Soooooooo....

This might be TMI but I'll keep it as kosher as the subject allows. It still makes me laugh, so if it makes me laugh, I'm forced to post about it.

J and I started a new "eating plan" today. This was after a weekend of crazy indulgence in Mexican food and Mexican-like food. Just for simplicity's sake, if it has beans and onions and tomatos, it's Mexican-like.

Then today, we started our new, high fiber lifestyle.

After an hour of bootcamp, 34 oz of water in that hour, and a lovely snack of a crisp apple---I dropped Avee off at her friend's house, ran for a quick visit to a friend who's due with twins any day, and then headed off to get Bo from preschool and a quick trip to the grocery store.

10 minutes into the quick trip to the grocery store, the fiber bar and plum, 34 ozs of water, 1 hour of exercise, and large crisp apple all came a'knockin'.

Knock, knock they say.

I'm used to knock knocks. We are inundated with ridiculous knock knock jokes mealtime after mealtime after mealtime. I did what I do to most knock knocks, I ignore it.

KNOCK KNOCK, a little "louder".

Not now, I say. I'm right in the middle of getting some chicken thighs.

Suddenly, in the middle of deciding if I wanted chunk feta or crumbled feta, it was not a discussion, it was an emergency. I made my way to the restroom that is through the stock room. It's a small restroom with 2 stalls and a lock on the outer door. I push the entire cart in because Danyo is strapped in the front and Bo has to use the bathroom too. It's just easier than having to hold a squirmy kid in a bathroom.

Weeeeeeellllllll, this is where I stop giving TMI and tell you what makes me laugh.

Seconds after I get inside, someone knocks on the door. Well, it's locked. I'm pretty sure locked door is universal for "ain't gonna open til I'm done wid my bi'ness." Am I right?

So I figure, the person was just checking.

No. She was not. She was just beginning.

She knocks again, and Bo yells, "Come in!" Well, Bo is almost 5, but the boy sounds like he's 2 on the phone or through closed doors. He just has a young sounding voice. So, a person of average intelligence might be able to assess that an invitation from a "two-year-old" isn't really all that valid. I called out more loudly, "Just a minute please!" I had made Bo wait to use the bathroom so that one of us could keep an eye on Danyo.

Quickly, I begin helping Bo because when I help, we avoid the full on, practical licking of the stall doors that seems to happen when I leave my children to their own devices in dirty, germy, places.

She bangs on the door.

I call out, "almost done!"

I have been in the bathroom a total of maybe 90 seconds.

Bo's quick. Thinking there might be an emergency, I open the door as we are washing our hands. There's really no room for another person to fit in, but since she's already knocked 3-4 times, despite my pleasant, through-the-door communication, I figured she would do what she had to do.

I open the door with one hand, dry my hands on my pants and quickly grab the cart to maneuver it out the door.

She glares at me.

I smiled sort of apologetically.

She snarls.

As I'm pushing the cart and pulling on Bo, she growls, "ExCUSE you!"

It totally made me laugh.

I'm thinking that today, just a leeeeeeetle more than her bowel was irritable.