Monday, September 10, 2007

Because Nice Really Does Matter

Bo just told me he was "so bon sirsty". He really doesn't say things incorrectly anymore, which is, I'm sure good for him socially, but sad for me because I do love me a good speech impediment. The translation of that phrase is "So darn thirsty." For some reason he thinks the appropriate "fake" expletive is "barn" rather than darn. Probably because we never say inappropriate words around here--he just doesn't have enough exposure to get it right.

Speaking of Bo. I'm not one to air dirty laundry, but I feel like I'm having a whale of a time with him right now, and maybe someone who reads this will have some helpful insights.

Maybe it's just having a 4-year-old but I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY on his case. He can't just be. He bugs Avee incessantly, he can't spend more than 20 minutes outside with other kids without doing something totally obnoxious to another child, usually hitting in some form or another. It's not violent or aggressive, but just completley unable to keep his hands to himself. Just now he wouldn't stop grabbing Avee and trying to throw her to the ground. Sometimes she likes wrestling, but this time she was saying no and he doesn't listen. After 4 times of her screaming, and me asking him to stop, I sent him to go lay on his bed and he screamed "SHUT UP!" as he was going. Generally, this reaction makes me laugh. He's so mad and that's the worst thing he can think to say.

This behavior comes and goes. He's the kid who opened the refrigerator this weekend after I had cleaned and organized and said, "Mom, this is an awesome fridge!" and compliments my meals at dinner. And tells me I have bad breath. So, you know---he's honest.

I guess I'm less concerned about him and "what's wrong" I mean, he just got ousted as our little boy, he just moved from one state to another leaving all kinds of good friends and familiarity, etc, etc. If it's just a phase, I can live with that. But I am concerned about me, as a parent. I'm not sure I'm responding as I should or giving him what he needs. That is, if he needs something besides a smack upside the head every other hour. Just kidding. I only smack on Tuesdays.

In other news---Today is my friend T's birthday. Go tell her happy birthday if you haven't already. You can read all about how cool I think she is here, if you are up for some reading. :)

And in other other news, I started boot camp today. I have been totally nervous about starting it because I am so completely out of shape, but I just took the plunge. It was wonderful. Everyone was really friendly and introduced themselves to me and encouraged along the way and nobody laughed hysterically at me when I got down on my hands and knees and crawled the remainder of my "killer" which is sprinting to various points across the gym. One girl made it her mission to make sure I would come back. Her theory is, if you meet everyone, there are more people for you to be "accountable" to. Pretty good theory. If they seem me in the cardio room on a treadmill going 2.8 mph, they can call me by name when they call me a loser. That's good, I'm sure.

And she is the reason for my post title. Her kindness REALLY mattered to me. I was nervous (I rarely get nervous, if ever) and I felt really out of place with all these little, tanned, muscular, in-shape men and women. She really made the difference in how my hour of boot camp went. I worked out for an entire hour. We did this thing the instructor called "the plank" which is holding your body straight like a board, above the mat with just your feet and forearms touching the mat. I couldn't really do it. I was all sweaty so my arms kept slipping, plus, I was holding up CONSIDERABLY more weight than anyone else in the class. I just told 'em, this plank done been walked on too much, I can't keep it from sagging. Might be some water damage too.

This is a long and rambly post. If you made it to the end, I really think we could make this relationship work.

I'm off to eat a chocolate malt do more lunges.


glittersmama said...

Dang--I mean barn--those "little, tanned, muscular, in-shape men and women."

This girl got on the machine next to me today with her hair and makeup all done up. It was only 9:30 in the morning. Oh well, I was sure looking good in my plaster white face and bedhead.

I'm not a pro on 4 year olds yet. I'll be coming back to you for advice in 3 years.

Tori :) said...

That boot camp sounds fun! If I lived near you we could suck together!!
Your 4 yr old sounds like my 4 year old. They must never meet...

Alicia said...

You are very brave to go to boot camp. Things like that terrify me.

