Thursday, August 27, 2009

At Least It Wasn't A VCR

**UPDATED**
I'm still here. I yain't dead yet.

Today Avee stole a small bean bag from her preschool. Day 4 of preschool, and she's already a criminal.

My friend who brought her home said, "She didn't have anything when we left preschool, and she didn't get it from my house, so I don't know where it came from."

I do.

She kiped it. In her underwear. Why did I know this before it was actually confessed to me? Because I know the girl. I also recognized the bright flashing look in her eyes as she searched mine for a reaction. She was proud of her conquest. She thought getting it out the door in her underwear was both ingenious and hilarious. She's waiting for me to laugh about it.

I confess, the image is both hilarious and alarming for me. I don't want my daughter stealing. I don't want to handle things that have been in her underwear for an as yet undetermined amount of time. I wish I could have seen her walking down the hallway....

I could probably go for some good ol' advice at this point. I stole a candy bar once when I was about her age. I hid it from my mom until we were out of the store, so clearly I knew it was wrong. She took me back in to return it and let the store manager loose on me. To this day, if I return to that store, and see that spot in the store (behind the sunglasses rack) I will break out in a nervous sweat and double check my pockets/purse/cart. It was effective. I was ticked that my mom set the man on me, I remember thinking, "Was it really necessary to involve this man?" but I realize now, it was good and effective.

It's too bad that I didn't also develop an aversion to candy bars.

I'm going to wash the contraband. Then Avee is going to return it tomorrow and apologize. She has stated several times that she is scared to say sorry. I've assured her I will be right there with her, but that it is absolutely necessary that she do this. Firstly, I want the repercussions to be memorable and uncomfortably so. And secondly, she needs to make the connection that her doing this affects other people. I think that's the main problem---she operates in a world of "out of sight, out of mind" so she assumes everyone else does.

Probably more of a "in my underwear, you won't want it anymore" world, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

So you see, I'm not dead at all. My life is as full and exciting as ever.

Update: Last night when J got home I asked him to talk to Avee a little about her issue so that we could be a united front. Sometimes I delegate the entire responsibility of correcting wayward actions to J, but this time, I just wanted a tiny little, "Yeah, what Mom said" so that Avee could see we both felt the same. He could.not. do it. He lasted about 2.3 seconds and burst out laughing. Not sure if it was her expressions (very effective big, innocent blue eyes) or the image of her waddling out of preschool with a beanbag nestled in her underwear. Either way, he was absolutely useless. I'd just like the record to show that.

I called her teacher this morning to give her a heads up. I'm SO glad I did. I specifically said, "I don't want you to tell her 'that's okay' because it isn't and because that's all she will hear." I also didn't want to catch her teacher off guard, expecting her to perform with some great teaching moment, when it's a lousy ol' bean bag for crying out loud! Avee apologized and gave it back to her. Her teacher almost said, "That's okay." Avee has some magical power over grown-ups. Even though she didn't want to say that and knew I was there, taking notes, she still almost said it. Avee and those pitiful little sad faces...

Anyway, Avee felt empowered by correcting her wrong, and I really really really hope this is the end of her pirating days.

26 comments:

Cindy said...

FIRST!!! YESSS!!

Heffalump said...

Yeah...I think a VCR in her underwear might have chafed some...
My childhood experience with stealing was eating a banana chip at the grocery store. I was there with a friend and her Mom, and my friend and I each stole a banana chip. By the time we got to the checkout line I was so upset that I was crying and made her Mom pay extra to cover the cost of my theft.

Mrs Lemon said...

Careful about washing that bean bag. The beans inside, you know ... you might end up with bean soup. Then it would be compounded into a dine and dash situation.

I wish I could have seen her walking down the hall too. That would be fun.

MommyJ said...

I have never known children to think so much about being mischievous as yours do. And I mean that as a compliment to their smarts. Because seriously. There's a whole lotta forethought going in to an operation like that. AND SHE'S 4.

You're totally doing the right thing. Take her in, make her apologize. Make her squeemishly uncomfortable. And you're good to go.

So happy to read your funny words again. :)

And I am so going to call you back. I promise.

Adolescent Family said...

Oh, i really do miss you guys! :)

Klin said...

Impressive!!

You don't need advice. You know just what to do for your child.

Dang that girl is good. Can I borrow her for a bit? I promise it doesn't involve theft ;)



BTW, what are ya'll doing October 14th ish? I'll be in your neck of the woods.

Plain Jame said...

Hiyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee!

Um you did NOT just ask for advice on the internets.

