Friday, May 15, 2009

Because I Think I Should Post

Every two years, since a year after my blessed union with J---I have had a baby. Right around this time of year, I have a wrinkly, cry-ey, poopy, leechy, precious newborn.

Or I'm ready to pop.

This year is the first two year mark that this is not the case. Although, I just made some delish, made-from-scratch buttermilk pannycakes, and I feel like I'm finna pop.

Another thing we've done every two years, or less, is move.

So I'm spinning around my house, itching to nest, pack, weed out, (I'd call it spring cleaning but Super Happy Girl thinks that's stupid, and I live to please my friends) and there's really no need. My house, in general, is immaculate. I'm one of those people who can't let the ice melt in an empty glass on my counter. If it's not in someone's hand, serving it's purpose, I'm washing it and putting it away.

I hope nobody else got a puddle of sarcasm on their keyboard just now...

So, I've been nesting.

And yelling at my kids for things they've done every day until now, and haven't gotten yelled at.

"Really!?! You think it's okay to leave your popsicle stick on the table like that!? What is WRONG with you..."

That's really all I have to say about that.

Bo is home from school today. Pretty sure it's a mental health day, but shhhh---don't tell him that. He thinks his leg is broken. It broke in the night. When he was sleeping. And so brutal was this break, that he couldn't make it to the bathroom this morning and peed on the floor outside the bathroom.

I'm feeling a little more compassion for him than I normally would in this situation because one, I'm just a nice girl like that and two, he really believes all this. And that is entertaining for me. I'll do pretty much anything for good entertainment.

Last night as I was fighting with Danyo to get to sleep, Bo sighed loudly, oblivious to Danyo's screams and the sweat dripping off my brow, and said, "I am so tired of doing stuff at school that I am way too super smart for." See, that's cute and funny, but it sounds like this, "I'm so ty-ode of doing stuff at school that I am way too supoh smawt foh." which is like, 5x's funnier.

I wondered when the way he was feeling at school would catch up with his desire to say it out loud to me. I asked for some more specifics and his complaint was with the same papers he's bringing home, that immediately send me into a coma when I read them. I have a hard time believing more than 3 kids in that class need that level of learning.

On the other hand, he draws pictures of him and a couple of his friends racing go-karts, under the title "What I Want To Be When I Grow Up" because he wants to be Mario when he grows up. And right now, he's rocking himself on an ottoman and saying "pizzata" over and over. So really, how's a person to know that "learning" to read "I can run" is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly boring him.

And lastly, when Danyo was born, I told him probably 4 gazillion times, "You are false advertisement buddy, you make me think I can have 12 kids." He was so sweet and easy and snuggly, and has maintained that description for quite some time.

I know that kids change as they grow, but the changes he's making, I can't take. He used to ask to go to bed if J or I were ever taking too long to get him there. In fact, just two Sundays ago, as we were about to walk out the door to church (which is also, exactly his naptime) he took himself upstairs and climbed in his crib for a nap.

But something snapped about a week ago. Part of me thinks it's a delayed reaction to my 5 day absence (three weeks ago!), or I worked all day Saturday last week (which I never do) or, he's just growing and changing and this is the new him...

He screams. SCREAMS at naptime and bedtime. When I go in to deal with him, he reaches for me so pathetically that I have to call for backup because I want so desperately to pick him up. When J deals with him, he basically yells at him, gives him dirty looks, and talks back.

We have no idea what to do. I've tried letting him cry it out (worked for Bo, never worked for Avee) and he has gone as long as an hour and a half with no stop.

Last night I pulled him into bed with me to snuggle, hopping he'd just find relief and give it up. He humored me for about 4 minutes and then got up to go about his business of toodling around the house. I put him back in his crib.

The only thing that works, is J laying on the floor in his room. Which is great, for a quick-fix, but not a solution. We moved him in with the other kids, because I thought maybe he was lonely. Yeah, he couldn't care less.

So, if anyone's faced something like this, and has some insights--let me know. He's also completely given up milk. Which is actually fine by me---he's going to be 2 in a couple of weeks, so he doesn't really need it anymore---but it seems weird that he's gone cold turkey at the exact same time he's freaked out about sleeping.

In the daytime he's mostly delightful. He's still sweet, smiley, and snuggly. He does have more opinions, and some OCD tendencies (which we find hilarious and endearing), and he can't talk---so he gets really frustrated when he has a want or need we don't understand. Which sadly, happens a lot.

J's back and my sanity thank you in advance.

Avee just exclamed, "Oh my holy smokes!"

That's just cute.


Howertons in Iowa said...

You can borrow one of my babies (the 3rd one, hint, hint) to fill your 2 year lack of new baby. And while my little one is no longer a baby, he certainly acts like one, and well, he is new to you :)

And for the record, my computer was soaked in your sarcasm- I had to get a towel!

Tell Bo, I hope his broken leg feels better soon, that's just the cutest thing EVOH!

Cindy said...

The only way we can get parker to take naps or go to sleep at night is to sit in his room until he falls asleep. Usually it is within minutes, but sometimes it drags on. Ben and I take turns. I tried to lock him in his room, but he screams for a very, very, very long time. I think ONCE he actually crawled back into his bed and fell asleep.

I don't want him to cry..really scream. Right now I can sit there and wait. I am not sure if it is a stage or what. It seems like he gets clingier (not sure that is a word) everyday.

I am not sure if this is advice or not. Maybe they just need extra attention and lovies. Maybe they are afraid of the dark. i don't know?? maybe he just does not want to be separated from you?

I am just going to continue to sit. You can join me, but with 2 others it may be hard. OR I could be giving you the worst advice..then you should not listen.

I think I rambled!!

Plain Jame said...

