Monday, March 24, 2008

The Aftermath of the Easter Bunny

This is the part where I wonder what the heck I'm thinking trying to photograph three kids 4 and under after the Easter baskets have been fully raided.

I was in love with Avee's dress. In. Love. I thought I had cornered the market on most adorable Easter dress ever. J dressed her in it, I primped her, I encouraged her peacock strut and dancing twirls. I beamed with pride at every compliment over it.

I came home and my brother looks at Avee sitting on the couch and notes, "She looks like a Dunkin' Donuts commercial."

Um yeah. I tried to rework my view the rest of the day. All I could see was a coffee cup and a donut box when I looked at her.

I think he needs to reimburse me for that dress, he totally ruined it for me.

Monday morning and I'm seriously rethinking the stupidity generousity of the Easter Bunny. It's like he doesn't know what entire chocolate bunnies and Reese's peanut butter eggs by the pound do to a child.

Avee is flopping around the floor from one dramatic fit to another. She's so busy fitting, she scarcely has time to finish one before she begins another. In her defense, they are fits over things like torn yogurt lids, unpeeled eggs, and the audacity of the mother to try and dress her.

Bo is just consistently citing his likes and dislikes. Mostly dislikes. Of all the shirts in his closet, I always manage to pull out the ones he hates the most. He doesn't even evoh like the shirts I choose. And later, it was the vowels. He doesn't like any vowels. In fact, he hates them all. Except maybe "O". Kind of. Yeah, he likes "O".

O is for oscillate.

The only one who hasn't suffered an overdose of sugar is making up for it with an overdose on asparagus. Uhhh, are babies supposed to have asparagus? Methinks it has caused a raucous upon his digestive tract.

In other news, we've had lots of fun visitors in the last week and a half. It started Thursday last with a visit from Aunt S and Grandma. That was totally awesome, to quote my boy quoting "The Incredibles". It was too short of a visit and Grandma instilled in Bo a very hearty passion (note, I did not say "healthy) for collecting aluminum cans. Part of my mom's eternal quest to beautify this grossly littered planet. Now her sweet grandson has enlisted in the cause. Much to her delight, and our amusement.

Nextly my friend "Breitmama" from St. Louis came. She brought her SIL, her 7 year and twin 5 year old girls. We finally were in the majority around here. J spent a good part of their visit just trying not to get swept away by all the estrogen. Just kidding. We were a pretty mellow crowd. And when I say mellow, I mean, the cravings for chocolate and the talk of childbirth experiences were kept to a minimum.

My friend spent the entire 2 and a half days here doing my laundry. I really don't even know what to say about that. Except that a) I have no shame and b) I bet YOU don't have a friend like that. She's amazing. And that was even before all the laundry-doing.

They left Saturday morning and Saturday afternoon two of my brothers came to visit.

Now, what's so exciting about Freaking Middle of Nowhere, Iowa you ask?

I'll tell you.

It's me.

I bring it all. And if and when I leave, I'll be taking it with me.

My brothers are great company. We had Pho. We listened to bad jokes. We gorged on Easter candy and Avee spent the entire time chasing, enticing, screaming, laughing, getting knocked down, and laughing some more at my brother's 9 month old "puppy". Some Siberian, Alaskan, Samoan, Samuri type dog. He told me his breed more than once. I can't remember. I do know however, he is NOT the same size as my 9 month old. But about as michevious. Bo commented at dinner last night that he would like for the dog to leave because he "chews on evwy-sing we have". My brother Jonathan said, "Shhhh!" as if I hadn't noticed.

My oldest brother stole my husband. Something that required steel-toe boots and a hard hat and J was in. It could have been anachonda hunting, but if you have to wear a hard-hat---say no more.

And finally, I would like to leave you with this gem of a conversation with a coworker, as yet unmentioned in this blog, that I had last week.

Me: My friend's husband works for the CIA and the..."
Him: You're not supposed to tell me that!"
Me: (feeling a little shocked and confused) Tell you what?
Him: That he works for the CIA!
Me: Uhhh, do you know my friend? Do you know where they live? Do you know what he does for the CIA?
Him: You aren't supposed to talk about people who work for the CIA.
Me: So, why do you think I know?
Him: Your friend has a big mouth.
Me: Hmmm, I'm thinking you're kind of ignorant, why on earth would you think it's okay to say something like that to me?
Him: You shouldn't know he works for the CIA!
Me: Dude, lay off of the spy movies.
Him: You shouldn't say your friend's husband works for the CIA anymore.
Me: You're being ridiculous
Him: No I'm not, I'm 100% serious.
Me: I know. That's why I said you are being ridiculous. Besides, didn't you even see True Lies? Arnold's own wife didn't know he worked for the CIA. If it was a secret, like you are assuming it is, then even my friend wouldn't know what her husband does!
Him: Oh yeah, that's right.

Yes folks, it took me citing TRUE LIES for me to have any credibility.
The funny thing I was even going to waste my time telling this dude was, that the people who work at the foodcourt for the CIA, like McDonald's employees, can tell people they work for the CIA. Isn't that funny?

I thought so.


seven said...

I love that dress! It's too cute.
And the CIA story? Hilarious.

Barnecked Lady said...

THE EASTER BUNNY ROCKS, and so does the dunkin donut dress!!!! lol. I love it! DO they have one in my size?
P.S. Is your coworker HOT, he sounds like it? lol.

glittersmama said...

I think boys are stupid when it comes to girls' clothes. I love that dress!

And your coworker sounds like a little bit of a moron.

Traci said...

Between Dunkin' Donuts and the CIA food court (how do you know they have a food court?!), I'm hungry. And no peanut butter eggs in sight. Hmph.

