My Spittin' Image

I'm hoping that people who read this blog, that don't know me in real life, realize that I only write about a small part of our lives. On any given day, my kids can be tyrants or angels. Genuis or Gumpish. Hilarious or annoy the living daylights out of me. Of course, the beauty of this blogging business is, you only get to see what I put out there. Fortunately, I have real life friends who also read this blog, so I know I'm not completely a false advertisement. Or so I like to tell myself. In those lonely lonely nights when I'm alone. Blogging.

That being said. We have been having a problem with Avee spitting. I have no idea how or why she picked it up, but she is persistent in trying to land gobs of slobber on various people and things. It's disgusting. After trying lots of different ways of good solid parenting, to get her to stop, I finally had to pull out the spank card. And use it. She got a swat for spitting on the baby. That's a big deal. She was devestated, I was very stern with her, and I was certain the problem was solved.

So today imagine my surprise when....
I was sitting outside reading with my niece, "watching" Avee and Danyo playing. Suddenly I see 4 boys, 9-12 years old, all jump up and run across the yard, in the opposite direction from us. I see them throwing frantic glances over their shoulders and I looked around myself, for the threat.

I see Avee, sort of following, with a slow and casual saunter, in their general direction. It didn't add up. So I called out to one of the boys, "What's going on A?" He answers, "I don't know." Even more perplexing. So I look back over at Avee, still making her way toward them, and I see only her profile, but I can see her face is somewhat contorted and I see what looks like a large cotton ball on her chin. I take a guess, "Is she spitting?"

"Uhhh, yeah. I think so!"

"Avee Kathryn you get over here right this minute!"

She comes immediately. Furiously wiping her face over and over with the back of her hands. By the time she gets to me, there is no evidence.

"Were you spitting?!"

"Yes."

"What have I told you about spitting!?"

"I wasn't spitting on people."

Ohhhhhhhh. Well then. I had to fight every urge not to burst out laughing at her brilliant little defense. She was terrorizing a pack of boys, 3-4 times her age, but she wasn't spitting on them. Just following them with a gob of spit.

I keep telling her pretty girls don't spit. But she keeps proving me wrong all.the.time.

In other news, we went and met Bo's kindergarten teacher today.

I am aware, that as a first-time mother of a kindergartener, I am hyper--something. Hyper-everything, maybe. I want the teacher to jump up and clap that she has the privilege of my preshy, in her classroom. I want her to have all his information memorized. I want her to thank me profusely for letting him come to that school. I want her to look at him and know that he is the most brilliant child to ever enter her classroom.

I also want her to teach him to stop eating his boogers and lend him lunch money when he forgets.

As we were getting in the car to go to the school, Bo said, "I'm getting so nohvous." It melted my heart. I love when my kids express what they are feeling. As we drove he said, "My nohvous is getting biggoh and biggoh." I didn't tell him that mine was too. And that my heart was in my throat.

He was very quiet and stayed very close to me.

He didn't say a word to his teacher.

At the very end, as we were about to leave, I bent down to him and said, "This is where you will come tomorrow to answer some questions, and this is who will be asking you the questions." His teacher chimed in, "Yep, it will be right here at this table!"

Bo finally looked up, looked her square on and said, "I alweady know evwuh thing. Evwuhthing."

I laughed out loud and said to his teacher, "Aren't you thrilled you are getting a student who already knows everything?"

I do not think she thought either of us was smart or funny.