Courtesy of The-Fireplace-That-Must-Not-Be-Named
Friday, August 17, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Size Does Matter
So, there are 5 gazillion kids in this neighborhood. And they all have a magnetic draw to my doorbell. J's already disengaged it. That was yesterday after the 39th ring in an hour. Granted, half of the rings are Bo asking a question.
There are a LOT of children between about 2 and 6. There's a darling little redhaired girl, about 6 years old who wants Avee to come out and play and Avee isn't easily swayed. It's sort of funny to watch my 2 year old size up a 6 year old and hem and haw about whether or not she wants to play with her.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, noooo. Saw-ee, not today, I watch Caillou!" She says that, even when Caillou isn't on. Two year old version of, "Tell her I'm in the shower!"
So, there's a darling boy across the street who is only about 4 months younger than Bo; but he's quite a bit smaller. With these teeny little eyeglasses. Yesterday he knocked on my door and asked to play with Bo. When I told him he couldn't, he politely said, "Oh, okay. Well then, could I draw on your house?" and held up a Bic pen. I laughed right out loud and scared the little dear away. Bet you've never been asked that.
However, next door, there's a big boy, about 6 or so. At least he's the size of a 6 year old. But he can't talk. He says the words, but I can't understand a blessed thing he says. I have to be very careful because if I pretend to understand him and offer a polite, but unknowing, "Uh-uh, sure!" he'll walk off with our DVD player. Because I said he could.
Bo prefers to play with him. He can't understand him either. But he's big. And that's all that matters. Today Bo told little "K", "I don't want to play with you, I want to wait for someone bigger to come home." I gave him a stern talking to for that.
We do not judge people by their size.
We judge them by their annual income.
There are a LOT of children between about 2 and 6. There's a darling little redhaired girl, about 6 years old who wants Avee to come out and play and Avee isn't easily swayed. It's sort of funny to watch my 2 year old size up a 6 year old and hem and haw about whether or not she wants to play with her.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, noooo. Saw-ee, not today, I watch Caillou!" She says that, even when Caillou isn't on. Two year old version of, "Tell her I'm in the shower!"
So, there's a darling boy across the street who is only about 4 months younger than Bo; but he's quite a bit smaller. With these teeny little eyeglasses. Yesterday he knocked on my door and asked to play with Bo. When I told him he couldn't, he politely said, "Oh, okay. Well then, could I draw on your house?" and held up a Bic pen. I laughed right out loud and scared the little dear away. Bet you've never been asked that.
However, next door, there's a big boy, about 6 or so. At least he's the size of a 6 year old. But he can't talk. He says the words, but I can't understand a blessed thing he says. I have to be very careful because if I pretend to understand him and offer a polite, but unknowing, "Uh-uh, sure!" he'll walk off with our DVD player. Because I said he could.
Bo prefers to play with him. He can't understand him either. But he's big. And that's all that matters. Today Bo told little "K", "I don't want to play with you, I want to wait for someone bigger to come home." I gave him a stern talking to for that.
We do not judge people by their size.
We judge them by their annual income.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Sunday Morning
I was busily working in the kitchen, alphabetizing my spices and finding the last big box of kitchen stuff a home. No small feat in this ridiculously small kitchen.
J was playing with the kids in the living room and said, "Well, we better start getting ready for church now."
I sighed loudly. I can't be bothered with the salvation of my soul when I'm only to cumin in my spice endeavor.
A few minutes later he says something he's never said before and I'm certain will never say again.
"Do you wanna just skip this week?"
I looked around at the clutter and boxes and unusable kitchen but I played it cool and casually responded, "Oh, whatever you want sweetie..."
Then, about 15 minutes later J, playing horsey with the kids, decided the horse needed a drink. Bo walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. We were standing nearby, barely paying attention, but we heard the refrigerator door close and Bo casually mutter, "dammit" as he walks back into the living room for some more popcorn.
We weren't sure we heard him right. He seemed so nonplussed for having just flung out a swear word. I mean, everyone knows, around here, you have to have a REALLY good reason to say that word. Like, forgetting your purse in the house after getting the kids loaded in the car...
