Sunday, August 16, 2009

Thanks Be to Steve

Saturday morning I was sitting on our front step, enjoying the beautiful day and the fact that we had exactly nothing planned for the day. As I watched a Danyo toodle around with a diaper nearly reaching his ankles, I realized I should probably schedule in a least one diaper change; when a man walked up and handed me a flyer.

He was from the church that was half a block away and they were having a little free garage sale thing complete with hotdogs. Avee heard "hotdogs and lemonade and cookies" and she was sold. She explained, "I'll just drink water here before we go because I don't like lemonade, LET'S GO Mom!"

I went inside to lie down on my bed for a few minutes and wish that Avee hadn't heard the invitation. After 7 pounces and 42 pleases communicated through lip braille on my face and a few on my back calves, I finally gave in and took her and Bo over. Bo was grounded from playing with friends for the day, so he didn't care if we were walking into the lion's den---he was going somewhere!

There were two tables with clothes laid out on them and as we approached, approximately 12 adults greeted us exuberantly. My kids immediately shoved their faces in the respective parts of my body that they reached. They invited me to pick out some clothes, what size were my kids? I looked around and realized, right across from them was subsidized housing and that this was like a little miniature outreach in my neighborhood. I suddenly felt a little bad about eating their hotdogs that were probably meant for people who couldn't really afford hotdogs.

We ate three.

As I sat in the shade, trying on my most, "I'm not really a charity case" face, Avee stuffed donuts in her face, and Bo found the joys of frisbee golf. Or disc golf---if you're serious about it.

There was a new pastor at this church and a whole slew of people (I suspect church leaderish types) had come down from Minnesowduh to help get things moving along.

They may well have been the nicest people I have ever encountered in my life.

J and I have long since noticed, we haven't met a Lutheran we didn't like and these people did not dissuade us of this opinion.

They cheered and oohed and ahhhed over Bo's frisbee throwing skills. He is actually quite good, but their cheering and complimenting rivaled the stands when Michael Phelps' swept the Olympics. It was good for Bo, he can't seem to find any happiness in this cruel cruel world where whining is kept at a minimum and hitting sisters is not allowed.

Once Bo realized he was pretty good at this frisbee business, he immediately became obsessed and forgot his charity dog and donut and played at full speed.

The owner of the frisbee stand played in a league (if you've never heard of frisbee golf, that was me, approximately 24 hours ago) and had several discs. So moved by Bo's ability to immediately obsess and to actually bring some 6-year-old skill to the sport, he offered a disc to Bo.

"It's a gift from Jesus!" said Steve. I stifled a giggle since Steve's wife was sitting right next to me. I watched Bo look up at him with genuine curiosity. I read his face like a book. I wanted to immediately teleport across that field and shove Bo's curious face into my hip to stifle the question I knew was coming.   All along, Bo thought he'd been playing with a Lutheran named Steve from Minnesowduh. I knew I'd never make it in time.  Sure enough, "Jesus? I thought yo' name was Steve. Thank you!"

Steve answered, "Thanks be to God."

Poor Bo, getting gifts from Jesus who he thought was Steve and then thanking Jesus-Steve but the thanks was actually meant for God.  He really just didn't have a chance.


Carrot Jello said...

Thanks be to the cook then.

Yvonne said...

Some day I'd like to see what the "I'm not really a chariity case face" looks like ; )

Super L said...

Hey, I was master of that face when we used to live in gov'ment housing! "No, really, I'm just here until we graduate, we have it all together, really . . . "

Cletus would now patiently explain to you that since God made the stuff (petroleum, dinosaurs) that the frisbee is made of, the frisbee is a gift from Jesus.

Apology accepted.

Charlotte said...

Inviting people with hotdogs in front of their children really is a low blow.

There is nothing quite like thinking something is a community event when really it is an outreach program. That is how we ended up at an Elk Lodge Halloween party once (that was uncomfortable!)

And then to have Jesus masquerading as Steve the frisbee gift giving guy. Any question Bo would have come up with would have been priceless (I would have liked one asking about appearances to a founding LDS prophet).

Sarah Tilley said...

i applaud you for going. even though i consider myself religious, i still think it's weird when people throw out the praise jesus talk in everyday conversation over trivial, non-consequential matters.

there's a frisby golf course at the park down the street from the grandparents' place that henry and i frequent. i've never actually taken him to play frisby golf because the college guys that play there seem really serious about it, like it was some kind of actual sport or something. but henry has been conked on the head by an errant frisby once, so at least he's had a feel for it, more or less...

Lilac A. Rugg said...

It's good to get a different perspective sometimes... if only to help you realize, there are weirder religious people than Mormons out there in the world. :)

ucmama said...

I was stopped once on a cold winter day and offered coats for my poor chilly children. My poor chilly children who had very nice new winter coats in the car that they had refused to wear. I bet Steve was in on that one too.

I-K-E-A! said...

"lip braille on my face"

Will there be a class and video of this?
Oh please, please, please.

Klin said...

The comments are as entertaining as the post to read.

I am especially fond of Lilac's comment. That has been my experience, too. :)

omar said...

Sooo... While I've been gone, you've been eating food meant for poor people and making fun of Jesus' gifts?

I'm sure that somwhere there are professional disc golf leagues. Get that boy some lessons. Cash in on that talent!

Rebecca said...

Thanks be to the DOG is what I say.. and the drinking water at home cause she doesn't like lemonade.. that girl thinks ahead.. lip braille on your calves.. bwaaaahaa.. love it.. now go play some frisbee!!

Jeuce said...

The thought of lip braille really cracked me up!

Super L said...

Hello? Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?
Is Nobody Home?

Tori said...

I wonder if my aunt and uncle are Lutheran. They say "PRAISE THE LORD!!" after everything. It's kinda humerous and borderline annoying after a while...