Raucous asparagus. That also sounds yummy.

That color of orange is BEAUTIFUL on your children - they are so peaches and creamy anyway, but wow. So cute. Even after the Easter baskets.

And now for a totally unsolicited tip: If the hating shirts (and other such things) is becoming a regular thing, pick out two or three shirts that you're OK with Bo wearing that day and let him choose between them...I figured out that Cal hated everything because I was making too many choices for him. Insulted his 5yo-ish-ness.

leslie said...

i love that dress. besides, what does a boy know about fashion anyway.

Millie said...

They have McDonald's at the CIA??

The dress is totally cute and I guess I don't see Dunkin Donuts enough to have it remind me of that. I love the kids' cute matchy outfits. :)

I wish we were co-workers, then we could have conversations about stupid stuff...

And you've seen True Lies? I'm shocked. :)

Rebecca said...

love donuts, love avee.. and the EB is crazy.. chocolate and kids.. they are still twitchin..

No Cool Story said...

Leave it to Bo to know exactly say :)
Do your kids look great in any color? I believe they do.
YAY! Grandma and Aunt S! Uncles! Friends!

No Cool Story said...

What is it with you and Carrot bragging about their friends today?

And who is going to do your laundry now?

HEY! Are you expecting me to do that too?

PS: It's you!

Beckie said...

I would like to meet a McDonalds CIA employee. Do the get paid better than just the average McDonalds Employee, or do they have to get paid the same to keep up their non-CIA involment alter ego?

The Child Family said...

All to great! Adorable kids, family, and friends! Wasn't there a really GREAT friend that holds your child while she sleeps for 2 hours and you eat your easter dinner? Yeah, she's great too! :) I enjoyed your Easter too! Thanks for letting me crash your party. :)

Sarah said...

Great pictures. Can I print one?

Anonymous said...

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No Cool Story said...

Sorry, I had to run to Target and forgot to close my window.

Hey! I don't think it's fair that you wrote so many cool things in ONE post. As I browsed all the pretty things at Target I thought about all the many comments one could make about any of the many stories you shared. And then I thought "That Nobody is not playing fair...she wrote all those awesome stories and how can I even start to comment on ALL of them?...huh? HUH?!?!?"

Your kids are super duper cute!

Tori :) said...

Dunkin Donuts... LOL!!!

I heart you Nobody. You always make me laugh. And if you can post pics of your hot handy man I will heart you even more. I'm just so curious. So, yeah... that was a random comment.

Cindy said...

Your kids are adorable and so is the dunkin donuts dress!!!

I have not expierenced the aftermath of easter candy yet. Probably next year!! We love sugar, so I am sure he will be on a sugar high with all of the candy the bunny will bring him.

I have had conversations like the one you had with your co-worker before, and I love movies so I usually have to use one to explain something. It is weird, it is like a light bulb suddenly goes off for them...and they suddenly get it. Like I was lying before and now I am telling the truth because I used a movie to explain myself. It is weird!

Sarah Tilley said...

my sister habitually comes over and cleans my closet. usually she does this unsolicited, because she's so disgusted by the mess. i have no shame when it comes to my sister cleaning house for me. the last time she cleaned my closet i actually asked her to help me clean the attic as well.

Amy said...

I love that you went with orange. They all look great.

True Lies is a very reputable source, no worries.

stacy{s} said...

love the orange. tré chic, not dough nuttie at all. Totally impressed you got them all looking at the camera and happy. we can't seem to do it with a 2 adults vs. 1 child ratio.

love it when you document a conversation. its so life-like. especially when dealing with persons with Very Little Brain.

alicia said...

Love the stories and your telling of them. You are a genius!

The outfits are VERY cute. I am in love with the posing done by Miss Avee!

Happy Easter!

Emily said...

Oh that charming Avee!
Those pictures are classic -

Sketchy said...

I wuv the whole Easter Orange theme you have going there and Avee's dress has cornered the marked on Adorableness in Easter dresses.

Man I miss dressing my girl in frilly cuteness.

PS: I work for the CIA. The frumpy overweight Homemaker bit is just an act. Don't tell anyone.

S said...

I scolded the brother for you! He also said he wasn't doing Branson this winter for ma and pa. When did he start thinking everything was about him? Gosh darn I wish he wasn't mothers favorite!

S said...

ps I wanna see the handy man too. I believe that is why I took the road trip in the first place, but the kids fogged my motive.

S said...

Sorry i didn't even do one load of laundry for you but could you give her my address....STAT!

BreitMama said...

S - I all it takes is an invite and enough laundry detergent to last through all the loads and I am there. Also, I pointed out her cabinet door that needed to be fixed and even tried to tear it off its hinges, and no dice. She wouldn't call the handyman. Who knew she was so stingy like that?!

Kim said...

LOVE THE DRESS!! Are you going to share where you got it????? Loved the stories as always....

No Cool Story said...

BreitMama speaks!
Ah, she'll do laundry and fix doors.
What else can you do?


AndrewP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Physcokity said...

You know what's even more funny? Those people who work at Mickey D's in the food court at CIA can't have their friends come visit. Oh yes and the typical person can't even go into the "gift shop" only employees can go bwahaha.

Fashion tips from a man who's favorite wardrobe pieces consist of steel toed boots and a hard hat? Think again.

TheVasquez3 said...

i love love love Avee's dress. the pink and oragne is seriously cute, and your brother is a poopy head for TRYING to ruin it with that dunkin' doughnut did NOT work with me tho...i still love it! and the matching orange vest and polo??! WAY TOO CUTE!

MommyJ said...

I have a picture of Lucy from two years ago, wearing that very same dress... or atleast one made out of the same fabric. I loved it then... and I love it now.

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