I'm with glittermama, I'll be asking in three years. Haven't you written posts about doing your best and being present is the most important thing? Those have meant a lot to me as I continue adjusting to the imperfect art of mothering!

No Cool Story said...

You didn't tell me you were going to Boot camp. So this is how I find :( right. And now I'm not even Teh #1 commenter anymore :( It's like I'm failing Nobody. Barn. I have failed Nobody again and again. Waaaa.
I think Bo is just too smart for his age and he needs an outlet for his smartness.
(Don't quote me on that. I don't know my left from my right)

Bryner Family said...

Ben sounds very normal for 4 years old. I am on Jill a lot lately too but she's about to turn 5, so I'm sure it'll be smooth sailing from then on! :) Try hard not to laugh when he tells you to "shut up!" or else he'll do it more for the attention. If my lil' sweetie yells something mean or even slams her door, she gets an extra punishment. Lately she'll just throw a pillow at her door when I send her in there. Doesn't hurt anybody and it's a vent for her frustration, so it works for me!!! That's all the sage advice I have! We miss you guys!

Sketchy said...

Bo sounds like a 4 year old. I think you are right to just keep on keeping on. Trouble is he just got smarterer and is having trouble knowing when to use his new skills in life. He'll settle down.

Make sure you smooch him up good when you catch him doing something good. Even if you have to really dig for it, lol. "Great job eating with a fork Bo! It's so nice to have a boy who really knows how to eat!!!" Or you know whatever. Sooner or later the positive praise will have him aspiring to good things. Plus it helps you keep your sanity if you are trying to spot the good things as well as the contain the bad things.

You rock! Supposeably September was going to be my get back in the gym month after an abysmal August. Hmmm, not happening yet. Maybe I need to introduce myself to a few people.

S said...

Oh for pete sake girl you just spent 18 mths with Rebecca and Amilee :) if you can do THAT a whole room full can't be that bad! I feel ya! Just take em to cheesecake factory ASAP! I know I need to change my motto......if you can't join them corrupt em! I'll work on that! As for BEN I agree with NCS again. Maybe you should hook him up with a BLOG. This can really suck up some time:)

Code Yellow Mom said...'s just a phase and it's also being normal boy. They express feelings more often with something physical than with words (even fake swear words ;)) - I won't overburden your comments with a long dissertation about this, but maybe I'll e-mail you a funny that David filled me in on about what girls think is mean and what boys think is making friends - pretty true and pretty hilarious.

I've found that a minute or two of something physical from me - whether it's snuggling or wrestling (so NOT my thing, but sometimes needed) goes a long way with curbing the need to be in everyone's bizness.

And thanks for the happy birthday.

I'm starting my run/walk regime. Ugh. Oh, the things my fat butt can't do...

Dawna said...

I felt like I was reading my own (unwritten) diary when I was reading about Bo. Sam is perplexing to me lately and it makes me doubt whether I am giving him all he needs. Sorry I'm not alone and glad I'm not alone. As I read about your boot camp I ate 2 pieces of toast with LOTS of butter and jelly and decided I actually need 2 more. Ah well. Maybe next year.

Beckie said...

Sorry Nobody, Caseys perfect! OOHHH I almost got through writing that with out busting a gut! It's just boy stuff. Their weird. Give Bo a big old hug from Beckie and tell him he needs to go out and make sure there are no Iowa bears lurking around, so I can come and visit! That should keep him busy for a little while

Rebecca said...

As for Bo.. he's a smart kid and that will only keep growing with time!! :) This too shall pass, but in exchage for older different problems.. the joys of motherhood. I think you must refer to your previous blog of repetative phrases.. it never ends!!!!

Barnecked Lady said...

I say you got the wrong person in BOOT CAMP!!!!! LOL!! JUST KIDDING!! you rock and your kids do too. It only gets better from four. hehehehehehehe!!!!!!

S said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luisa Perkins said...

Chocolate malt: you've totally earned at least five.