"Um Bo, why did you just
say that?"
"Say what?"
"Uhh, dammit."
"Oh yeah. My cream soda was all gone."
I think we need to go to church today.
J was playing with the kids in the living room and said, "Well, we better start getting ready for church now."
I sighed loudly. I can't be bothered with the salvation of my soul when I'm only to cumin in my spice endeavor.
A few minutes later he says something he's never said before and I'm certain will never say again.
"Do you wanna just skip this week?"
I looked around at the clutter and boxes and unusable kitchen but I played it cool and casually responded, "Oh, whatever you want sweetie..."
Then, about 15 minutes later J, playing horsey with the kids, decided the horse needed a drink. Bo walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. We were standing nearby, barely paying attention, but we heard the refrigerator door close and Bo casually mutter, "dammit" as he walks back into the living room for some more popcorn.
We weren't sure we heard him right. He seemed so nonplussed for having just flung out a swear word. I mean, everyone knows, around here, you have to have a REALLY good reason to say that word. Like, forgetting your purse in the house after getting the kids loaded in the car...
"Um Bo, why did you just
say that?""Say what?"
"Uhh, dammit."
"Oh yeah. My cream soda was all gone."
I think we need to go to church today.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Meme time cuz the baby is sleeping
I got tagged for this meme by Luisa at Novembrance and it's been a while.
The other two, I stole, just flat out stole from Code Yellow Hot Mama
4 things that should go into Room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth:
Boohbah
jealousy
cigarettes
fluorescent green
3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently:
when people say "alls" as though it's ACTUALLY A WORD
Smack their gum
make excuses or blame others
2 things you find yourself moaning about:
being overweight
taking care of a newborn
1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself:
Nothing too telling. I'm a snob and don't care for the newborn stage. :)
**********************************************************
My roommate(s) and I... once left for Thanksgiving break and when we came back, a new roommate had moved in and put up "decorations" all over the house. They were pictures torn from calendars (you know, like what you decorated with when you were 10 years old) like, whales, foxes, horses, etc. AND printed out stories from her emails. Like, the one about one-legged Timmy the soccer star. That particular story was pasted right in front of the toilet for our reading pleasure when we had to take care of business. I finally convinced her to take some of them down when I told her I met a soccer player named Timmy and I wet my pants. Looking back, it seems like nothing, but we were all pretty shocked and dismayed that our hovel had lost even more value in such a short time.
Never in my life... have I wanted to get drunk.
High school was... forgettable, for the most part. I wish I had tried harder or understood the benefits in trying harder. ie, scholarships.
When I'm nervous... you probably can't tell. I rarely get nervous. However, I did notice while on my mission that I would start making fart noises with my hands when I got bored. When I'm nervous I get the usual butterflies and hot, but I think I hide it well.
My hair... is atrocious right now. I used to have great hair I could get to do whatever I want (except be fine). I usually had to do very little to maintain it. Each child has subsequently destroyed that. Now it's nappy and wings out in random places and I got a helacious hair cut and I really don't want to talk about it anymore.
When I was five I...probably had a mullet, speaking of hair. I was homeschooled. I had a fat lip. I was probably a busy body. I loved little kids. I threw a pair of wet underwear at my 12 year old brother who made fun of me for wetting my pants. Nailed him too.
When I turn my head left...my "sweepy" bangs obstruct my view of Avee two inches from my face. I kid you not. Apparently she "needs" something.
I should be...finishing making dinner
By this time next year...I'll be older, wiser, slimmer, and not pregnant or nursing.
My favorite aunt is...huh. Don't really have one.
