellow cake from South Africa. Heh heh heh.
Me: blank stare
Me: was that a joke?
Jay: yeah!
Me: Don't tell jokes that are not funny and make people feel more stupid.

Then J explained the joke and it still wasn't funny and still made me feel stupid. I totally win that discussion. And I keep score of discussion winners.

28 comments:

Andrew said...

J's joke is pretty funny for news wonks. It made me laugh.

CoconutKate said...

J's joke reminded me of the Get Smart movie, which DID make me laugh. so I got a little chuckle. My favorite, the weasel one... :0)

S said...

Personally I think every one would rather be a sexy and hot mama. It sounds so "fresh"

Code Yellow said...

I've refrained from calling myself a SAHM. But NOW...I think it fits. Heh.

I'm going to verify the cake mix joke with my husband. But he also likes jokes that are not funny and make people feel more stupid. So I think you did win that one anyway. :)For sure. Make sure and mark it on your discussion win tally board. I imagine your tally board to be something like, "J - 10, Nobody - 250, Bo - 3, Avee - 1,963,875,354 (mostly by weasling and/or making someone laugh really hard), Danyo - yet to score." Am I close? Except of course, that all the digits are stick marks in groups of five, of course.

Camille said...

My favorite conversation was the one with Avee. That's just hilarious. She's quite the tricky little girl.

Klin said...

Avee!!!! She's a sharp one. I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall when she goes to school and her teacher tries to discipline her.

I didn't get J's joke either. I'm with you. You won.

Tori :) said...

I wanna hear the whole cake mix joke. I feel left out.

I think it's funny when I see people using WTF. It's actually pretty bad but they still use it anyway.
When I use SAHM I totally DO mean Sexy and hot mama. What else would I mean?

Sister Pottymouth said...

How do you keep track of all of those? Every one of them made me snort. What a great feeling for a Sunday afternoon...(sigh) I wonder if Bo knows about booger air?

ucmama said...

I thought having thumbs separated us from the animals?

If that's not what does it, then I'll feel pretty stupid for making fun of my dog cause he can't turn door knobs...

The Queen said...

oh just send your friend to my castle.. the name of the entire blog is..

WTF? won't take them long to figure out what it means...

Cindy said...

Personally I think you have the funniest kids ever. Your conversation with Avee about sitting still and she asked for a spank instead...hilarious.

PS..you need to stop pretending that you are sick. NO one is sick this much. UH, unless it is morning sickness...then I understand!

InkMom said...

Impervious! I love this man!

No Cool Story said...

"I love it when you laugh like that Mom"

Her mom goes to college.100%

No Cool Story said...

WTF = Who Takes Finals

It's for college people.
Hey Nobody, WTF?

Rebecca said...

wtf.. from one sahm.. to another.. ha ha.. sounds like the meds have worn off.. hopefully your feeling better!!!!

omar said...

Wait, Nobo's pregnant?!

Is J different from Jay? Because if so, I can't keep up.

Plain Jame said...

I'll have to think about the weasel one, it made me laugh, too! I'm a "weasely and hot mama" I guess. Only thing I could come up with before 9am...

Heffalump said...

I have had my kids ask to be spanked instead of doing a time out. This makes me think that my spanking skills are lacking somehow.

Mikelene said...

To be a (laughing) fly on the wall at your house! Except for that joke. I didn't get it.

Michelle Garff said...

ask your friend if she knows what BFE is. thats my favorite.

ucmama said...

Yellow cake uranium!


OK, I feel better now

Mycurlyhairdays said...

Glad ucmama is here and reading the news! Thanks lady! (I did read that, but some people have lives!)
I, too, adore the conversation with Avee. She sat next to me at church and we had our own special conversations. She keeps things interesting during the High Counsel speaker! Just teasing!

Super L said...

That impervious joke is totally a Big M style funny. I'll have to share it with him.

Sarah Tilley said...

yellow cake is that stuff you make bombs with, right?

henry's kind of like avee in weaseling out of stuff, but avee's much more clever about it i think.

Suzanne said...

Aren't both definitions of SAHM one and the same??? ;D Yeah, I'll be called sexy if anyone wants to say it!

Sarah said...

Avee is classic..


and "S" did you just say "fresh" hehehe

Carrot Jello said...

Dear Nobody,
Will you please re-write your comment on my blog?
It...had an accident.

aubrey said...

okay. so i read your blog posts, more specifically the conversations you sporadically post from time to time and i want to comment something witty. but mostly i'm just thinking, "man, my life is so boring and I AM boring and uncreative and not funny." then i leave and try to pretend it is not true. then i come back here and am reminded it is true. that didn't quite come out as a compliment, but believe me, IT WAS.