Avee's Third

Dear Avee,

To say I wasn't immediately enchanted by you, would be a lie.
You entered the world fiesty and with purpose. When the doctor held you up for me to look at you, you were waving your head around, your little mouth suckling at the air, frantically looking for food. I couldn't believe you were mere seconds old, already with an agenda.
You slept through the night your first two nights of life. You led me into a false security that you would be easy. You have made me earn with blood, sweat, and many, many tears every single smile, giggle, hug, and "I love you" that you have given me.
The truth is Avee, it is completley worth 543 of your fits for just one of your completely beautiful smiles.

You have accomplished in under 3 short years with your father what I have yet to come close to achieving in the 8 years I've known him. He is totally and completely wrapped around your finger.

I have to be honest. A little part of my heart is broken that you have turned 3. It's hard to believe and even harder to accept that you are growing up. You came into the world with opinions and a definite personality. Over the last 3 years we've gotten to watch you learn and grow, and finally be able to express all those opinions you were born with.

You brighten my days Avee. When you wake up from your naps and call out as you are coming down the stairs, "Maaaaaa-muuuuuuuuh, Avee's awaaaaaake!" and warn me that your sweet smile and mussed hair are about to come down to me, it makes my day.
As confusing as you are for me sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way. The other day I was recounting a very odd conversation I had with you, for your dad. He told me I should write it down. As a sort of warning for your future husband.


I was combing your hair and putting it into pigtails. You don't mind having your hair done. So I was completely baffled when out of nowhere you said very sternly, "Mom, I don't like you AT ALL. I just hayte you. Don't talk to me anymore, I don't like you." I started to fake cry and tell you how said that made me feel. You've never seen my cry before, so you were intrigued, but not in the least bit dissuaded from your rejection of me. I have no idea where you hear those kinds of things.

I told you that you didn't mean those things, that they aren't nice to say.

You told me to stop talking, and that yes, you did mean it.

So I tried a different approach. I said, "You don't hate mama, you love mama. Who makes you eggs to eat, who gets you cute shoes to wear, who takes you to Ella's house?"

Listening, but not convinced.
"Who reads you stories? Who gives you hugs and kisses? Who loves you bigger than Texas?"
"Mama does, but I just don't like you," you answered.

"Who takes you to McDonalds?"

Your eyes widened. A bright smile spread across your face. "YOU take me to Oak-Don-odes Mama! You do!"

"See?"

"Ohh, I love you mom. I just love you."

Then 2 minutes later you came and found me in another room to reassure me that you love me. And to find out when we could next go to McDonalds.

You're trying out new behaviors, new phrases, even new emotions--so I'm not too worried. Someday you will understand better what you are saying and the effect your words can have. But for now you are learning, and I am learning lots about you. And I'm documenting because I PROMISE you were like this when I picked you up.

I absolutely adore you Avee. In every way that you are, in every thing that you do. You more than anyone have taught me the beauty and magic of unconditional love.

You are my sunshine. Even if you won't let me sing it to you.