I have a hard time understanding...rude people. When we were visiting our friends in DC, we went into a metro station that was INSANELY crowded. One person in our group went to get a ticket, and the bulk of us waited to the side for him to return. While we were waiting, we found ourselves waiting next to another woman. After about 10 minutes of waiting and just seeing hundreds of people pass by, we were all commenting on how crazy busy it was. My husband turned to the woman standing near us and said, "have you been waiting long?" She was obviously doing the same thing we were. She stared at him and then said hostily, "Why do you need to know!?" Like he'd just asked her social security number. He was pretty shocked, as were the rest of us. He kind of recovered and said something about our friend getting us a ticket and wondering how long it would take. She said something even more rude and kind of stunned us all. My husband said, "Sorry to bother you," he was definitely being sarcastic, but the funny thing is, she said, "no problem." That actually made me laugh, but the whole experience made me just feel gross. It's rare that I've met a person that rude for no reason, but when I have, I just don't get it.
You know I like you if...I talk a lot. If I tell you. I email you. You send me things. :)
My ideal breakfast is...eggs benedict and perfect hashbrowns. Oh wait, that's usually what I order if we go out. I would love fresh fruit, all kinds, perfectly fresh, already prepared.
If you visit my home town...keep on a-driving. Just kidding. I don't care for it much, but that offends the people who still live there. There's lots of history there (here--I happen to be in my hometown right now...) and it's worth checking out. Once.
If you spend the night at my house...don't expect me to wait on you. I'm a much better guest than I am a host. If being a good guest means eating all your food and leaving messes everywhere. I'm excellent.
My favorite blonde is...Erica
My favorite brunette is...Sara
I shouldn't have been...wasting time on regrets
Last night I...nursed, laid down, and read Harry Potter all at the same time. Thank you very much.
A better name for me would be...Your Highness. My name is perfect for me, actually.
I've been told I look like...Molly Ringwald. My entire teen years. Darryl Hannah in my early twenties and more recently, Scully from X-files. Oh yeah, and a lady at Walmerts said I looked just like the baby. Really. She didn't say he looks like me, she said, "You look JUST LIKE heem."
If I could have any car, it would be...fuel efficient and seat many. Doesn't exist. But a girl can dream.
You should do this meme if you...have ever had stitches.
This is a one word meme
1. Where is your cell phone? couch
2. Your husband? far
3. Your hair? hell
4. Your mother? perfect
5. Your father? tall
7. Your dream last night? scary
8. Your favorite drink? alcoholic
9. Your dream car? paidoff
10. The room you're in? noisy
11. Your ex? marriedhim
12. Your fears? loss
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Graduate
14. Who did you hang out with last night? nieces
15. What you're not? insincere
16. Muffins? fattening
17. One of your wish list items? TV
18. Where you grew up? Missouri
19. The last thing you did? combedAve'shair
20. What are you wearing? nothing
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pet? never
23. Your computer? temperamental
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? mellow
26. Missing? J
27. What are you thinking about right now? water
28. Your car? Suhhhweet
29. Your work? neverending
30. Your summer? fast
31. Your relationship status? married
32. Tomorrow? stillmarried
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? July27th
35. School? for lewsurs
The other two, I stole, just flat out stole from Code Yellow Hot Mama
4 things that should go into Room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth:
Boohbah
jealousy
cigarettes
fluorescent green
3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently:
when people say "alls" as though it's ACTUALLY A WORD
Smack their gum
make excuses or blame others
2 things you find yourself moaning about:
being overweight
taking care of a newborn
1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself:
Nothing too telling. I'm a snob and don't care for the newborn stage. :)
**********************************************************
My roommate(s) and I... once left for Thanksgiving break and when we came back, a new roommate had moved in and put up "decorations" all over the house. They were pictures torn from calendars (you know, like what you decorated with when you were 10 years old) like, whales, foxes, horses, etc. AND printed out stories from her emails. Like, the one about one-legged Timmy the soccer star. That particular story was pasted right in front of the toilet for our reading pleasure when we had to take care of business. I finally convinced her to take some of them down when I told her I met a soccer player named Timmy and I wet my pants. Looking back, it seems like nothing, but we were all pretty shocked and dismayed that our hovel had lost even more value in such a short time.
Never in my life... have I wanted to get drunk.
High school was... forgettable, for the most part. I wish I had tried harder or understood the benefits in trying harder. ie, scholarships.
When I'm nervous... you probably can't tell. I rarely get nervous. However, I did notice while on my mission that I would start making fart noises with my hands when I got bored. When I'm nervous I get the usual butterflies and hot, but I think I hide it well.
