Follow-Up And Linky Love

I wanted to follow up briefly on my last post. I appreciate all the comments, advice, suggestions, and offers to...burn places down.

I may not have been entirely clear. While it is troubling to me that Bo was choked at school, my issue was never with the boy. He is a little guy, and Bo actually really likes him (despite my efforts to get him to go elsewhere for companionship) and the kid isn't singling out Bo to hurt him. He just doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself and Bo is always right there. The kid doesn't even typically have bad intent---he's just a boy with probably an awful home life and has no idea what kinds of behaviors are completely inappropriate, and what kinds aren't. Bo has never felt bullied or picked on by him. Even when he came home with a bloody nose, he was sad from being hurt, but was pretty much over it by the time he got to me. I can't say I entirely understand Bo's willingness to keep going right back into the lion's den with this kid---but some lessons have to be learned on your own, I guess.

My problem always has been, and remains---the school's inability to deal with any kind of problem, appropriately. They have a very strict policy of "punish now, ask questions...never". And it's not acceptable to me.

The principal called J (after being unable to reach me yesterday because I was getting my hair did and some serious, serious pampering) and J made our position clear and had a relatively normal conversation with the man. J used a word I'd never heard before. I gave J a high five for sounding smart so effortlessly.

Then the principal had to inform J that the poor little kid had just gotten suspended from school. How exactly a school can find justification to suspend a 5 year old, I don't know. But some of you might not share that opinion with me. Bo was involved in the incident (the kid flashed him and another boy and supposedly said something "vulgar") so I am a little concerned that my bringing up this same child's involvement in all of Bo's issues, and then the subsequent flashing, was what got him suspended. I really hope not. My heart breaks a little for that boy, and I sort of have to put it out of my mind, because really---what can I do?

From this, we can learn, the school really does have a zero tolerance policy on flashing.

I tried to get as many details from Bo last night, as far as his involvement in all of it, went. It was as effective as trying to get a donkey to read a sonnet. To be fair, it was an hour past his bedtime, but seriously, he couldn't hold himself upright, he couldn't complete a sentence, and when it seemed like he was about to complete a sentence, he'd stop and ask, "What was your question again?"

I bring this up to tell you something else. I got my hair colored and it's about 52 shades darker than my normal hair color. It's quite a drastic change. This was how my hair looked last night when I tried to get the donkey to recite prose. He was on my lap. Most of the time. We were inches from each other's faces when I was trying to get him to focus. We spent about 15 minutes very close.

This morning he climbed in my bed and snuggled with me for about 45 minutes. He awake, me asleep.

Later I came downstairs and talked to him about getting dressed and finding his library book and what he wanted for breakfast.

And THEN, after all of that, he came downstairs with his clothes on and said, "WOW! What did you do to your hair! It looks TOTALLY different! How did you DO THAT! Avee, look, mom changed her hair like magic."

If I wasn't a veteran at having a completely brilliant, unbelievably dense child---I might not have been able to get past what happened this morning.

The best part? He did not believe me when I listed all the conversations we'd had in the last 12 hours when my hair looked like this already.

But it's okay, cuz you know, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not the one who knows everything in this relationship.

Okay, nextward.

I've read a couple of posts in the last week that I have loved. So I want to share them with you.

I've realized since becoming a mother, that there are few other "professions" in life that people are more critical of. I don't really understand our need to criticize another's best efforts in parenting. But it's rampant. I'm certainly guilty of it myself, so don't let me lead you to think I'm not. I become considerably less critical/judgmental with each new "adventure" with my own children (poop smeared walls, booger eating, screaming tirades, entire package of Reese's eating, etc).

Emily is the wife of J's best friend. We lived in Texas near each other for a little while so I got to know her a little better---but nothing like the bloggity blogness world to help us get to know each other even better. I love her style, and I have a lot of respect for her as a person, think she's an excellent mother, and I love this post: Dear Soccer Mom

If that's not enough to convince you, this is another one of my favoritest posts ever. It's a bit older, but wooee! It still moves me.

The other is my very good friend Code Yellow Mom who moved to Ukraine about 6 months ago. She's an incredible writer. Always has been since I've known her. Going on 16 years. Her oldest is about 6 months older than Bo, and I find myself often reading about Cal, and mentally preparing for where Bo will be in about 6 months. Given this story, I can only hope we are raising Bo as well as Cal is turning out to be.
It's here.

The end.