Friday, December 7, 2007

For My True Love

Dear Texas,

I am sorry. Please take me back. I never meant to leave you. You are the only one I've ever really loved. I am sorry I got distracted by the bright lights and the big.......
okay, the...........well, by the appealing lack of visits to your monstrous DFW airport to drop off my baby daddy.

Babies Daddy?

Baby's daddies?
Hm.

I don't care that sometimes I went to the store in shorts and upon returning had to rush inside and put on a sweater. Or vice versa.

I don't care that we could and did fry eggs on the sidewalk in April.

I don't care that your infestation of fireants gave my babies welts when we were new to you and didn't know what they were capable of.
Nothing matters to me anymore besides returning to your ever-lovin' arms. Back to your warmth and the absence of ice scrapers and snowsuits in our Texas home.

We want nothing more to do with this stinging wind. The numb toes just from walking from our house to the car; the ever present fear of falling flat on our rears everytime we step outside.

My children wail for you from the back of our van every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning when we have to take Bo to school. They don't have the words to express the pain they feel, but it sounds like this, "TONE ON THE HHHHHEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAATOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" and "AAAAAGHHHHHHH MY CHEEKS HOTE!" and the likes.

It's only December 7th and I've already said, three times more than I have ever wanted to say, "Not in the face! Do not throw snowballs in the face" and of course, one time is too many times in life to say, "What made you think putting snow in my pants was a good idea?"

I want to laugh again Texas. I want to laugh at the Texans who had seat warmers in their cars. I want to laugh at people shivering in 50 degree weather.

Whatever it takes baby, let's work this out. You are my #1 priority from here on out. No more trips out of state, no more cursing your insane heat index, no more taking you for granted. I won't even swear about the ridiculous deregulated electric companies who swindle serve your great stateness.

And uh, since we are on the subject of working things out, could you get my baby daddy a job there?

XOXOXOXO,
Nobody In Iowa

12 comments:

Barnecked Lady said...

It's about freaking time you came to your senses!!!! It's 7:30 am right now and 65 degrees. brrrrrrrrr. lol. I think we might get a cold front soon. lol.

Leslie said...

i'm so sorry you're so cold. we've been turning our heater on if it's below 60 at night. :)
i don't know how you people live in that freezingness. poor bo.

S said...

ditto i am coming to pack the house.You will c the enthusiam in this move. I bet I could have the whole house done in a day. The "big" truck fill the next! ps I c it finally snowed!

MommyJ said...

well, you've made me feel better about the winters here! It's cold... but no snow yet. We get it so infrequently that when it does come, it is really, really exciting. Guess you're past that point huh?

glittersmama said...

You're right with baby daddy. I'm a pro at 'hood speak. Just ask my sisters.

We've got the nasty snow and freezingness too. I do like that I have a good excuse to not leave the house though. I'm such a laze.

Long Day With Short People said...

Hahahaha! A good friend of mine just moved to Iowa from Durham, NC so there is similar weather shock going on for her family. But she is originally from Minn. so I think she might be wondering when the REALLY cold weather is coming. Hang in there. (Easy for me to say from Coastal VA, huh?)

Barnecked Lady said...

IT's 75 now!!!

megachick said...

welcome to the north, my friend.

Tori :) said...

I'll tell Texas "Hello" for you next week. Come visit me!!
My mom texted me to let me know it was 80 as I froze my butt off in 20 degree weather.

Lisa said...

I'm headin' to Texas myself this Christmas and am hoping for 80's! It just wouldn't be the same! But Cali is good, too! No snow, lots of sunshine and no humidity...think about it!

No Cool Story said...

That's the bestest picture of Bo I have ever even never dreamed to ever never hope to see.

That picture beats the Pfeck and "Gifted" Picture.

Amy said...

Come on! We're here with open arms. It was 83 on Friday! I had to turn on my A/C while driving to buy more Christmas lights.