Monday, August 3, 2009

Because I'm That Effective

I may have mentioned before, Bo has a problem with drawing the one teeny, tiny negative aspect out of a completely wonderful and enjoyable experience, and that being the only thing he talks about in the end.

Most of the time it infuriates me. I'm not cut out to be the mother of a pessimist. Pessimists bug me. And yet, here I have this cute little 6 year old who pretty much came that way.

On Saturday we went on a little day trip. He got to take a friend. Aside from J getting to take me, no one else got to take a friend. They all got Frosties on the way. We had a delicious buffet dinner where he got to have unlimited rootbeer. Everything we did was kid-oriented. He had a blast. He stayed up until midnight. His friend spent the night. Etc, etc, etc.

The next day I asked him if he had a good time and he said, "Only kind of. I didn't win at stickball, so I didn't have that much fun."

I lit in to him big time. I was so annoyed and I think he's old enough to learn how to have a better perspective on things. I could be wrong, but that won't be the first time.

I listed probably 15 things he got to do that he loves. There was not one.single.negative. thing about that day trip and I was going to cram that down his throat. One of my finer, more enviable parenting skills.

That conversation was Sunday morning.

Today, around noon on Monday....

I caught wind of an older neighbor kid being a punk so I made everyone come inside (My niece is babysitting four kids). I asked, "Was Austin being a bully then?"
And the oldest babysittee said, "Well, it really all started when Bo called him a piece of crap."

Immediately Bo's eyes dart toward me to assess my reaction.

Naturally I'm disappointed that my six year old is calling people Piece's o' Crap. So I express this to him and he watches me intently waiting for me to crack. Because, let's face it, the kid knows me. And six year old boys calling 14 year old boys a Piece of Crap is funny.

But I didn't smile or laugh. I pulled him over to me and expressed to him how disappointed I was that he thought it was okay to do that, and how sad I would feel if I heard someone calling him such a thing. And then I did what I always do and I asked, "How would you feel if someone called you that?" I waited for his rote response, "I'd feel baaaaaaaaad." But it didn't come.

Instead he went back in his mind to lecture # 247 and he answered, "I'd feel bad-good."
Not expecting that response I stopped short and said, "What does that even mean Bo?"

He answered, "Well, I'd be having a good day because ev-wee-thing else about that day has been wondofo' and I would be happy about the whole day, except that one little paht when someone calls me a piece of cwap, but that wouldn't be the most impo'tent paht of the day."

Wrong lecture buddy, wrong lecture....

22 comments:

Sarah Tilley said...

smart kid!

InkMom said...

Classic.

G-Dog thinks the whole day has been worthless if he doesn't get to stay until he is ABSOLUTELY ready to leave. Which means, we never leave. And since that can't be possible, he always thinks everything we do outside of our own home is worthless. As soon as it's over. Because he's loving it while we're still there.

Yeah.

It's pretty fun.

Charlotte said...

Wow, the strategic cross lecture move. Very creative play on Bo's part. Did you follow with the "but then people won't want to play with you" or "if you pick on someone larger than yourself, you'll eventually get pulverized"? Or you could have folded with the "that is a piece of crap argument" and watched him laugh...

Suzanne said...

LOL! That's how my oldest son is. We try to be logical with him, but sometimes I think he just wants to say the opposite of what we want him to say... Good luck with future lectures! ;)

Heffalump said...

Hah!
I have one kid that can have a totally sucky day (as in dental work, groggy from the meds and etc.) and if he gets ice cream or a piece of candy, he will say it is the "Best Day Ever!"

Rebecca said...

love the little minds.. i gave up on parks for a while because no matter how long we stayed..it could be pitch black and cold it was NEVER long enough and it always turned into the worst time ever.. or evah... as they say. I always remind mind children it could be worse and if they think the day is that bad.. I will give them a bad day to remember.. keeps them smiling.. cause they tested me once..only once!!! Cross logic on his part was pretty good though.. he listened.. you got to give him that!!!!

dancin' momma said...

He is SO much smarter than I am!

Mrs. Organic said...

That boy cracks me up!

okierivermama said...

ok but at least you know he heard the first lecture cause he was able to give you an explanation out of it....i think i start to talk and mine just hear whah whah wah wha wah...kinda like the teacher from charlie brown
steff

Klin said...

I can tell you my kid would have turned around and said something to the effect that "I heard you say that mom." Bad thing is- it would be true.

Sister Pottymouth said...

That is awesome! What is it with oldest boy children?

Code Yellow Mom said...

I don't know...sounds like the right lecture. Just think - it's like two lectures in one - Don't Be an Ingrate Pessimist and Don't Let People Calling You a Piece of Crap Ruin Your Day. Both good life lessons. :)

I'm really laughing so hard right now. This is classic Nobody. And classic Nobody's children. I love it.

mycurlyhairdays said...

W
O
W
!
!
!

Plain Jame said...

Seriously woman... the child could be mine.

Thats all I have to say about that.

Sarah said...

I wish I was that clever

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

Selective hearing + selective recall = childhood editing. You've gotta love it.

Adolescent Family said...

Smarty pants! :)

Bryant and Jodi said...

All I can say is I love it! To funny.

Super L said...

That. Is. Awesome.

We've now stopped asking Cletus if he had a fun day and just inform him that he did. "Wow, you had a great day, think of all the great things we did . . ." and list them. It seems to work, surprisingly.

I just wish he would listen to me well enough to cross-reference . . .

Tori said...

Oh My Gosh. I didn't even abbreviate because that was SO AWESOME.

Ya know- Taj does the same thing. He had so much fun on vacation, but he said it wasn't fun because he didn't catch a fish with his hands.

Physcokity said...

Why do they always take the things that you teach them and apply them incorrectly every.time. It is usually without fail that their incorrect application is to their benefit and your embarrassement...it's like the triple word score parent child lecturing.

IKEA 4-evoh! said...

"Aside from J getting to take me" Awwww :)

"xcept that one little paht when someone calls me a piece of cwap, but that wouldn't be the most impo'tent paht of the day" = He's got you dude. Pwnd you like a noob!