You SHOULD post - and post often (title.)
Sooooooooo, I got nothin. My 3 year old has been going through the terrible twos since she was 17 months old.
Plus, in my psychotic condition, I probably would've taken in Bo to the ER positive that he had a blood clot in his leg, and the screaming would just make me scream right back and cry myself to sleep.

I need to either give birth a little too soon to this one, or just get on prozac and be dead behind the eyes for awhile. You can live vicariously through me if you so desire.

Youre welcome.

Julia said...

Whenever my kids have had some night time problems (waking up several nights in a row...), I give them some Motrin before bed to help the sleep and hopefully break the cycle.

Maybe he's ready for a big bed? They sneak up on you and grow up, don't they.

omar said...

Bourbon. You're welcome.

I was going to offer up one of my kids to help fill the gap, but Howertons beat me to it. Maybe we could work out a rotation?

InkMom said...

I would feel SOOOOOO much better if someone would gain pregnancy weight with me this summer. I know you won't have the same end result as me, but it could be fun.

GDog just looked over my should at Avee's picture. "Mommy, I would not want to live with her."

So there goes our matchmaking. Or were they the ones we were trying to keep apart anyway? Good times.

I had a hard time there figuring out if it was Danyo or J yelling, giving dirty looks, and talking back. It produced a funny mental picture, I'll tell you that. Unless it actually was J. And then it's not so funny, it's exactly the way things should be.

I love "finna". We lived in Memphis, and there are degrees to your fixin', you know. It ranges from the one that got me made fun of at BYU (I'm fixin' to go to the library.) to "fissin" to "fit'n" and finally, "finna" which means you may as well stop talking altogether because you may be speaking a language, but it ain't English.

Klin said...

I think Danyo is acting up because you didn't just have a baby, or are ready to pop or move. So it's all your fault.

Yeah, just snarky comments coming from me today. I didn't just let my kids cry a lot. After 20 minutes I went in to talk to them about it being bed time and mommy being tired and how we already played just the three of us (daddy, mommy, and baby) until 11 pm. We can play again tomorrow.

So I'm not help. send Danyo over. I've already got 12 kids here this weekend. What's one more? My table seats 8 and the bar will hold 3, so you better send the high chair, too.

I wish I was kidding.

Tori :) said...

I have a ton of kids, but I cannot help you. My children are perfect...
Or maybe I'm an alcoholic. Thanks Omar.

Physcokity said...

I'm feeling the "yellin at kids" vibe right about now my own self. It seems like I'm abnormally crabby towards the kids and a lot less tolerant than normal.

Lisa said...

When my oldest was two she would take 3-4 hour naps. It was the only way I could work and I loved it. But staying up until 11pm wasn't working so well. So sadly, at two years of age, I had to Stop giving her naps. No naps and bedtime at 8p.

Hopefully that isn't what will work for you because really, naptime is like heaven dipped in chocolate.

Rebecca said...

i am with tori.. perfect kids.. lots of booz.. try it and you'll like it!

Code Yellow said...

see. kindergarten perplexes me. on the one hand, they're switching to all-day to give kids more academics (but let's face it - that's really for parents who want to reduce child-care costs, but still, it's billed as an academic thing), and yet they don't do anything more or more interesting in those seven hours than they ever did. and that just does not work for supoh smart kids. i don't blame him for breaking his leg in his sleep. i think i would too. :)

sorry about danyo. i wish i had something to offer. we had a bit of a crying jag a few weeks ago with charlie, but it was moslty just a protest, try out the boundaries thing, and he's probably my least stubborn child. on the other hand, i'm still having issues with the almost five-year-old that started when he was nearly two. long phase, that. :)

Anonymous said...

having not been thru the twos with one who was previosly a good sleeper I have no advice
we did find out our oldest was having some kind of night terrors when he was about that age and he was remembering enough to be afraid to sleep....thankfully we have totally outgrown that

Sketchy said...

Maybe he's outgrowing nap time? Or at least getting too much of a nap? So he's not that tired at bedtime.

I really hope that's not it because I reaaaaaally hated when my kids gave up naps.

I remember that first 2 arms never felt so empty.

Until the year Alex started THAT was a Momma Meltdown.

omar said...

To clarify, I meant that the bourbon was for Danyo. The right amount will take the fight right out of him.

But hey, Tori, whatever helps you get through the day.

Michelle Garff said...

we put X in a queen bed and one of us would fall asleep with him. actually, i would have to go move adam after a couple hours. that was when he turned 2. now all 3 boys sleep in the same room and jacob and x share a bed. crying it out never worked for him...and believe me, we tried EVERYTHING!

Suzanne said...

You're nesting? Nobody, are you SURE you're not pregnant? ;)

It sounds like Danyo is about to turn 2 and we all know how well 2 year olds behave. I have no advice...except for maybe take a lot of Tylenol and hope it passes quickly! :D

No Cool Story said...

Firstly: Why is this post showing up just now?

Secondly: I read "Or I'm ready to poop". My apologies.

Thirldy: Thank you for not using the phrase which we shalln't use. My delicate mind still intact thanks you.

Fourthly: "I hope nobody else got a puddle of sarcasm on their keyboard just now..."
There's only one Nobody I know.

And Lastly: When I say my children were perfect when they were little, I really mean it; so in this regard I have no wise advice other than: A round of Nyquil for everybody!

No Cool Story said...

Will you sign Bo's cast for me if it indeed turn out he broke his leg during the night.

Make it say "Mario 4-ever!" or something clever like that.

Native American Momma said...

Perhaps it is the milk, it has a high level of that tryptophan stuff in it which makes you feel sleepy, you know like dark meat turkey.

Perhaps a difference the in the nap time routine will help.

Wow, a broken leg overnight, you should really look into the safety of that bed. LOL