My hair... is atrocious right now. I used to have great hair I could get to do whatever I want (except be fine). I usually had to do very little to maintain it. Each child has subsequently destroyed that. Now it's nappy and wings out in random places and I got a helacious hair cut and I really don't want to talk about it anymore.
When I was five I...probably had a mullet, speaking of hair. I was homeschooled. I had a fat lip. I was probably a busy body. I loved little kids. I threw a pair of wet underwear at my 12 year old brother who made fun of me for wetting my pants. Nailed him too.
When I turn my head left...my "sweepy" bangs obstruct my view of Avee two inches from my face. I kid you not. Apparently she "needs" something.
I should be...finishing making dinner
By this time next year...I'll be older, wiser, slimmer, and not pregnant or nursing.
My favorite aunt is...huh. Don't really have one.
I have a hard time understanding...rude people. When we were visiting our friends in DC, we went into a metro station that was INSANELY crowded. One person in our group went to get a ticket, and the bulk of us waited to the side for him to return. While we were waiting, we found ourselves waiting next to another woman. After about 10 minutes of waiting and just seeing hundreds of people pass by, we were all commenting on how crazy busy it was. My husband turned to the woman standing near us and said, "have you been waiting long?" She was obviously doing the same thing we were. She stared at him and then said hostily, "Why do you need to know!?" Like he'd just asked her social security number. He was pretty shocked, as were the rest of us. He kind of recovered and said something about our friend getting us a ticket and wondering how long it would take. She said something even more rude and kind of stunned us all. My husband said, "Sorry to bother you," he was definitely being sarcastic, but the funny thing is, she said, "no problem." That actually made me laugh, but the whole experience made me just feel gross. It's rare that I've met a person that rude for no reason, but when I have, I just don't get it.
You know I like you if...I talk a lot. If I tell you. I email you. You send me things. :)
My ideal breakfast is...eggs benedict and perfect hashbrowns. Oh wait, that's usually what I order if we go out. I would love fresh fruit, all kinds, perfectly fresh, already prepared.
If you visit my home town...keep on a-driving. Just kidding. I don't care for it much, but that offends the people who still live there. There's lots of history there (here--I happen to be in my hometown right now...) and it's worth checking out. Once.
If you spend the night at my house...don't expect me to wait on you. I'm a much better guest than I am a host. If being a good guest means eating all your food and leaving messes everywhere. I'm excellent.
My favorite blonde is...Erica
My favorite brunette is...Sara
I shouldn't have been...wasting time on regrets
Last night I...nursed, laid down, and read Harry Potter all at the same time. Thank you very much.
A better name for me would be...Your Highness. My name is perfect for me, actually.
I've been told I look like...Molly Ringwald. My entire teen years. Darryl Hannah in my early twenties and more recently, Scully from X-files. Oh yeah, and a lady at Walmerts said I looked just like the baby. Really. She didn't say he looks like me, she said, "You look JUST LIKE heem."
If I could have any car, it would be...fuel efficient and seat many. Doesn't exist. But a girl can dream.
You should do this meme if you...have ever had stitches.
This is a one word meme
1. Where is your cell phone? couch
2. Your husband? far
3. Your hair? hell
4. Your mother? perfect
5. Your father? tall
7. Your dream last night? scary
8. Your favorite drink? alcoholic
9. Your dream car? paidoff
10. The room you're in? noisy
11. Your ex? marriedhim
12. Your fears? loss
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Graduate
14. Who did you hang out with last night? nieces
15. What you're not? insincere
16. Muffins? fattening
17. One of your wish list items? TV
18. Where you grew up? Missouri
19. The last thing you did? combedAve'shair
20. What are you wearing? nothing
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pet? never
23. Your computer? temperamental
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? mellow
26. Missing? J
27. What are you thinking about right now? water
28. Your car? Suhhhweet
29. Your work? neverending
30. Your summer? fast
31. Your relationship status? married
32. Tomorrow? stillmarried
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? July27th
35. School? for lewsurs
Saturday, August 4, 2007
From the Midwest
I'm still living out of a suitcase.
