My BFF The Telmarketer

Uh. Mah. Gosh!!!

I had forgotten how ridiculous and frustrating and obnoxious tele-center people can be.

I had a fraudulent charge through Paypal about a month ago. I was advised to change any cards, passwords, etc that I had on my computer.

So I called about our credit card. They said they'd send another.

That was October 22nd, I haven't received it. I don't use the card, so I didn't notice it had been that long. But once I realized, it made me nervous that we had a card floating around out there, waiting to be used.

So I called to let them know it wasn't received and decided I'd just like it cancelled altogether.

You would think I was asking for the first born male of the Eastern European who took my call.
She would not close my account. Everything I said, she responded with, "I'm sorry you are having this problem, please can I have your social security number."

I honestly started wondering if the number on the back of the first canceled card was actually a scam number.

She, after 17 minutes, apparently wasn't authorized to pull the plug on the card, and transferred me to Jason.

Jason and me ain't friends. I hung up on him. Which, generally, is an impolite and juvenile thing to do. But I could not stop the madness with logic and reasoning, so I did what I had to.

I understand that these people have a job to do, and most of the time, they are just doing their job. I always try to take that into account, be patient, and not blame my frustration on the person.

But he would not close my account. Would not.

I said about 5 times, "I would like for you to close my account. I don't want to verify my address so you can send me another card, I don't want to tell you my mother's maiden name for the 5th time, I don't want to hear about how my card can be turned into a bomb shelter should I need it and how all of that is free to me. I just want you to cancel my card. Please."

He would then say, "As I said Mrs Nobody, it takes a few moments."

Finally I snapped, "How long is a moment in your world, because it has now been 15 minutes since you said that last!!!!"

I think he may have even said, "I'm not the enemy here, Nobody."

But I could have made that up.

He kept talking, telling me about all the benefits of my platinum card. Finally I just started saying every three seconds, "Please close my card. Please close my card. Please close my card."

Finally he read the disclosure, asked me if I had any questions, and when I said I didn't, started to reiterate what the disclosure said.

"You really aren't reiterating are you? I've been on the phone for 43 minutes trying to close this card, and you're REITERATING!?!?!?!"

I think he thought I was calling him a name.

Then he just got nasty. There are few things I hate more in this world, than people who are being nasty, cloaking it in polite words.

"Mrs. Nobody. Ma'am. I am trying to help you to understand."

That's when I said, "UNDERSTAND THIS SUCKAH!!!" Click.


No I didn't.