Monday, April 13, 2009

Preparing For A Visit

Before my mom comes to visit me I:
Clean my house
Vacuum the stairs
Change the sheets
Hide the soda pop
Quit doing the laundry
Start wearing lipstick
Hide the white sugar
Get ready for a lovely visit

When my mom comes to visit me she:
Has packed 12 outfits for her 2 and a 1/2 day visit
Has included variations for each outfit to account for warm or cold weather
Does every last stitch of laundry in my house
Hounds me for more hangers
Tells me the soda pop hiding in my pantry worries her
Leaves a trail of lipstick kisses all over my kids, especially the baby
Acts like my house always looks this clean and compliments me as though we both don't know it rarely looks like this
Ignores my kids when they say,
"My mom cleaned the house all day"

Makes me go to the store for things I'm running out of and then pays for it
Updates me on The Young and the Restless characters of which I know nothing about
Talks about them like they are real people in real situations
Then tells me to shut up because I'm laughing at her while she does this
Does my dishes before they are even done being used
Listens to my stories and tells me how she loves these kinds of stories

We love it when Grandma comes to visit.

Their first night in Iowa, we went to a restaurant that my sister (who is 8 months pregnant) pretty much drove all the way up here for. We can pretend it was for us, but we all know the truth. This restaurant serves yummy, simple, home-cooked food--family style. The bowls of potatoes they served us, while delicious, were colored kind of yellow/brown. My mom commented on it a few times to me, but I didn't really think much of it. I figured it was because we were eating there an hour before they closed and we were getting the bottom of the barrel.

As we were winding down on the gorge-fest, my mom asked the nice waitress, "What makes these potatoes brown like this?" I was a little surprised to hear my mom say that---because growing up with me as her daughter, I was pretty sure she knew not to point out one's imperfections like that. The waitress answered, with a more proper response, but basically, "it's the bottom of the barrel."

Still a little surprised that my mom had asked I said after the waitress left, "Why don't you just ask her why she's fat too, Mom."

And then the incessant attempt to be the funniest began. And my mom just sat there and let us. Probably we were totally annoying, but she just let us be, and even in our 30's, we sit there thinking we are the funniest thing to ever happen.

My favorite was, "Why don't you have any teeth in your mouth?"

That was J, and he's not even really that funny!

By the way, our waitress was neither fat, nor toothless.

She was lovely.

But the potatoes were brown.


Code Yellow said...

I miss your mom. :)

Was this the tractor hut place? Or Denny's? :)

P.S. I could never be the funniest in a contest like that, but I just must say that today, I AM FIRST. (Because you are posting in the middles of the night and it is already day here. Love it!)

Mrs Lemon said...

I know - my mom always takes me to the grocery store. And the last time she came, she brought a huge bag of toddler snacks. That was 6 weeks ago, and we're still not finished with them yet. :)

Howertons in Iowa said...

I love mom's and how their visit's make all of this true. I love that they ignore our faults and love us like we are perfect.
I really enjoyed reading this and I am glad that your mom was able to visit and update you on the Y&R.

Charlotte said...

I love when my mom comes to visit, although it would definitely be my father who asked a brown potatoe like question.

Having children creates lots of those questions. Usually loudly and in public. "Do you know you have a mustache, mom?" "Why does that lady smells funny." "Mom, the person in front of us can't count. This is a 10 or under express line and she has 20 things." (I may have taught them how to say that one, as it would be rude if I said it loud enough for them to hear.)

ucmama said...

One time M yelled at a giant guy wearing a red sweater and blue pants, "Hey look! It's Fat Albert!".

At least your mom didn't yell that.

I'm glad I got to meet your family. It explains so much...

Millie said...

Your mom reminds me of my mom. :)

Millie said...

Except my mom would bypass the white sugar/soda anxiety and replace it with putting mayonnaise, butter, and dill weed in EVERYTHING. She rocks.

omar said...

I'm gonna go show this to my mom, who NEVER does my laundry when she visits.

"Updates me on The Young and the Restless characters of which I know nothing about"

Yeah right. Don't try to tell me you don't sit in front of the TV every afternoon yelling at Victor Newman for marrying the wrong woman. Or that you've never considered visiting Genoa City, Wisconsin. I wouldn't believe you if you tried to tell me that, so don't even waste your time.

Plain Jame said...

Laughing @ omar... "RIIIIGHHHHT"

Sigh - my mom doesn't ever come to visit. I should be so lucky. I wonder if giving birth to my son will finally get her butt up here.

I love the bottom of the barrel potatoes. Who wants tinged food? I dont blame her...

Cindy said...

I love it when my mom visits too!!
And I love when you post about your mom visiting!! Someday Avee will post about how great her mom is...

Y&R what happened to Days? She is missing out!

MommyJ said...

My mom came to visit the other day. She folded all my laundry and then scolded me and said that every single person in my family needs new underwear.

Thanks so much for that. Really. Can I just fold my own laundry next time?

Heffalump said...

You have a good Mommy.

Anonymous said...

Yay for Omar! He knows who Victor Newman is! ps It never was Days....always Y&R....they're all the same to Nobody....can you imagine?

Rachelle said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Now your mom is going to know all of your secrets if she reads your blogs. And ditto.ditto.ditto sistah! too cute.

Sarah Tilley said...

your mom sounds cool. i remember one time ben and i tried to make fun of my grandma's soap opera... not a good idea.

my mom's a little too much like me to actually clean my house when she visits.

Amanda said...

Your mom sounds like mine. I love it when my mom, or my mother-in-law come to visit! I always have to make sure my microwave is clean or else my mom makes some comment about it, and then cleans it.

It is fun to get together with family and be funny and silly again! :)

ps. How was stake conference yesterday? I was thinking of Nobody yesterday. Did you hear Dallin H. Oaks say NORTH DAKOTA? Hmmm, from an apostle of the Lord, must be real! ;)

Klin said...

Your mom is AWESOME.

I was laughing so hard at this post and then I remembered being in a grocery store behind a large lady with a young boy, who is now 18. The cashier did something that made the register beep and being a true boy, who love big machinery, he shouted, "SHE'S BACKING UP! MOVE MOM- FAST!"

I moved alright. To another check stand with a very red face and trying hard not to laugh with the other cashiers.

You need to go to Annie's blog and take her quiz. Or did you already?

Tori :) said...

2 questions:
When can your mom come visit me?

If I clean my house will you do my laundry?

Lisa said...

I want to be just like your mom to my kids!

My mom just left. I did her laundry and cooked and cleaned and paid for I missing something?

Mycurlyhairdays said...

So fun to have family visit! It was so nice to meet them and learn all about you, only more in depth! BWA-HAHAHA!
I love that moms just take care of us! They are great like that! When my mom was here for Thanksgiving, she did the dishes!!!! And that was before the dishwasher was around! We were getting it the next day, but she wanted to just get them done for us! (0:
Gotta love it!

PS I am thinking about Boot Camping in the morning. You game?

Sarah said...

Your mom is awesome.. I wish I could see her more..