I'm still completely overwhelmed and if we never move again, it will be too soon.
I still wonder HOW I accumulated so much stuff. And children.
I'm at my sister's house right now and apparently, the rule at her house, is, if I stay here, I have to blog. Only, what she doesn't know is, all the profound, insightful, unbearably funny things I blog about---I talk about in real life. So she's gonna get a bunch of repeats. Neener neener. That's what you get for giving me rules. I am a free spirit. Who answers to a 2 month old. And two year old. Oh yeah, and a 4 year old. Free, free, free!
I will leave you with a Bo quote, just to hold you over until I can sit down and write the two posts that are twirling around in my head. They are ever-so fascinating. They are as anxiously awaiting their typage, as you are their readage.
While driving down to my sister's last night, Bo fell asleep. He woke up suddenly and was distraught, crying, and saying "ow" over and over. I was immediately concerned and thought he might have been woken up by pain. I started asking with some urgency, from the driver's seat, "Bo, what's wrong, what hurts, tell me what is the matter, tell me what is hurting you."
He moaned and whined a little more.
I inquired more aggressively with the kind of compassionate, empathetic concern a mother has for her child and he finally answered.
"Your driving is what is hurting me."
I'm still completely overwhelmed and if we never move again, it will be too soon.
I still wonder HOW I accumulated so much stuff. And children.
I'm at my sister's house right now and apparently, the rule at her house, is, if I stay here, I have to blog. Only, what she doesn't know is, all the profound, insightful, unbearably funny things I blog about---I talk about in real life. So she's gonna get a bunch of repeats. Neener neener. That's what you get for giving me rules. I am a free spirit. Who answers to a 2 month old. And two year old. Oh yeah, and a 4 year old. Free, free, free!
I will leave you with a Bo quote, just to hold you over until I can sit down and write the two posts that are twirling around in my head. They are ever-so fascinating. They are as anxiously awaiting their typage, as you are their readage.
While driving down to my sister's last night, Bo fell asleep. He woke up suddenly and was distraught, crying, and saying "ow" over and over. I was immediately concerned and thought he might have been woken up by pain. I started asking with some urgency, from the driver's seat, "Bo, what's wrong, what hurts, tell me what is the matter, tell me what is hurting you."
He moaned and whined a little more.
I inquired more aggressively with the kind of compassionate, empathetic concern a mother has for her child and he finally answered.
"Your driving is what is hurting me."
Monday, July 23, 2007
I'll Be Peace, You Be Quiet
My sister has been here for the last week. She brought with her my 14 year old niece (to leave with me!!!!) her 13 year old son, and 7 month old baby and for part of the week, her husband. We have been piled on top of each other and at any given moment, 27 conversations have been going on at one time. Most of the time one or other of the babies are crying or squawking for his or her mama. And as a general rule, Avee is barking orders at one of her subordinates.
This morning was no exception as my sister and husband were trying to get their car loaded up to leave. A 13 year old distracted by cartoons, a post-nap baby who wanted her mama, Avee in need of a s'mores, etc. The noise escalated quickly and over it all, was a four year old trying to watch Jay Jay the Jet Plane, yelling, "Could I get a PLEASE get a PIECE OF QUIET!?!?!"
At which point, Avee came racing around the corning yelling, "I want a piece of gum toooooooo!"
Bo didn't get his quiet, but Avee did get a gum flavored jellybelly.
This morning was no exception as my sister and husband were trying to get their car loaded up to leave. A 13 year old distracted by cartoons, a post-nap baby who wanted her mama, Avee in need of a s'mores, etc. The noise escalated quickly and over it all, was a four year old trying to watch Jay Jay the Jet Plane, yelling, "Could I get a PLEASE get a PIECE OF QUIET!?!?!"
At which point, Avee came racing around the corning yelling, "I want a piece of gum toooooooo!"
Bo didn't get his quiet, but Avee did get a gum flavored jellybelly.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
It's My Bertday
I'm racing at no cautious speed toward my mid-thirties.