I was a clepto. And a compulsive liar. Therefore I got nothin. I will make a big deal out of it WHEN (notice I did not say IF - yes WHEN) my kids kife things. I dont want them to be anything like me.

Lisa said...

You're doing the right thing!

Emily stole some beads from a store when she was around 5. I took her back and the last time I checked, she still remembered and felt awful about it.

I stole candy, too. Never told anyone, just ate it. All.

Rebecca said...

I can't give you any advise cause my kids are perfect.. they don't do anything wrong.. so I have not idea.. hahahahah...... would of loved to see her waddling out bean bag intact.. or how that felt sitting in the car..so forth and so on.. she is a smart one.. wanna know the follow up.. unfortunatly with her cute smile she will get away with a lot even in a .. in your undies, its yours world!!!

ucmama said...

I stole things. I had things stolen from me. I learned that karma will always gitcha. It may just take her longer to learn it like it did for me.

Luckily for me, I'm not her mom and I could laugh at this story. A lot. Because that's hilarious! No advice from me mama, you're doing it right.

ucmama said...

Oh, and at least she didn't tell you to smell it.

Barnecked Lady said...

OH.MY.GOSH. So freaking hilarious! That is so funny! Really, I can't stop laughing!!!!

Sarah Tilley said...

i remember stealing a box of crayons from a kid's cubby at school when i was in first grade. i felt guilty about it, so i stuck them under my sweater and was on my way to return them when i got busted by a teacher. all it took was her stern look and two second "shame on you" speech to scare me straight for at least the next ten years.

i think it's inventive folk like avie that have necessitated the advent of the full body cavity search. :)

S said...

FYI give the person heads up on the scolding they are expected to do. I took J back and they said "oh that is ok just do not do it again" WTHECK

Carrot Jello said...

I'm just sitting here laughing thinking about a VCR in her underwear. That would take some skills.

Rebecca said...

yea for updates!!! You were totally wise to call the teacher to give the heads up.. its easy to say don't worry.. but then the lesson isn't learned.. you are a wise mommy.. gee wonder where avee gets her smarts from!

Charlotte said...

VCR? Maybe she could have tired to steal an 8 track or rotary phone, too. Although hopefully none in her underwear. (That really was a brilliant move.)

Yvonne said...

I'm sorry she is just so darned cute I would have laughed, too.

But you are a better mom than I am--YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.

cindy said...

I stole an eraser from a girl in second grade....it was cool.

I had to go and apologize, to the girl and the teacher. I was scared...almost wet my pants.

I don't recall ever stealing again..until my later years, anyway...

Hold on to your erasers!!!

mycurlyhairdays said...

Sessa came home with a handful of erasers from Kindergarten a few years ago. She knew I meant business when we talked about not stealing. I dropped off the carpool kids and turned right around and took her straight back to school to talk to her teacher. Her teacher was very kind, but very firm about not stealing. Then she had to tell R (luckily he didn't laugh, the erasers were not in her panties) and that reinforced it for her.
Not a problem since, but we have a few more years and a few more kids to go!

Tori said...

Oh Avee... the underwear... genius.

You know- I stole a small 45 record of "The 12 Days of Christmas" in the 1st grade. Not in my underwear... I told my mom I won it.

Now, 27 years later, 3 stints in a juvie, 59 days in the wilderness, and a failed marriage look how awesome I turned out!!! It'll be fine.

S said...

Well Tori when you put it that way! LOL

Emily said...

You are SO good at crap like that. I would have totally botched the whole thing - like J.

okierivermama said...

Keifer stole some pieces of bubble gum a couple of years ago at our lil country store...8 of them enough for all the kids and adults with us. we pulled out on the road and he began passing them out. we went right back to the store and the county sherriff was just pulling up...i told him that nickie(the girl who owned the store) had called the police on him and made him carry in the unchewed gum and all his pennies and made him tell her he was sorry and count out all the pennies....
to this day if anyone even mentions gum or candy he says yes but you have to pay for it first....
steff

S said...

I am so glad you took my advice and called ahead. It really helps with the adult front! BTW she needs to come down this weekend and get some redneck training!

Super L said...

I didn't steal things. I just lost my milk money in 1st grade, panicked, blamed it on a 5th grader playing nearby and said he stole my money, got him sent to the principal, nearly suspended, and grounded for a week. Then finally broke down and told the truth. My mom made me make cookies for him and go to his house and apologize. Scariest day of my life. Still.

So . . . at least she's not framing 5th graders. Yet.

Comment commandeering over.