Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The One Where Nobody Has a Heart Attack

Often when I am sitting at the computer, Bo or Avee will climb up on the chair and sit in the nonexistent space between me and the back of the chair. I have tried to fight it, it's not comfortable, but they both can't help themselves, so I've given up and let them.

This morning was no exception. I haven't had a chance to read blogs much lately, so I sat down this morning to indulge. Within a few minutes, Avee had scaled the chair and me, to finally settle in her favorite little spot.

I can feel her playing with my hair, but I was engrossed in stories of people flashing mall goers, broken arms, kids being chased by dumb dogs, getting called out for being a slacker, reading about tornados, etc, etc, etc.

Suddenly, Avee's little hand reaches around me into my line of sight, holding a large clump of my hair.

My heart did stop beating. For a millisecond I was dumbfounded. Speechless.

"I cut yo' hair mom! See! It's sooooo pretty!"

I started screaming. Not mad screaming, but I was in such shock and I was laughing and I COULD.NOT believe I had just sat there and let my THREE YEAR OLD cut a chunk of my hair. It was like 4 inches of hair! I keep grabbing the back of my hair, feeling for the bald spot.
I kept screaming too. It was, I'm sure, a very odd combination of hysterical screaming and hysterical laughing. Avee had scrambled off the chair to safety, but stayed close to watch the show. Bo came running from the other room to watch my tribal dance-scream.

I couldn't find a bald patch.

I kept looking at the chunk of hair. It's MY hair. How did this happen?! It's my hair. I look at Avee's head, her hair isn't thick enough to look like that and my hair is darker.

Still laughing, still yelling.

I look at the chunk of hair again.

How could this happen!?

Then I hear Avee say, "I cut the rubboh band opf too!"

I look on the floor and see the green rubberband that held together a braid of my hair, cut off when I was 16 or 17 years old. I had just eliminated a couple of bins of junk, and that braid was in it and has been floating around for a couple of days.

I do not have a bald spot.

I also no longer have a braid of15 year old hair.

Probably a good thing.

30 comments:

Suzanne said...

LOL! I would have been screaming too! That's good that your hair looks exactly like it did when you were 16. Mine is speckled with much more gray now! :0

This is one of those stories that you'll have to tell Avee's fiance someday! :)

omar said...

Ha! Too bad there's no video of the screaming tribal dance.

Hey, that was me who called you out for being a slacker! I indirectly got mentioned on Nobody's blog!! Though now that I type that out, I see that given your choice of screen names, it's probably not something I should openly brag about.

Bryner Family said...

Oh my gosh! That is so hilarious! I would have freaked out too. Luckily you realized there was a braid laying around and didn't run to the hair salon to have them fix your bald spot. They would have been a bit confused. :) Hee hee hee!

Rebecca said...

oh thats good.. I would of loved to hear the screaming/hysterical laughing/screaming/crying/discovery/and more laughing.. :)

S said...

NO waay. And you didn't call me. This is unbelievable, April fools on the fifteenth. A new tradition.


Are the kids still allowed to sit there????

S said...

ps did she do a good job..... do you look hot?

S said...

Okay my bad I miss read. That was funny! Mom said to she better wrap that hair up again. She needs to see how her hair changes.

Beckie said...

Holy Cow!!! I was frekaing out, saying "Ohhhh...Ohhhh no, oh no she did not just cut here mom's hair off!!!" I can only imagine how you felt. But I couldn't help laughing my pants off, as I visualize your "tribal dance".

Liz said...

that is too funny - ROFL

Cindy said...

I could just see you now, screaming and dancing around the house. You make me laugh!!

glittersmama said...

I SO wish I could have seen that. Holy cow.

Sarah said...

What did your husband say?? what does Avee say about it now after the fact?

Sarah said...

I guess you will never forget this IRS day 2008, as if tax day doesn't have enough stress

iowamom said...

That's the most hilarious things I've heard all day! Pretty sure I wouldn't have been laughing...I'm so glad your hair is safe and sound!

No Cool Story said...

Showed ya who DA BOSS really is, didn't she?

And I believe this is just a warning.

Yeah. Next time she'll get you for reals. Might shave yo eyebrows or something.

Mary said...

That is hilarious! I can totally envision the screaming, freaking out! How funny!

Emily said...

I think I just busted a rib laughing.

No Cool Story said...

Never meanin' no harm.
Nevoh.

No Cool Story said...

PS: Like that?
:)

Leslie said...

my friend's mom had an old braid in a shoebox in her closet. it was seriously like the freakiest thing i'd ever seen when i was 9. i do believe i audibly gasped and jumped back the first time i saw it. it was like looking at a dead body.

so anyways, i'm glad you don't have yours anymore. heebiejeebies. :)

seven said...

Yeesh. My sister kept one of her braids from back in the day for a long time too... I finally convinced her to get rid of it. That's totally gross. But it made for a hilarious story at least.

Carrot Jello said...

Wow.
That's all I've got.
I'm speechless.

Barnecked Lady said...

LOL...could you get that on video next time?

Tori :) said...

LOL! Oh my gosh! I would have freaked!!
I'm so glad you don't have a bald spot= although I'd be asking for pictures right now if you did...

RING LEADER #2 said...

That would have been a paid ticket event in my circus! Do you carry your show on the road?

The Child Family said...

Avee, your #1! WAY TO GO!

Can I come over and you guys can rein act that out? I will take video, Im sure its not the same the second time around, but I promise, I'll still laugh. Hard. :)

Lisa said...

You kept your hair for 15 years?! THAT is funny! Oh, and so is Avee!

Aparelho de DVD said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shar said...

That is too funny!

I came over from HolleeAnn's blog. Can I just say that Better Off Dead is my favorite movie, and I love that you quoted Lane Meyers in her comments. Thank you for making my day! Now I need to go watch it.

Sarah Tilley said...

had myself a good chuckle, thanks!