Yesterday I was wearing daisy dukes and flipping my hair over my shoulder like I was ALL THAT.
Now I am all that, and I have no hair to flip. Courtesy of the world's worst haircut. (So bad, that this is the first you are hearing of it, and there will be no pictures to prove my point).
Today my niece had on a pair of daisy dukes, oh, I'm sure they are called something waaaaaaay cooler these days, like "phat shorts" or "fo' shizzle shorts" or whatever, but they were similar to what I wore, just a few short years ago in my teens.
Only, I filled mine out quite amply...
ANYWAY! I about had a coronary when I saw her. Those things are SHORT. That's how old I have gotten without noticing.
Avee wanted to "see the birthday", when I told her it was my birthday. I showed her some crows feet, stretch marks, and love handles. She was about as happy about them as I am. I'm more gracious about it though, when she saw them, she cried. I hear that sister, I hear that.
When I was younger I always thought the "I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I have my family" line was so cheesy. And lame. But now that's me. I couldn't be happier. I could be skinnier, and that might make me happier, but I feel like I couldn't be happier. I have a family I adore and they are with me today. My house is usually messy and it'll take another 32 years before I can get a handle on that, but I'm okay with that. Visitors who have to shift piles of laundry to sit on Cheeto crumbs on my couch might not be okay with it, but that's okay too.
This morning I got lots of cards and presents and my sister took me to breakfast and I got an ENTIRE Cheesecake Factory cheesecake delivered to my door. If you've read my blog(s) for any length of time, you will probably not fail to notice the consistent tendency for my good friends to send or bring me food. I cannot tell a lie. There is no greater gift. There is probably a direct correlation between that and having love handles or wishing I was skinnier, but I'm really not that big of a correlater, so I can't be sure.
I got this VERY cool magnet from my sister and my niece. They gave it to me last night because they couldn't wait. I'm glad they couldn't, I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It pays to be Nobody.
That is all.
Yesterday I was wearing daisy dukes and flipping my hair over my shoulder like I was ALL THAT.
Now I am all that, and I have no hair to flip. Courtesy of the world's worst haircut. (So bad, that this is the first you are hearing of it, and there will be no pictures to prove my point).
Today my niece had on a pair of daisy dukes, oh, I'm sure they are called something waaaaaaay cooler these days, like "phat shorts" or "fo' shizzle shorts" or whatever, but they were similar to what I wore, just a few short years ago in my teens.
Only, I filled mine out quite amply...
ANYWAY! I about had a coronary when I saw her. Those things are SHORT. That's how old I have gotten without noticing.
Avee wanted to "see the birthday", when I told her it was my birthday. I showed her some crows feet, stretch marks, and love handles. She was about as happy about them as I am. I'm more gracious about it though, when she saw them, she cried. I hear that sister, I hear that.
When I was younger I always thought the "I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I have my family" line was so cheesy. And lame. But now that's me. I couldn't be happier. I could be skinnier, and that might make me happier, but I feel like I couldn't be happier. I have a family I adore and they are with me today. My house is usually messy and it'll take another 32 years before I can get a handle on that, but I'm okay with that. Visitors who have to shift piles of laundry to sit on Cheeto crumbs on my couch might not be okay with it, but that's okay too.
This morning I got lots of cards and presents and my sister took me to breakfast and I got an ENTIRE Cheesecake Factory cheesecake delivered to my door. If you've read my blog(s) for any length of time, you will probably not fail to notice the consistent tendency for my good friends to send or bring me food. I cannot tell a lie. There is no greater gift. There is probably a direct correlation between that and having love handles or wishing I was skinnier, but I'm really not that big of a correlater, so I can't be sure.
I got this VERY cool magnet from my sister and my niece. They gave it to me last night because they couldn't wait. I'm glad they couldn't, I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It pays to be Nobody.
That is all.
Oh, p.s. My astute friend Rebecca wasted no time in telling me I couldn't blog anymore because I had already made a big to-do about being soooooo busy and bereft about moving and whatnot. I would just like to say,
It's my blog, I can do what I want. Even lie.
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